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Leo Vegas Norge Casino 100 gratisspinn uten innskuddsbonus

Leo Vegas Norge Casino 100 gratisspinn uten innskuddsbonus

Leo Vegas Norge Casino Review & Free Spins Bonus
Her får du mange saftige bonuser! Kom i gang med Leo Vegas Casinobonus! Kos deg med en herlig blanding av klassikere og siste nytt innen spill. Du er garantert en kongelig velkomst med Leo Vegas Casinobonus! Du får opptil 6000 kr i bonus og 100 gratis spinn på de fire første innskuddet ditt i Leo Vegas Casino! Eventuelle gevinster fra gratisspinn kommer uten omsetningskrav. For videre bonuser, ta en titt på kampanjesiden eller eposten. Hvis du har meldt deg på nyhetsbrevet på mobil, kan du få sms med tilbud, løpende kampanjer med mer.
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Leo Vegas ble etablert av svenske casinoentusiaster i 2012. De som kan sin latin vet at Leo betyr løve og i Nevada-ørkenen i USA, ligger spillmetropolen Las Vegas. For mange er Vegas stedet hvor drømmer blir skapt. Setter man dette sammen til LeoVegas er tanken bak å gi spillerne kongelig underholdning dag som natt.
I løpet av årene som er gått siden etableringen har den lille løven vokst seg stor og mektig og har gitt gjestene mye moro og spenning.
Det harde arbeidet har resultert i flere utmerkelser under igaming-bransjen forskjellige prisutdelinger. Senest den prestisjefylte utmerkelsen “Online Casino of the Year 2019” under Global Gaming awards. Samme år fikk de også prisen for “Best Mobile Operator of the Year”, under International Gaming Awards.
Casinoet kan skilte med casino, live casino og en sportsbook. De har spill fra de beste casinoleverandørene i bransjen, og oppdaterer kontinuerlig betalingsmetoder – også for norske spillere.
Nettcasinoet er basert på middelhavsøya, Malta, mens morselskapet har base i Sverige hvor de dessuten også er børsnoterte.
Når det kommer til valg av design på nettsidene så er de fine og rene. Fargemessig er det valgt hvitt, lysegrått samt en diskret oransje farge. Menyvalgene er få og intuitive. Hovedvalgene fører spillerne til en av de tre hovedseksjonene, casino, live casino og sportsbook, hvor man igjen får nye valgalternativer. Det er derfor lett å orientere seg på sidene og man kommer raskt dit man ønsker.
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Bonuser og fordeler hos Leo Vegas Norge

Hos Leo Vegas Norge får alle nye gjester tilbud om et frivillig velkomsttilbud i en av de tre seksjonene. Man bestemmer selv om man vil ha dette i Sportsbooken, Live Casinoet eller i casinoseksjonen. Nye gjester kan velge mellom disse tre velkomsttilbudene:
  • Casinoseksjonen byr på bonuser opptil 6000 kroner + 100 free spins
  • Sportsseksjonen tilbyr opptil 3000 kr i bonus
  • Live Casinoet opptil 4000 kr i bonus
I casinoseksjonen deles velkomstpakken ut slik:
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  • En bonus på 100 prosent opptil 1500 kroner + 25 gratisspinn på 3. innskudd
  • En bonus på 100 prosent opptil 1500 kroner + 25 frispinn på 4. innskudd
Til sammen får du altså 6000 kroner i tillegg til 100 freespins.
For å få et av de tre velkomsttilbudene må visse krav oppfylles. I casinoseksjonen må hvert av de fire første innskuddene være på minst 100 kroner. Alle innskuddsbonusene pluss frispinnene kommer med et omsetningskrav på 20 ganger. Innskudd gjort med Skrill eller Neteller gir ikke bonus. Pengene overføres direkte til spillekontoen, og man kan begynne å spille med bonusen med en gang.
I Live Casinoet er omsetningskravet på 40 ganger for både bonusen og gratispengene. Det første innskuddet må være på minst 100 kroner.
I Sportsbooken må gratispengene omsettes 4 ganger til minst 1.80 i odds. Gratisspillene tildeles om det spilles for minst 100 kroner til minimum 1,8 i odds første gangen man spiller i sportsseksjonen.
Festen er ikke over hos Leo Vegas Norge etter velkomsttilbudet. Nettcasinoet byr på både turneringer og kampanjer som kan gi både free spins, bonuser, pengepremier, reiser og andre flotte premier. For en full oversikt over hva som er av muligheter må man bare stikke innom på besøk med jevne mellomrom.
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Utover muligheten til å sikre seg gratisspinn og gratispenger i forbindelse med velkomsttilbudet byr Leo Vegas Norge på mange andre sjanser til dette i forbindelse med kampanjer og turneringer. Hva man kan få og hvor mye vil variere fra kampanje til kampanje. Man må rett og slett følge med og se om det er noe som frister.
På hvert av de fire neste innskuddene deles det også ut 25 gratisspinn, til sammen 100 gratisspinn. Dette betyr nye muligheter for å spinne i vei på en av de utvalgte automatene. Også for disse frisspinnene er det Mega Fortune Dreams, superpopulære Starburst, den typisk norske favoritten Joker Pro, Dazzle Me og Swipe and Roll. For å aktivere de 50 gratisspinnene som man får på hvert av innskuddene må man spille for minst 50 kroner.
Selv om det ikke deles ut gratisspinn i Live Casinoet og Sportsbooken i forbindelse med registrering så gir gratispengene de samme mulighetene. Disse er på henholdsvis 100 og 300 kroner. I og med at man får disse når man registrerer seg gir også de fine muligheter til å bli kjent i den utvalgte seksjonen uten å risikere egne penger.
Hos Leo Vegas Norge er det slik at kontanter og bonuspenger holdes adskilt. Det innebærer at så lenge man har egne penger på kontoen, spiller man for disse. Etter at disse er oppbrukt slik at man ikke har mer å spille for, begynner man å omsette av bonuspengene. Det betyr også at det opprinnelige innskuddet samt gevinster vunnet med spill av disse pengene kan tas ut uten å tenke på omsetningskravene.

Spillutvalg hos Leo Vegas Norge Casino

Hos Leo Vegas Norge er spillmulighetene mange. Det gjelder i alle de tre casinoseksjonene. Det er derfor et nettcasino som har noe for alle. I casinoseksjonen er det et stort utvalg av casinospill. Det tilbys nærmere 1200 spill. I tillegg er porteføljen variert. Her er det mange spill i kategorier som spilleautomater, jackpot-automater, skrapelodd samt kort- og bordspill. Hos Leo Vegas Norge er skrapelodd også prioritert som et eget valg i menyen.
For å kunne tilby det store og varierte utvalget av casinospill har Leo Vegas Norge valgt å samarbeide med svært mange utviklere og leverandører. Dette er anerkjente navn som Thunderkick, Authentic Gaming, Ezugi, Blueprint, Quickfire, ELK Studios, NetEnt, Evolution, Edict, Extreme Live Gaming, Quickspin, Felt Games, GameVy, Genesis, Genii, IGT, iSoftBet, Lightning Box, Nektan, NextGen, Microgaming, Play’n GO, PlayTech, Pragmatic Play, Push Gaming, Realistic Games, Skillzgaming, Yggdrasil, 2 by 2 Gaming og Big Time Gaming.
Et bredt samarbeid er et smart og strategisk valg. Det sikrer at casinoet hele tiden kan tilby spillerne mange nye spill. Det sikrer også at det blir god variasjon i porteføljen av spill. Dermed skulle selv den mest kresne casinospiller finne et spill eller to som faller i smak. Om ikke finner man det neppe et annet sted heller.
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Spilleautomater – 1100 spill å velge mellom

Tilbudet av spilleautomater er enormt hos Leo Vegas Norge. Det er nesten 1100 forskjellige spill i denne kategorien. Det inkluderer massevis av videoautomater samt jackpotter og klassiske automater. At utvalget er stort er jo ikke overraskende tatt i betraktning samarbeidet med mange tilbydere. Samtidig ser det jo heller ikke ut til at casinospillere kan få nok av slots. Med mange spill å velge mellom vil man slite voldsomt for å ikke finne noe som faller i smak.
Hos Leo Vegas Norge finner man spilleautomater med forskjellig utseende. Fra de klassiske som mange kjenner igjen fra arkader og kiosker til helt moderne automater med mange farger og flott utseende. Automater med tematikk fra film, musikk, norrøn mytologi og dyrenes verden.
Med mange automater er det også stor forskjell på hvordan de er oppbygd. Fra klassiske automater med få hjul og gevinstlinjer til nye moderne slots med flere hjul, rader og enormt mange gevinstlinjer. Samt muligheter for ekstra spinn og bonusspill.
Casinoseksjonen byr på mange kjente travere fra de største leverandørene. Her finner man folkekjære spill som Starburst, Book of Dead, Wild Toro og Gonzo’s Quest.

Jackpot slots – vinn stort på over 70 jackpotspill

Når det kommer til jakt på store gevinster er Leo Vegas Norge med over 70 jackpot-automater et godt valg. Det gir mange muligheter til å vinne en livsendrende gevinst.
I casinoet kjenner man raskt igjen populære jackpot-automater som Mega Fortune, Mega Fortune Dreams, Mega Moolah og Mega Moolah ISIS. Samt populære norske jokerautomater som Mega Joker, Joker Millions og Empire Fortune. Automater som har gitt både store og megastore gevinster.
Det spesielle med jackpot-automatene er at de kan gi astronomiske gevinster. Forutsetningen er at ingen vinner jackpotten på en stund. Automater med progressive jackpotter er bygd slik at hver gang noen spiller på den, legges en gitt andel til jackpotten. Det gjelder alle som spiller på den konkrete automaten. Det er dermed ikke begrenset til hvert enkelt nettcasino. Slikt blir det raskt penger av. Går det tid mellom hver gang noen vinner jackpotten, kan beløpet bli stort. Og det vokser kontinuerlig helt til noen vinner jackpotten.
Jackpot-automatene skiller seg ikke fra andre spilleautomater med unntak av pengene som legges til side. Tematikk og design er likt og man spiller på samme måte.
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Spill blackjack hos Leo Vegas Norge Casino

Setter man pris på det populære bordspillet blackjack er det mye å glede seg over hos Leo Vegas. Casinoseksjonen byr på 22 forskjellige varianter. Det betyr mange muligheter til å slå dealeren. Og til å oppnå 21. For det er det det stort sett handler om. Å få en lucky 21. Reglene for spillet er enkle. Derfor er det populært når man vil prøve lykken på noe annet enn spilleautomater.
Blant blackjack-spillene hos Leo Vegas finner man standard blackjack, Lucky Lucky Blackjack, Suit ‘Em Up Blackjack, Lucky Ladies Blackjack, Double Xposure og Perfect Pairs Blackjack. Videre spill som Buster Blackjack, American Blackjack, 21+3 Blackjack og 6 in 1 Blackjack. Spill som er enkle å forstå selv om noen har en liten vri i forhold til standardreglene. De krever ikke nødvendigvis den tykkeste lommeboken heller.
Er man ikke opptatt av lommeboken så har casinoet flere blackjack-spill som passer godt for storspillere. Single Deck Blackjack Pro High Limit, Blackjack Professional, Blackjack Pro High Limit og Blackjack Professional VIP er spill som er tilpasset spillere som gjerne satser litt når de befinner seg ved blackjack-bordet.

Roulette

Et annet populært bordspill er roulette. Hos Leo Vegas Norge er det elleve varianter av dette spillet. Det er mange regler i roulette så det er ingen fordel å ankomme bordet uten å ha satt seg inn i disse. Det finnes mange strategier for spillingen også, og det er mange som benytter en av disse når de spiller. Uansett valg av strategi må man likevel ha hellet med seg siden det er helt tilfeldig hvor kulen ligger når hjulet slutter å spinne.
Blant roulette-spillene som Leo Vegas Norge tilbyr finner man standard roulette samt flere varianter av både europeisk og fransk roulette. Amerikansk roulette tilbys også.
Den beste strategien for å øke sjansen for gevinst når man spiller roulette er å holde seg unna den amerikanske varianten, og gå for de franske eller europeiske. Der er huset fordel mindre siden de kun har en null mens de amerikanske bordene har to nuller.
For storspillere eller såkalte high rollers finnes spill som Roulelette VIP og French Roulette VIP. Dette er utgaver av spillet som virkelig lar spillerne satse mye per runde om de ønsker det.
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Live Casino

For å kjenne på den ekte casinofølelsen uten å være i et fysisk casino, er Live Casinoet til Leo Vegas Norge stedet. Det er enormt. Der er utvalget av kort- og bordspill stort. Derfor er det ingen grunn til å dra til Monte Carlo eller Las Vegas. Kommer man ikke i god casinostemning i Live Casionet til Leo Vegas er det ikke deres feil. Der er det en omfattende meny med mange menyvalg alt etter hva man er ute etter. I Live Casinoet spiller man mot imøtekommende, smilende og velkledde dealere. Mange sjanser for chatting med medspillere får man også.
Leo Vegas Norge har mange spill som er felles med andre casinoer, men også eksklusive spill som man kun finner der. I casinoets Chambre Séparée er det ti eksklusive spill med roulette og blackjack. Ellers bys på rikelige sjanser for gevinster i både baccarat, poker, blackjack, roulette og på lykkehjulet Dream Catcher. Hvor mye man spiller for per runde er opp til en selv. Spennvidden er fra 1 krone til 200 000 kroner.
Spillene i Live Casinoet leveres av spillutviklerne NetEnt, Evolution Gaming og Extreme Live Gaming. Det betyr brukervennlige bord, flott grafikk og upåklagelig livestream og lyd. Dette er også utviklere som har spill for alle typer spillere. Dermed spiller det ingen rolle om man er litt forsiktig med hvor mye man spiller, eller om man ikke har særlig fokus på det. Det blir uansett en flott casinoopplevelse selv om man sitter i godstolen hjemme.
Vil man prøve noe utover alle live-bordene fra de tre nevnte tilbyderne, får man det hos Leo Vegas Norge. Man kan nemlig knytte seg opp til bordene ved flere fysiske landbaserte casinoer. Eksempler er Dragonara på Malta og St. Vincent i Italia. Dermed befinner man seg plutselig på en øy i Middelhavet eller nord i Italia uten å være det.

Slik får du live casino bonus hos Leo Vegas Norge Casino

Hos Leo Vegas er det slik at man kan motta en bonus i Live Casinoet i forbindelse med at man blir ny spiller. Når man registrerer seg kan man få 100 kroner gratis til benyttelse i Live Casinoet. Det er ikke nødvendig å gjøre et innskudd, det holder med å åpne en konto. Det er en fin måte å bli litt bedre kjent i Live Casinoet uten at man risikerer egne penger.
Frister det med mer kan man velge å ta imot velkomsttilbudet i denne seksjonen. For det første innskuddet på minst 100 kroner vil man da få dette i Live Casinoet:
  • To bonuser på 100 prosent opptil 2000 kroner
Både gratispengene og bonusen kommer med et omsetningskrav på 40 ganger før eventuelle gevinster kan tas ut. Dette høres muligens høyt ut for erfarne casinospillere, men det som skiller Leo Vegas fra andre casino er at når du spiller i dette casinoet vil du først spille med ditt eget innskudd, før du spiller med bonuspenger. Så om du vinner en gevinst mens du spiller med dine egne penger, er alle gevinster dine.
Ønsker man flere bonuser i Live Casinoet må man følge med og benytte anledningen i forbindelse med diverse kampanjer som kan gi dette.

Odds og betting hos Leo Vegas Norge

Når det kommer til sport er Sportsbooken hos Leo Vegas uslåelig. Der er det mye for de som elsker sportsbetting. Det betyr mange muligheter for spill på både odds og live odds. Det første betyr spill til odds som er satt før idrettsbegivenheten starter. Det andre gir enda mer engasjement siden det er odds man kan sette når en sportsbegivenhet pågår.
De aller fleste idrettene er på plass i sportsseksjonen. Det betyr alt fra store idretter som fotball, vintersport, hest, tennis og motorsport til mindre idretter som dart, snooker og sjakk. Leo Vegas har alle de store turneringene, mesterskapene og ligaene. I tillegg så byr Sportsbooken på resultatoversikt og live streaming.
Det kan også spilles på noe annet enn sport. Bookmakere gir jo muligheter til spill på så mangt. Leo Vegas Norge tilbyr blant annet politikk hvor man kan vedde på vinnere av nasjonale valg og presidentvalg. Du kan for eksempel sette odds på kommunevalget i Norge 2019, eller om the blir No Deal Brexit. Andre alternativer er valutakurser, TV-show, musikkonkuranser og prisutdelinger. Om du anser deg selv som en TV-ekspert, hva med å sette odds på hvilken TV-serie som går av med den gjeve prisen for beste dramaserie hos Emmy Awards 2019.
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Oddsbonus

Nye spillere som er mest opptatt av sportsbetting kan velge å ta velkomsttilbudet i Sportsbooken. Faktisk får man 100 % opptil 3000 kr. Denne bonusen må omsettes 4 ganger til minst 1.80 i odds.
Frister det med mer etter at man har spilt på sport risikofritt, gjør man et innskudd og spiller for egne penger. Da tildeles man velkomsttilbudet i sportsseksjonen hos Leo Vegas Norge. Det betyr at man mottar 2 gratisspill. For å kvalifisere for disse to gratisspillene er betingelsen at det spilles for minst 100 kroner til minst 1.8 i odds den første gangen man spiller for egne penger i oddsseksjonen.

Se kampene med live streaming

Ønsker man å følge med live etter at man har spilt på et idrettarrangement, er sportsseksjonen til Leo Vegas Norge er godt sted. Der kan man bli værende i Sportsbooken og se på avgjørelsen. Der kan man se mange live sendinger eller live streaming. Enten det er en fotballkamp, tennismatch eller en kamp fra VM i ishockey tilbyr Leo Vegas dette til sportsinteresserte gjester.
Enkelt å se er det også. Man finner idrettsarrangementet under Live streaming i oddsseksjonens meny. Deretter er det bare å trykke på play-knappen. Er man ikke innlogget må man deretter gjøre det. Så er det bare å nyte sendingen.

Spill hos Leo Vegas fra mobil og nettbrett

Når det kommer til løsninger for mobile enheter har Leo Vegas Norge aldri sovet i timen, men fulgt med på den teknologiske utviklingen. Der i gården har nettsider med responsivt design aldri vært et fremmedord. Helt siden starten i 2012 har det vært fokus på å gi gjestene det beste innenfor mobilcasino. Rett og slett å være nummer 1 på mobilspilling. Dette ble blant annet anerkjent med tildelingen av Mobile Operator of the Year under EGR Nordic Awards 2016.
Casinoets innovative løsninger gir håndholdt underholdning som er uanstrengt uansett hvilken enhet man benytter. Dette skyldes banebrytende fordeler som elektrisk tempo, intuitiv kontroll og det flotte utvalget som tilbys av casinospill. Dermed er det duket for mye moro uansett hvor man befinner seg i verden. Det eneste man behøver er god nettdekning.
Spill via mobile enheter er enkelt uansett hvilken nettleser og operativsystem man benytter. Det er ikke nødvendig med nedlasting av programvare. Om man ønsker kan man laste ned Leo Vegas sin app for Android og IOS. Med casinoets prisbelønte Best Native App ved EGR Marketing and Innovation Awards 2017 får man en verdensledende spillopplevelse rett i håndflaten uansett hvilken avdeling man befinner seg i. Opplevelsen blir intuitiv, innovativ og øyeblikkelig.
Det betyr lynraske hastigheter og fine opplevelser på mer enn 1000 spilleautomater takket være samarbeidet med alle partnerne. Det betyr alt fra traveren Starburst til de heteste nyhetene. Innenfor sportsbetting betyr det en lynrask Sportsbook som er effektiv, engasjerende og lett å navigere på. Og så kommer man til den ekte opplevelsen i Live Casinoet. Det betyr live streaming fra luksuriøse og eksklusive steder rett i hånden. Håndholdt Live Casino i HD som man sjelden har opplevd tidligere. På mobilen eller en annen touchskjerm får man et bredt spekter av live bordspill hvor man opplever forskjellen fra hva de fleste andre tilbyr.
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Innskudd og uttak hos Leo Vegas

Når det kommer til finansielle transaksjoner er det mange som kjenner på en viss usikkert. Spesielt om man skal betale til en ny aktør. Kommer pengene inn på riktig konto? Og ikke minst får man tatt ut pengene igjen? Det er jo ikke rart at man kjenner på denne uroen. Noe nytt skaper alltid en viss form for usikkerhet. Hos Leo Vegas Norge kan man nyte spillingen og slappe helt av. Der er det ikke noe tull. Casinoet tar sikkerheten til kundene sine på ramme alvor. Alle betalinger skjer med moderne og sikker SSL-kryptering. Dermed kommer ikke innskudd og uttak på avveie.
Før man kan ta ut penger må man verifisere kontoen med godkjent legitimasjon. Dette er for å sikre at pengene utbetales til riktig person. Samt at spillingen ikke er en del av kriminell aktivitet som hvitvasking av penger.
Når man først er verifisert vil alle senere uttak av gevinster gå mye raskere unna. Hvor raskt man får pengene kommer an på hvilken betalingsmetode som benyttes ved uttak. Casinoet prøver uansett å ekspedere alle anmodninger om utbetalinger så raskt som mulig. Bruker man elektroniske lommebøker er pengene tilgjengelig nesten med en gang. Må utbetalingen foretas via bankoverføring kan det ta inntil 5 dager.
For innskudd er det ingen krav til minstebeløp hos Leo Vegas. Imidlertid kan det være at kortutstederen krever et gebyr, og da kan dette bli uforholdsmessig stort om man bare setter inn en hundrelapp.
Når det kommer til uttak er det minste man kan ta ut hos Leo Vegas 200 kroner. I løpet av 30 dager kan man foreta inntil 3 gebyrfrie uttak. Gjør man flere uttak innenfor dette tidsvinduet påløper det et gebyr på 30 kroner per uttak. De som har nådd nivå 30 i VIP-programmet kan foreta så mange uttak de bare ønsker. De vil uansett være gratis.

Oversikt over betalingsmetoder

Leo Vegas Norge tilbyr de mest vanlige betalingsmetodene. I utgangspunktet benyttes samme løsning ved uttak som ved innskudd. Er ikke dette teknisk mulig blir uttaket som oftest ordnet med bankoverføring. Hos Leo Vegas kan det velges blant disse metodene:
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  • PaysafeCard
  • Neteller
  • Skrill
  • Skrill Rapid Transfer
  • Bankoverføring
  • Trustly
  • MuchBetter
  • ecoPayz
Husk at det varierer hvilke metoder som er tilgjengelige for norske spillere – da den siste tidens restriktive politikk fra den norske stat har gjort det vanskelig for norske spillere å ta ut sine lovlige gevinster som de har vunnet på casino. Leo Vegas jobber kontinuerlig for å finne nye og gode betalingsmuligeter for akkurat norske spillere.
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Kundeservice

De aller fleste gangene man gjester Leo Vegas forløper nok besøket uten problemer av noe slag. Det er jo slik det skal være, man er jo der for å hygge seg. Dog kan det være at det er noe man lurer på. Da er Leo Vegas sin FAQ et greit sted å begynne. Der har casinoet samlet de mest vanlige problemstillingene. FAQ-en er omfattende så man finner mest sannsynlig svar på det meste man lurer på.
Finner man ikke svaret der eller om det skulle oppstå et akutt problem, er det godt med teamet på kundeservice. Det består av dyktige medarbeidere som gjør alt de kan for å hjelpe. På kundesupport er det alltid folk tilstede. Det betyr at man får hjelp og assistanse døgnet rundt. Enten det er påske, 17. mai eller jul. Teamet hjelper til slik at man kan fortsette med det man ønsket, nemlig underholdende spilling.
Folkene på support kan kontaktes via e-post, Live Chat eller telefon. Det raskeste er telefon og chat. På e-post tilstrebes det å svare innen 24 timer.
Fra klokken 8 om morgenen og helt frem til klokken 02 er det hjelp å få på norsk. Resten av døgnet er kundestøtten på svensk og engelsk.

Forsvarlig spilling med LeoSafePlay

Hos Leo Vegas ønsker man at gjestene skal kose seg, spille og ha det hyggelig hver gang man er på besøk. Rett og slett at spillingen ikke skal ta overhånd og at man ikke er i casinoet for å bli rik. Fokuset med ansvarlig spilling er en viktig del av identiteten til Leo Vegas Norge. Derfor har de etablert LeoSafePlay. Målet med dette er å gi nyttig og praktisk informasjon om identifisering og håndtering av spilleavhengighet. Samt hindre spill blant mindreårige. LeoSafePlay gjenspeiler viljen og arbeidet som gjøres for å ta ansvar for spillerne og bransjen i sin helhet. Verktøy er rett og slett en nyttig ressurs for alle som ønsker informasjon om hvordan man unngår spilleavhengighet og spill blant mindreårige.

Stolt sponsor av Brentford Football Club, Leicester Tigers og Norwich

Hos Leo Vegas er de opptatt av å gi tilbake. Dette ser man blant annet gjennom sponsing av idrettslag. Nettcasinoet er stolt hovedsponsor av flere kjente idrettsklubber. Dette er Brentford Football Club og Leicester Tigers. I tillegg kommer fotballklubben Norwich som kanskje er best kjent blant nordmenn. Den er på nivå to i England og har også nordmenn på laget.
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submitted by freespinsbonus to u/freespinsbonus [link] [comments]

After reading the book, I watched "Came a Hot Friday"

Widely regarded as one of the greatest of New Zealand's films (and rightly so, I think), this is a comic romp set in post WWII rural New Zealand. It's directed by Ian Mune, whose name should ring a bell to anyone who knows the NZ film scene.
Wes and Cryil (Peter Bland and Philip Gordon) are a pair of chancers trying to make money on a scam called "Past Posting" where a bet is placed on a horse race that has already run. This worked in 1949 when few races were broadcast. One watches the race live and phones the pub where his accomplice is and relays a coded message, who places a big bet with the resident bookmaker (I think every pub had one in those days). The problem is that it needs a third accomplice to make it realistic due to the timing of the phone calls. The opening scene is one such bookie seeing through it and Wes having to make a quick getaway.
They head to the coastal Taranaki town of Tainuia (based on Hawera) where they hook up with Don Jackson, who is stuck in a dead-end car sales job and willing to get some excitement into his life.
Their scam is successful - for a time. Jackson makes two profitable bets but the bookie (Norm Cray) is suspect and forces him to blind bet on the third race - which he also wins through blind luck.
There are other plots just as important, but the big new character is The Tainuia Kid, played by the late Billy T. James. He's Maori but affects a Spanish accent (must confess that when I read the book I thought it was French). In the book I didn't think this character worked at all, but in the film he is key. The other plot is the town's big crim who has someone burn down a snooker hall as he's in up to his neck. The problem is the supposedly empty building wasn't and an innocent man dies in the fire.
The other plot concerns an illegal gambling den in a wool-shed, where Crown and Anchor is the game played. The trio retire there to parlay their winnings into even more. This joint is run by Sel Bishop, the man who had the billiard hall burned down. And Norm Cray suspects foul play in the winning bets. It doesn't go well on the table and they lose most all they won on the gee-gees. Wes's last big bet comes in (three anchors) but the rozzers raid the joint and he doesn't get the winnings. Even worse, Sel sets Norm Cray onto a helpless Wes.
In one my favourite scenes, the Crown and Anchor table flips over to become the wool classing table that was its original usage.
In the morning, Wes meets "The Tainuia Kid" who is no fan of Sel. The last third of the film is Wes trying to get revenge on Sel. This is my least favourite part of both book and film as the jokey tone turns serious.
It's based on the classic book of the same name by Ronald Hugh Morrieson, and it is well worth seeking out. It is of its time with outdated language and mores but I don't care about that. You can't and shouldn't rewrite history. He lived in Hawera his whole life. This adaptation is more comic than the book but quite close to the meaning. The actors playing Wes and Cyril are older than I imagined the characters from the book, but that might just be me. And there's little room in the film for Don's dad, a veteran of Gallipoli who lost a leg there and is finding his old digger mates are dying off and he's turning old and sour, though he's trying hard not to. He was my favourite character in the book, but I can see how he's not suitable for a big part in what is essentially a comic adaptation.
A final mention to the wonderful rural New Zealand locations that were shot. I love the small towns and landscapes from back then.
submitted by widmerpool_nz to newzealand [link] [comments]

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submitted by freespinsgaming to u/freespinsgaming [link] [comments]

Casino

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submitted by Altruistic_Sky1866 to AvakinOfficial [link] [comments]

I Watched "Came a Hot Friday" (1985)

Widely regarded as one of the greatest of New Zealand's films (and rightly so, I think), this is a comic romp set in post WWII rural New Zealand. It's directed by Ian Mune, whose name should ring a bell to anyone who knows the NZ film scene.
Wes and Cryil (Peter Bland and Philip Gordon) are a pair of chancers trying to make money on a scam called "Past Posting" where a bet is placed on a horse race that has already run. This worked in 1949 when few races were broadcast. One watches the race live and phones the pub where his accomplice is and relays a coded message, who places a big bet with the resident bookmaker (I think every pub had one in those days). The problem is that it needs a third accomplice to make it realistic due to the timing of the phone calls. The opening scene is one such bookie seeing through it and Wes having to make a quick getaway.
They head to the coastal Taranaki town of Tainuia (based on Hawera) where they hook up with Don Jackson, who is stuck in a dead-end car sales job and willing to get some excitement into his life.
Their scam is successful - for a time. Jackson makes two profitable bets but the bookie (Norm Cray) suspects a scam and forces him to blind bet on the third race - which he also wins through pure luck.
There are other plots just as important, but the big new character is The Tainuia Kid, played by the late Billy T. James. He's Maori but affects a Spanish accent (must confess that when I read the book I thought it was French). In the book I didn't think this character worked at all, but in the film he is key. The other plot is town's big crim who has someone burn down a snooker hall as he's in up to his neck. The problem is the supposedly empty building wasn't and an innocent man dies in the fire.
The other plot concerns an illegal gambling den in a wool-shed, where Crown and Anchor is the game played. The trio retire there to parlay their winnings into even more. This joint is run by Sel Bishop, the man who had the snooker hall burned down. And Norm Cray suspects foul play in the winning bets. It doesn't go well on the table and they lose most all they won on the gee-gees. Wes's last big bet comes in (three anchors) but the rozzers raid the joint and he doesn't get the winnings. Even worse, Sel sets Norm Cray onto a helpless Wes.
In one my favourite scenes, the Crown and Anchor table flips over to become the wool classing table that it was in its original usage.
In the morning, Wes meets "The Tainuia Kid" who is no fan of Sel. The last third of the film is Wes trying to get revenge on Sel. This is my least favourite part of both book and film as the jokey tone turns serious.
It's based on the classic book of the same name by Ronald Hugh Morrieson, and it is well worth seeking out. It is of its time with outdated language and mores but I don't care about that. You can't and shouldn't rewrite history. He lived in Hawera his whole life. This adaptation is more comic than the book but quite close to the meaning. The actors playing Wes and Cyril are older than I imagined the characters from the book, but that might just be me. And there's little room in the film for Don's dad, a veteran of Gallipoli who lost a leg there and is finding his old digger mates are dying off and he's turning old and sour, though he's trying hard not to. He was my favourite character in the book, but I can see how he's not suitable for a big part in what is essentially a comic adaptation.
A final mention to the wonderful rural New Zealand locations that were shot. I love the small towns and landscapes from back then.
submitted by widmerpool_nz to iwatchedanoldmovie [link] [comments]

OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Breaking Bad, Part 2

Continuing
The flight continued along as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Nary a bump or jostle. Hours later, I was playing with the in-flight entertainment system when Major Nak awoke.
I toasted him with a fresh drink and asked if he felt fully functional.
“Doctor?”, he asked, “Have you slept at all?”
“On the flight? Nah.”, I replied, “I slept well last night. Besides, this flight’s been fascinating.”
“Do you always drink like that?” he asks.
“Of course not!”, I replied, indignantly, “Sometimes, I really twist off and tie one on.”
“Seriously?” he asks, shocked.
“Major, I’ll let you I on a little secret.”, I said in confidence, “I’m a member of a certain class of unusual creatures; I’m an ethanol-fueled carbon-based organism. Many other geologists are as well. We tend to be drawn to that particular science.”
He stares at me with a look that is a cross between incredulity and “you fuckin’ with me?”
“You’re not normal…”, was his only reply as he shook his head.
“Not by a long shot!”, I laugh, drain my drink, and signal for another.
After one arrives, Major Nak stumbles to the head. A few minutes later, the annunciator notes that we are on the flight path to Bhavnagar Airport and should be landing in 20 minutes.
Another drink and beer chaser later, we’re buckled into our seats and on final approach. We land light as a feather without a crosswind, a perfect three-point touchdown. We taxi for a bit and stop out on the tarmac, next to a large non-descript gray-colored four-door sedan.
We begin to deplane and I see my luggage being loaded into the sedan already. Before I get off the plane, I am asked for my passport. The steward of the flight stamps it and welcomes me to India.
Off to the sedan and I see it’s larger than most usual 4-door types. It’s a minor limo of sorts, with rear and front-facing seats, like an old London taxi, except one wall is taken up with a fold-out bar.
Oh, I’m going to like this job.
I am instructed to sit in the back. Major Nak is sitting up front, working on papers of some sort.
I am told the travel time to Alang, the place where I’ll be staying, is approximately one to one and a half hours. I am asked to please make myself comfortable and if I desire, there is a humidor on the back forward-facing seat. I am to help myself to that and the bar, and enjoy the ride.
Which I did. The scenery was your bog-standard usual coastal highway sort of stuff, moderately interesting for the first 5 minutes, then it just sort of blurs together.
I sampled the humidor and most of the bottles in the bar while we wound our way south to Alang. It was getting late in the afternoon, so it was decided that I would be taken to the “Raj”, the company’s corporate house for when high-ranking business types, visitors, and guests arrive for more than a single overnight.
Alang is a company town, and that company is the Ship Breaker’s. It’s a fairly common sort of one-industry town; kind of shabby, kind of old, kind of desperate. It’s not horrible like some oil towns in West Siberia, Venezuela, or West Africa; but it’s no Paris, Texas either. There are some green areas, quite a slew of shops selling sea-sailing ship-sourced stuff, and a few residences.
We travel along and I can smell the diesel, dejection, and desperation in the air. This place is an area of low wages, hard work, little to no environmental or HSE controls, and throngs of men wanting to work. This is going to be some kind of experience.
We wheel around a well-planted and manicured corner and arrive at the “Raj”. It is a colonial-era, how can I put it? It’s a fucking mansion. Situated behind security fences on grounds of approximately 4 acres, at least. It’s an Edwardian or Georgian pile some four stories thick. There is a security shack out front and even Major Nak has to show his ID in order to enter.
They take my photo, particulars, and have me sign-in. Looks like I’ll be the only VIP staying here for the duration of my contract. However, I certainly won’t be alone.
There are butlers, cooks, chauffeurs, maids, and other forms of domestic help. And they are all there just to make my stay as pleasant as possible.
We drive into the compound, for the lack of a better term, come to a thick security door where the driver punches in a code and we are allowed to enter the underground parking facility. There are several security vehicles parked down here, a couple of motorcycles that I intend to ask to borrow. Before we went underground, I saw at least two teams of security forces patrolling the grounds with huge Alsatian dogs.
“Is all this security really necessary?” I asked Major Nak.
“Better safe than sorry”, he bewilderingly replies.
“OK”, I reply, “Thanks for the clear-cut answer.”
He smiles and confides that they’ve never had any trouble here, but since it’s where VIPs and corporate shills stay, they make a brave noise to dissuade anyone with evil on their mind. Shipbreaking is big business, with receipts measured annually in the billions of rupees. Yes, I agree, better safe than sorry.
We exit the sedan as two worker bees attend to my luggage. We are lead to an elevator and get in, take a quick ride due up, and exit on the main floor.
“Holy shit!”, I exclaim lowly. “This place is incredible.”
Full late 1800’s glory expressed in dark, thick hand-carved wood, leather, and dripping in opulence. It’s quite the sight, and it takes me a minute to realize that all this pomp and circumstance is being laid out for me. Now it’s Major Nak’s time to smile on my bewilderment. He asks me to walk with him as he needs to ‘introduce me to the staff’.
But first, a young lady appears, in a traditional maid’s outfit, and asks if I require anything.
“Loaded question”, I smile, “But I am a bit dry. If you could rustle me up a drink, I’d be beholden to you.”
She smiles and looks to Major Nak for a translation. He speaks in Hindi and she smiles wider and scurries off.
“What did you tell her?” I ask.
“That you’re American and can’t be expected to speak normal English”, he laughs, “Plus I told her of your favorite drink.”
“Why, thanks Major.”, I smile.
“Anytime, Doctor.”, he replies.
We walk along and the cute maid reappears with my drink. Major Nak is holding off and abstaining for the time being.
We walk along and meet the head of the household, the Majordomo, one Mr. Kanada. We exchange greetings.
“If you require anything, Doctor”, he tells me, “Please let me know. I have read your contract so when I say ‘anything’, that is precisely what is meant.”
“I will do that”, I reply and give him a hearty handshake in return.
Suddenly, a young male individual type appears. He looks very intent and earnest.
“Doctor Rocknocker?” He asks.
“Yes. And you are?”, I reply.
“I am Sanjay. I am your personal assistant while you are here in India.” He smiles back.
“Nice to meet you, Sanjay”, I reply, “What are your qualifications?”
I’m not messing around. I’m going to have a full tour on this job. He appears quite young but does have a good handle on English. At least English that I can understand.
“I hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Geology. I am going for my Master’s next semester, once this virus business is over with. I speak Hindi, Urdu, English, and some Russian. I carry a light, the time, and your favorite vodka. I am 100% at your disposal.” He smiles and hands me an airline-sized miniature of Blest Vodka; a local favorite.
I look at Major Nak, “Oh, I like him. Good choice.”
Sanjay beams. Major Nak smiles as well.
Major Nak continues, “Sanjay here can show you the rest of the house. If you’ll excuse me, I must be off to camp”.
“Most certainly, Major Nak. It’s been a pleasure.” I reply as we shake hands in a very manly fashion.
“I hope to see you before you leave, Doctor. Perhaps at the yards to see your progress. “ he notes.
“I look forward to that, Major.” I smile
He smiles to Sanjay, and does a briskly military about-face and disappears.
“Doctor Rocknocker”, Sanjay continues…
“Sanjay.”, I interrupt, “Call me ‘Rock’, it’ll save everyone a lot of time.”
“Oh, OK. Sure. Doct…um, Rock”, he says, as I smile back. “You must have made a big impression on Major Nak. He hardly talks to anyone he oversees.”
“Oversees?”, I smile, “OK, he seemed harmless enough. Affable chap. Can’t hold his liquor worth a shit though. But you’re not to say I said so. ..”
“Understood, Doc…Rock”, Sanjay smiles, “Let me show you the rest of the house. Let’s go to the basement first. “
“OK, fine. You lead and I’ll follow.” I replied.
The basement was one of wonders. A large heated and chilled pool, a sauna, fairly well kitted out gym, and a game room. The game room held a snooker table, a billiards table, a ping-pong table, and a Ms. PacMan table video game and a Galaga upright game. Vintage. Sweet.
There were cupboards full of ping-pong paddles, ping-pong balls, pool, and snooker cues, as well as the remotes for the sound system and large, flat-screen TV, with uncensored 7-satellite feed, hanging on one wall. There were several comfy chairs strewn around. This would be a nice place to relax after a long day of blowing the living shit out of old rusty boats.
“Nice”, I noted, “But no beer cooler or bar in the rec room?”
Sanjay smiled and motioned me to the elevator.
Moment.” was all he said. He did speak a bit of Russian.
We go up two floors and exit the elevator. One side of this floor was taken up with a huge library, complete with a huge antique harp, a very shiny black Steinway grand piano, hundreds if not thousands of books, and several large leather chairs and a couple of leather couches and ashtrays strewn about.
Another place to waste a modicum of time.
Then Sanjay points me north to the other side of the floor.
There was a huge bar, fully stocked, with about a dozen barstools in front. There were at least a dozen taps of Indian, British, and Indonesian beer. There were hundreds of bottles of non-repeating liquor. There was a large ice machine humming away in the corner, full bar glass set-up, wash station, and dishwasher under one corner of the bar. There were several under-bar coolers full of carbonated drinks, juices, and other potential mixers.
“We have two dedicated barmen at your disposal”, Sanjay smiled, “Or you can go ahead and use it self-serve if you desire.”
I look at the empty glass in my hand and decide we’ll go ahead and inaugurate it now and not bother to call the barmen.
Sanjay, eager to please, runs behind the bar and asks what I’d like.
“Well, since we’re in India”, I say, rubbing my chin, “Let’s start out with a nice IPA.”
“Certainly”, he replies, “Light or dark?” as they had two on tap.
“Oh, dark, I think.”, I said, “And since you’re back there, why not grab yourself one and get me 100 milliliters of the finest chilled house vodka.”
“Yes, Doctor!”, he smiled and fetched our drinks.
Sanjay and I spent an hour or two at the bar getting to know each other. Several times, house employees rolled through to see if I needed any dinner or a cigar or…
“Good lord”, I say to Sanjay after the fourth one in an hour was dismissed, “They keep this up and I might take them up on something off the menu.”
“I can arrange that”, Sanjay smirked.
“Thank you, no. That was a joke.”, I told him, “I’ve been married 39 years to the finest partner and deadliest crack shot this side of Annie Oakley. Besides, I have no desire for any of that sort of extracurricular shenanigans. It was a joke. Seriously.”
“Understood, Rock”, Sanjay said. “I’m not married, but I am engaged. I understand fully.”
“Good and congratulations”, I replied, “No need to get off on the wrong foot or anything.”
“Or anything?” Sanjay smirks and raises an eyebrow.
“Keep that up and I might just keep you on as my assistant.” I said, “You will need a good sense of humor before this all over.”
Sanjay quaffed his beer and smiled broadly.
After I had him get me another beer and asked for my room as I was needing a cigar. He pulled out a phone, dialed a few numbers, and Hindi’ed directly into the device for a minute.
“No worries, Rock”, he said, “One will be here directly.”
“Fine”, I replied, “Now Sanjay, this job is not all skittles and beer, if you take my meaning.”
“Oh, look. Your cigars have arrived.” He says, totally distracting me.
An ancient butler pushing a silver tea cart appears. On the cart is a very large humidor full of many different shades, shapes, and sizes of cigars.
I went to grab one when the butler stops me and tells me to make a selection.
“Oh, oh, oh! Very nice.” I say and point to a likely looking Oscuro Churchill.
He takes the cigar, carefully wipes it with fine cheesecloth, and asks what type of cut I like; V-cut, punch, or slant.
“Oh, V-cut, if you please,” I reply.
He V-cuts my cigar and with his with gloved hands, holds it out for me to inspect.
“Lovely,” I reply. I jam the cigar in my yap and start digging around the pockets of my field vest for my lighter.
He taps me on the shoulder and extends a lit piece of cedar bark. The ‘traditional’ British way of lighting a cigar.
After all that, he tells me his direct number is 214 and that if I need anything more to have one of the staff ring him. With that, he turns heel and exits without another word.
“Well”, I smirk, “That was weird.”
Sanjay just smiles and tells me to get used to it. They will do everything here for you if you allow them.
“Yeah, I’ll bet.”, I say, get up and pour myself a new beer. A ‘Tiger’ this time. I ask Sanjay if he’s ready for a refill and he tells me he’s good.
I grab another 100 milliliters of chilled Old Fornicator Vodka and sit back down at the bar.
“Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Can you be a hard ass, Sanjay? Can you tell your peers ‘no’?” I ask.
“Will I have to?” he asks.
“Yep.” I say, “Damn, this is a really fine cigar. But working with me, you best develop a thick skin and a hard head.”
“Oh, OK”, he says, obviously confused.
“Right.” I say, “Serious talk time. I’m the boss on this project. What I says, goes. No questions. Period. You’re my de facto second in command. We are here to teach 24 of your comrades how to blast boats to smithereens and how to train the next set of like-minded individuals. This is a step up for them, every one. It means more money, more security, more prestige. I need only 24 and from what I hear, there’s what, up to 30,000 workers here? Guess what? That means a lot that are going to go home disappointed. They might hold that against me and you, Me? I don’t give the tiniest shit. But I’m going to leave after a couple of weeks. You’re here for the duration and going to take over my spot. Some of these characters might get shirty and decide to tap dance on your head if you tell them no. You have to be ready for that. Can you deal with that situation?”
Sanjay just sits there and looks intently at the finely polished hardwood floor.
“This is old hat for me,” I tell him. “I’ve had to tell some good friends that they weren’t picked for the job or contract. It’s business. And some have been less than adult about how they handled the rejection. There have been threats, usually hollow and empty. There have been altercations, usually unimportant. There have been fights with bloodied noses, broken arms, and police reports. But in the end, I had to stick to my guns. You ready for that, young Mr. Sanjay?”
“Thank you, Doctor Rock…”, he replies, “I never thought about it that way. But, yes, I think I can handle that situation if it arises. It’s business like you say and I am able to defend myself.”
“That’s good”, I reply, “At least physically. What about mentally? You might have to tell a good friend to get stuffed; in a nice manner, of course.”
“I think so.”, he replied, “I’ll follow your lead over the next couple of weeks. Call it ‘on the job training’.”
“Mr. Sanjay”, I say, “I do think you’ll do.”
We talk a bit more and I decide that after one more round of drinks, I’ll call 214, grab a couple of cigars and have Sanjay show me my room.
On the way down the long hall, Sanjay is smiling in a weird sort of way.
“OK, give,” I say.
“No, no yet. Wait until you see your room.” He snickers.
Now I’m worried.
We come to a large, polished, and engraved oak door. He produces a key from out of the depths of a Stephan King novel, twists it in the lock, and the door silently swings open.
“Holy shit!”, I exhale.
The room is enormous.
En suite bathroom where one could hold an Olympics meet in the Jacuzzi. American Standard bog, flanked on either side by bidets. Twin sinks, a shower with tropical, right out of the ceiling rainfall, or the new waterfall shower design. Or both. With steam function. Not boiling water, but live steam like any sauna.
“I could get to like this”, I mutter.
The room is fully carpeted with tapestries on the walls. A large, Victorian oak desk is over on one side, with a very nice dual-screen computer work station at my disposal. There is a note with my login and password in the leather-bound legal pad on the ergonomic computer chair before it. There is a huge flat-screen TV over on the other wall with the same 7-satellite feed as in the rec room.
“Whoa!” I say, “Data overload.”
My luggage is next to the built-in wardrobes. One houses a bespoke mini-bar.
“The maids would have put your clothes away”, Sanjay explains, “But they were locked. I can call them if you’d like.”
“Sure”, I reply, “Why not?” I see two of the aluminum cases that I marked “Careful: Scientific Instruments” are next to the computer workstation.
Two maids presently arrive and I unlock my luggage. They set to putting it away and are tsking that it needs to be pressed first.
“Perhaps later”, I said, “It’s been a day and I’m a bit knackered.”
“I will turn down your bed then”, one of the nubiles remarks.
Sanjay is now smiling way, way too broadly. I go through the door to the master bedroom.
“Holy shit squared,” I say.
There is a huge four-poster Edwardian? Georgian? bed. The carved wooden uprights are the diameter of telephone poles. I’m a pretty large person, but on this bed, I’ll need a personal transponder as its large enough for me to get lost. Easily 3x4 meters and the mattress is nice and firm, just the way I like it.
On top of the bed are blankets, a comforter, a quilt, an afghan, and more feather-stuffed keep-warms than I ever saw outside of Siberia. Under those, I’d sweat away to nothingness; but it looks so damned comfy.
The bed properly turned back, I thank the maid and make the noises like I want her to get the fuck out so I can get horizontal.
Sanjay notes that and has her and the other maid exit. All my clothes are put away, even my field vest I discarded when we walked into the room is tutted over and hung up.
“So, Rock?” he laughs, “What do you think?”
“I think if I didn’t have a serious job to do, I’d come down with some damned virus that would require me to stay home and socially distance myself.” I laugh.
“Sorry, but work begins tomorrow. What time would you like for me to ring you?” he asks.
“Right”, I said, “About that. I want to be on the job at 0600. Not leaving here at 0600, not wheels up at 0600. I want to be ready to select my 24 candidates beginning at 0600 tomorrow. I leave that to you. When do we need to leave, so when do I need to be rung up?”
“I’ll call you at… 0430…?” he cautiously says.
“Fine.” I reply, “Make certain that the notices I sent were posted. I want my 100 applicants ready and on-site spot-on 0600. I’ll need a large black coffee in a travel mug. Green?”
“Green?” he asks.
“My shorthand for ‘are we in agreement?’” I say.
“Oh, yes. Rock. Very green. See you in the morning.” He says, shakes my hand and departs; but not before leaving me the room key.
I lock the door and strip down. A steamy shower and a couple of very well-appointed in-room mini-bar bourbons later, I’m going over Email. Seeing nothing that can’t wait until the next day or two, I flop into bed and immediately become a missing person.
The phone cheerily chirps at me at precisely 0430. If I had my Casull, that phone would be in another dimension. As it is, I drag my carcass to vertical, grab the phone, say “Thanks” and hang up.
A quick shower, a couple of shower sunrisers, and I’m feeling much better. Damn near human. I gather the day’s necessities, don my vest, and Stetson over my usual field outfit and toddle downstairs. I’m not 5 steps out of the room when the maids arrive with the intent of committing premeditated neatness in my room.
I wave to them, and gargle an obligatory “Morning”, and head down to the main floor.
I am greeted by Sanjay, who is holding a large metal thermal coffee travel mug for me.
“You are a gentleman, scholar, and life-saver”, I say to him.
He beams in the way-too-early morning light.
“Breakfast, Doctor?” he asks.
“Just coffee. I don’t want to eat too much these first few days. ‘Delhi belly’ and all that. Too much work to do.” I remonstrate.
“Understood.” Sanjay complies, “Cigar?”
“Yes, it is,” I say.
“I have brought along a box of them for you today,” he adds, smiling.
“Outstanding”, I say and sip my coffee. Surprisingly, it is of the Greenland variety.
“The driver is waiting. Anytime you are ready, Rock”, Sanjay informs me.
“Give me a few minutes,” I say as I review the morning edition of the Times of India. I was actually waiting for the fine coffee to take effect.
A few minutes later, we’re headed down the coast to the beach; right where the rubber hits the road. Or rather, the ships scrape the sand.
Alang is the biggest ship breaking facility in the world. There are more than 400 ship breaking platforms here. They break about 1,500 ships every year. At any time about 300 people can be working on a single ship. The total workforce here is 40,000 plus. There are complaints about the treatment of workers and their service conditions. Ships are broken down crudely by hand using the minimum machinery; typically oxygen lances and welding torches.
It’s a horror show. Huge, rusty, jagged pieces of ships everywhere. Puddles of every color, containing noxious chemicals of every description. Lead, organotins such as tributyltin in anti-fouling paints, polychlorinated organic compounds, by-products of combustion such as polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, dioxins, and furans are found in ships and pose a great danger to the environment and personnel.
There is a singular lack of PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) here. Thatched, woven palm-frond ‘hardhats’. Steel-toed sandals; if you grasp the irony. No coveralls, gloves nor much else. Ragged shorts, torn shirts, and car-tire soled sandals are the uniforms here.
Well, if there’s one thing I can do, it’s change this.
We wheel into an area containing a huge tent-like structure, a couple of Quonset huts, and a smattering of non-descript outbuildings. The place is swarming with workers. All male, all young, and all looking to be part of the chosen 24 today.
We park and I’m shown into the large tent-like structure. At the head of the tent are a table, a PA system microphone, and a desk where we can sit down and tally the day’s take.
“OK, Sanjay”, I say, “Time to work. Remember I sent ahead the qualifications I’m looking for in trainees?”
I had cabled ahead for them to pre-select 50 candidates, 175-225 pounds, 5’ 9” to 6’ 3”, preferably unmarried bachelors, which tend to be the best kind. They must be English reading and speaking. I need the larger guys to handle the physical demands of the job. They need to be within the height requirements as those are the heights my pre-ordered coveralls will fit. They must be fluent in spoken and written English as I don’t have time to learn Hindi.
There were easily 5 times that number milling about just outside.
“OK, here’s the deal”, I said, “Here are 100 numbered chits. You will pass them out to the first 100 gents outside that pass initial muster. That is their ticket inside. Pucker time. Think you can handle the throng?”
“I’ve got this, Rock”, he says, with a stalwart look.
“OK, but if you need help, you know where I am,” I reply.
I busy myself constructing a 10x10 grid on a sheet of paper. I number it 1 to 100. This will keep tabs on our candidates.
Behind me, on the wall, are 24 brass tokens, ‘chits’, about the size of a US$1 Silver Bullion coin, about 1.5 inches in diameter, numbered 1 to 24. They have a flat space for a name to be engraved upon. These are the coveted chits that enable a person to graduate out of the swill and into the ranks of blasterdom and eventual teaching.
Right now, they are the most coveted possession within hundreds of miles.
One by one, pre-selected individuals are filtering in and finding seats. Sanjay is doing quite the job, as so far, they all fill the bill nicely. Whether they pass or fail muster will be determined in the next couple of hours.
I sip my coffee and smoke my cigars. The room swells by the numbers. Soon, all the seats are taken and Sanjay rejoins me at the head podium.
“Good job, Mr. Sanjay”, I say, shaking his hand. “Let’s take a couple of minutes and then we shall begin, OK?”
He agrees. I head to the loo and he takes my coffee for a refill. We reappear a few minutes later and I grab the microphone for the PA system.
I key the mike, “Hello! Please, everyone, quiet down and pay attention!”
Very few replies much less capitulation.
Sanjay stands and shouts something in Hindi.
The room goes deathly silent.
“Remind me to ask you to teach me that,” I say and return to the job at hand.
“Gentlemen. Welcome to the selection board for Blaster’s Assistants. If you are not here for that particular position, the exit’s to the rear.”
No one moves, except to shift to pay me more attention.
“OK. Great. I am Dr. Rocknocker, the headmaster of this special education class. I am the boss. The hookin’ bull. The head cheese. I am the Maharaja of this project. What I says, goes. I am an American, I am a geologist, and I don’t tolerate tomfoolery or bullshit from anyone. I say jump, you say ‘how high’? I say shit and you ask ‘what color’? You will follow my instructions implicitly, without question. Are we in agreement?” I ask.
There are a few feeble “Yeah’s”, and “OK’s” that drift up out of the crowd.
“Gentlemen. I am an American, as I said, and I’m old, weary, and slightly hard of hearing. I don’t expect you to use your indoor voice around me. You answer so I can hear you, loud and clear. Understand?”
“Yes.” Comes a few half-hearted attempts.
“GOD DAMN IT! I’m the fuckin’ deaf one. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?
“Yes, Doctor!” came the reply.
“What? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
YES, DOCTOR!” came the thunderous response.
“Outstanding,” I reply.
There were some snickers and chuckles in the crowd. It was time to toughen up the crowd and see if I can thin the ranks early.
“Gentlemen! Your attention.” I roar.
I had their attention.
I hold up my gloved left hand. I rip off the glove and show everyone my physical deformity. There were gasps, groans, and a couple of less hearty souls bolting for the door.
“I received this in a Russian rig accident years ago. It was not from a blasting accident. I’ve never had one and don’t intend on starting now. If this bothers you, leave. This is me and I’m the instructor.” I announced. “That fact will not change.”
Physical deformities here really scare some folks. I figured I’d get this out of the way straight off, and that would be one less thing to worry about. We lost three with that revelation.
“Groovy,” I said as I replace my glove.
“Now, we will begin the final selection. You all have your numbered tokens, one through a hundred. If you thought because you had a low number, you’d be first, forget it. I have a random number generator application on my phone, set from one to one hundred. And the first number is number…Lucky 13! Lucky 13. Come forward, front and center, and be recognized.” I say.
Sanjay is seated next to me with our book of the job. He’ll be handling secretarial duties whilst I do the interviewing.
“Your token?” I ask.
The young gent hands me lucky number 13.
“Fine.” I say, “Name?”
Name go in book.
“Age? Company number? Years with the company? Married? If so, children?”
All data goes into the book in the proper zones.
I ask a few questions about the job, to make sure they know what they’re in for.
“How’s your English?” I ask.
“I speaks it very goodly”, was the reply.
“Marvelous.”
I pick up this month’s Journal of Explosives Engineering monthly and hand it to him.
“Page 22. Read the first paragraph, please.” I instruct him.
He fumbles with the magazine, counts singly to page 22, and tries to read some random, but not first, paragraph.
I retrieve the magazine, thank him, and tell him we’ll be in touch.
Everyone and I mean everyone, chosen or not, will be personally told of their results.
I mean, it’s only right and fair. It’s the way I’ve done business for 40 years and it’s worked pretty well so far.
Candidates number 9, 57, and 42 results in much the same way.
“Number 77!” I call.
He lopes up to the podium.
“Your token, please,” I say
He hands it over.
We gather the information and he’s unmarried and without children.
How refreshing.
I hand him the journal and ask him to read the last paragraph on page 52.
“iRing has announced, “a breakthrough technology in ring design for underground mines” that uses a completely new blast design model. The development of this innovative blasting technique uses a unit charge and stress reflection methodology in conjunction with electronic detonators to design ring patterns with the objective of transforming underground blasting operations into primary crushing operations.”
“Your name again?” I ask
“I am Waazir Naidu.” He replies.
“Mr. Naidu, welcome aboard,” I say as I hand him his brass token. “You are trainee number one. Do not lose your token. It is your key up out of the swill.”
He smiles broadly and turns to the crowd to display his brass letter of acceptance. There are growls from the crowd, as well as a smattering of applause.
“We will reconvene in Outbuilding #2 at 1300 hours. See you there.” I say and shake his hand.
He’s all beaming smiles as he almost literally floats out the door.
We spent the rest of the morning thinning the herd. There were some judgment calls, but by 1130 hours, we were down to two candidates and one last brass token.
“Number 79!” I call.
He approaches, we do the usual and get his information.
“Please read paragraph three on page…oh, I don’t know, 31.”
He fumbles with the magazine a while and stutters and stammers somewhat.
“OK, thanks.” I say, “We’ll let you know.”
“OK, number 5! The best and last number 5!”
“About time!’ He scowls.
“Excuse me?” I said.
“You really are deaf, Yankee benchod.” He sneers quietly; but loud enough for me to hear.
He figures he’s a shoo-in; last number called, last chit on the board.
“Sanjay, a moment,” I ask.
“This “benchod”? Not a term of endearment, I take it?”
“Ah, no”, he stammers.
“And it means?” I ask.
“You don’t want to know.” Sanjay hopefully replies.
“But, yes, I do. I insist.” I reply.
“It means colloquially ‘motherfucker’. ‘Sister fucker’ literally.” He splutters.
“Hmmm. OK. A new term for my dictionary. Fine. Let us continue.”
Name, age, etc. all go in book.
I hand him the magazine. He almost rips it from my hands.
“OK, please read the ad on page 55. All of it.” I instruct.
He flips the magazine to page 55. There’ a half-page ad in Russian for a new form of blasting cap super-boosters.
“I can’t read that.” He complains.
“Well, then me ol’ mucker; looks like you’re just shit out of luck. Good day.” I say.
“Sanjay”, I say, “Go outside and find number 79. He’s our last candidate trainee.”
“You said you wanted good English readers.” The rejected complains.
“Yes”, I agreed, “But I also need people that can follow instructions and not have a Gibraltar size chip on their shoulder. I’m the boss, and what I say goes. And I say you go, dick cheese. Ta-ta.”
He realizes his mistake and beings to entreat me with tales of woe.
“If that was a loose blasting wire, we’d all be dead. I don’t need an attitude. I need people with brains enough to listen. Now, piss off. We’re done here.” I say.
“Benchod fucker”, he snarls. “I keel you.”
Luckily my coffee mug was nearly half empty. Otherwise, it could have really left a mark across his face where I slammed him with it.
He’s down on the ground, wondering what hit him. I’m standing over him, towering and glowering. It was that kind of day. I don’t have time for monks resisting the carnival.
“You get the fuck out of my sight, you sawed-off little prick. You’re lucky I’m in a good mood and don’t give you a fucking C-4 enema. Or kick your scrawny ass to death. You might still have your shit job here in the yard, but I hear from anyone one more foul oath or unkind word out of you and you’re going to be Alsatian chow back at the Raj. You diggin’ me, Beaumont
He just looked at me with eyes as wide as cheap paper plates at a windy Sunday picnic.
“Get out of here, you asshole.” I snarled and puffed mightily on my cigar.
He got up and scarpered. He didn’t even take the time to dust off.
Sanjay arrived with number 79 just as he hit the exit.
I hand number 79, one Mr. Yudhishthira Bahaiti, brass token number 24.
“Welcome aboard. Sorry about the foul-up. It’s been handled. See you in building #2 at 1300 hours.” I say.
“Sanjay? Lunch?” I suggest. “I could really use a fresh coffee.”
After lunch, Sanjay and I are smoking away in Outbuilding #2. It’s about 1245 hours or so and already a couple of new recruits have appeared. They are sitting in one of the 24 seats which look for all the world like elementary school desks way back in the day.
There are 24 locker boxes stacked along one wall. These are the new locker boxes for my recruits.
These contain a number of specialty items which they will now need in the execution of their new jobs.
Some of it could be considered quite pricey and there are needs for security, especially since this bunch will be dealing with high, low, and medium explosives. I’m getting that teaching vibe again. I love geology, I love blowing shit up, but I really love to teach. Especially a new crop of fresh recruits.
I’ve watched Full Metal Jacket far too many times.
It’s 1300 hours on the nose. All 24 recruits are assembled and in their proper numbered chair. Sanjay has made up a seating plan for me so I can get to match a name to face and locker box number.
It’s showtime.
To be continued…
submitted by Rocknocker to Rocknocker [link] [comments]

r/sportsbook Week in Review

I spend far too much time in this sub—enough that I feel like I've met one guy’s wife—and so much that most of the stories I tell the guys at work involve something my “friend” told me. So, congratulations to everyone in here for becoming my friend, though as it stands, none of you will be receiving invitations to my birthday party.
With all that time spent, the least I can do is provide you degens with a periodic round-up of how fucked up yet simultaneously great this place is. It might provide you with some perspective, it might provide you with a few laughs, but it probably won’t provide you with any helpful gambling advice. Here we go…
Sport of the Week: College Football? Snooker please! The sub’s new favorite sport needs no explanation of the rules to American bettors (it’s just what the Brits call billiards, right?). A snooker god is amongst us and the hype is real. With the recent rise in the sport’s popularity via this sub, I would be surprised if snooker does not move all the way up to at least ESPN 8. My advice: tail, but tail responsibly (with the second half of those instructions being as mandatory as “Drink Responsibly” is to a college student).
POTDOTW: Although it was a loser in the end, The Pick of the Day of the Week was a ballsy one: Washington Generals ML @ Harlem Globetrotters on Monday. Now, my model actually had the Globetrotters winning this one, but sometimes you just can’t argue with logic—and the logic said that the Generals were due for a win. Admittedly, tremendous value in the ML here.
Unfortunately, it didn’t play out that way, and the Globetrotters took yet another W over the Generals. I am not sure who the commissioner of that league is, but you have to think there is some pressure being applied for greater parity. Have you ever heard anyone say “I’m taking my kids to see the Generals this weekend”? I didn’t think so. I hope there is an efficient revenue-sharing model in place.
Capper of the Week: Definitely not “That guy’s wife”. With her red hot start a few weeks ago, I started wondering if she worked in the league office and was tipping off her husband. Following her performance the last couple of weeks, I am wondering if she exists at all, or this guy is just hiding behind a mirage of “his wife”. Her Thanksgiving day picks had me feeling thankful that I don’t tail the picks of a stranger’s wife on Reddit. Her Seahawks pick over the Rams looked good on paper, but she forgot that fading Reddit works 100% of the time, as long as you don't believe in confirmation bias.
I did however try placing a bet on “Redditor to make joke about ‘Riding his wife hard’ YES” in Sunday’s thread, but my book took it off the board before I could submit it. I had planned to parlay it with “Redditor to explain ‘crossing zero in a teaser is bad value’ YES”.
Ask for upvotes and you shall receive …a 7-day ban. Welcome back but also apparently goodbye to "Europe’s best handicapper"! I am starting to wonder if I should move to Europe and attempt to take over his title. Based on what I have heard about his recent record outside of Reddit, the job seems fairly easy. I’m just undecided on where I will disappear to when my record goes south.
“CP forever. CP til’ I die.” Or CP until he drops off the face of the earth. At this point, we can only hope CP is safe and his wife doesn’t have his balls in a vice grip right now.
The Ruling on the Field: I know a lot of people had Patriots -3 this week, which was really a boneheaded play, given how the Patriots have looked recently. I wanted to make a joke at the expense of New England bettors, but Jerome Boger’s crew told me those jokes are out of bounds. I would challenge them on that, but, you know…
Picks? Anybody need picks? Got picks here: If betting on the Spurs against the spread (6-17 ATS this year) hasn’t been an efficient enough method of throwing your cash away, a well-known poster out there (who I will not name) is now selling his previously free picks for the low low price of $129 per week. The only condition he sets is that all bets you place must be 1 unit, conveniently ensuring your subscription will never pay for itself.
Things I didn’t watch: the Anthony Joshua fight. I hope everyone was able to make some bread, but personally, I try to avoid wagering on boxing. It is easily the most rigged sport in the world. Or at least it is until someone ends up on the wrong side of an NBA bet, or Bill Belichick is seen on the telephone near the end of a Patriots game.
Most of you are probably asking: who are you and why are you doing this? The answer is that I have another username I post under but don’t want to mix my profiles. As for why? I don’t really know. I hatched the idea on my commute home from work a few hours ago. My job has zero room for any jokes or humor, so I thought this might be a good release. If you liked it, great. If you didn’t...oh well.
submitted by SBinReview to sportsbook [link] [comments]

Disease-denying propaganda spews a pandemic of pandemonium!

By: Ashley Curtin - August 3, 2020
Read the article here: https://www.nationofchange.org/?p=750514

Evolution on parade: The conscious survive, dingbats play Russian roulette

Microbes are re-invigorating the dicey notion “survival of the fittest”—personal and political. Are we not sharing front row seats to the decline and fall of the Trump White House, this week rife with medieval mayhem of gothic proportions? “Blithering idiocy” qualifies when the president calls a certifiable, extremist Houston doctor “impressive” and an “important voice.”
This physician (heal thyself!) not only pushes discredited hydroxychloroquine as miracle cure, but demon sperm (via sex and/or dreams) as disease conveyors all the while blaming “reptilian” lizard-people running government (and assuredly having unprotected sex – no mask!). What, you missed the headlines? Are evangelicals so snookered they’ll embrace even low-brow voodoo? Speaking of which, “pandemonium” identifies the capital of hell, literally “a concentration of evil demons.”
Hold your sides while right-wing trolls defend what’s equivalent to ingesting Clorox! Wonder how Trump will inevitably top this calculated outrage? He’s about to disprove Oscar Wilde’s quip there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Trump’s abuse of non-violent protestors or blaming China for the global pandemic are scam reactionary provocations. But to celebrate “impressive” practitioners invokes medieval bloodletting or burning witches at the stake. Well, bonfires at least saved on cremation costs.
Rarely does the entire world so confirm the obvious: wingnut ideology kills (and not in a good sense). Not from slime invasions, outside agitation or police violence, but ingesting folly that defies everything we know about germs. Death by smugness? The joyful “freedom” to infect yourself – or push grandmothers into the grave? The old line, “you’re asking for it – and you going to get it,” returns with force. Won’t headlines on demon sex restore our tawdry national reputation? Still standing by your ‘16 vote, Trumpers?

A true fable

Cave-dwelling heathens didn’t know to wash their hands, fear water-born pathogens or understand microbes wipe out immune systems, permanence of the tribe, even faith in higher or lower powers. Until the last two centuries, pandemics were blamed on “bad air” (miasmas, from rotting organic material, whence cometh “mal-aria”), invisible spore-like “seeds,” even spontaneous generation. Even today, fundamentalists fantasize demonic possession infects individuals (as above) while “divine wrath” explains how natural disasters punish evil, infidel miscreants. Remember Katrina and sinful New Orleans? Really, what other invisible forces command epic forces – and send such clear messages?
Just think: for 2000 years trained “doctors” practiced bloodletting (with leeches) to cure sickness, positing four humours from four organs dictated wellness and disease. And skeptics doubt the wonders of our modern times! Only 150 years ago, surgeons didn’t know careful hand-washing protected their patients against infection (if they survived crude operations). Life-saving antibiotics are about my age.
Today, a virulent pandemic achieves what our broken politics can’t: broadcasting dire, real-world outcomes when top Republicans utterly reject the modern age marvel: the advance of medical sciences. Instead of embracing progress, with a matchless record of banishing once devastating scourges, today’s medieval fundamentalism clings to treacherous pre-science disorders that reject simple disease prevention.
Sure, defy the “freedom-stealing” P.C. mask police, sneer at preventative hygiene, and violate self-isolation at every chance. Broadcast your god-given independence! Cough, cough! Who needs testing (a disease amplifier!?) or social tracing or avoiding crowds, indoors and out? Who needs vaccines? “Don’t tread on me – even when it saves my life.” That’s why parents tell errant children, “don’t run into the street, pet unknown animals, or take candy from smiling strangers.” And what are these indecent, life-changing violations of liberty – a featherweight face mask, social distancing, and washing your freaking hands. Dumb gets dumber, if not deader. MADA!

True exceptionalism

What endless White House negligence proves is how to assure doubling our already world fatality record: keep sneering at science. That ends up serving a true, unquenchable “demon,” whether deemed the Angel of Death or the Great Slayer, a.k.a. Axrael, Abaddon, Mot, Psychopomp (!), Santa Muerte, Shinigami, and Yama – alongside the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Conquest, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. You want demons galore to get us? Just impugn Dr. Fauci and crew as fake news experts.
Is this not a jaw-dropping distortion of “freedom,” as if free from knowledge, good public health policy, or our own lifespans? Laws inhibit personal “freedoms” all the time: highway speed limits, insurance requirements, laws on helmets or street-crossing, against hate crimes or sexual harassment. “Freedom” is not acting on your every urge or appetite: that way lies chaos. “Freedom’s just another way for nothing left to lose.”
Covid-19 is destroying not just lives but Trump’s unshakeable tunnel vision. The rightwing “freedom” of sneering at potent invisible microbes – blindly touting magical invulnerability – is just as certifiable as flat-earthers, gravity deniers, flaky mediums who “converse” with the dead, or doctors citing voodoo demon sex.
Making America sicker and sicker is no gift of freedom but belligerent myopia. Here, here, the U.S. has already won the Disease Olympics: our global gold medal is guaranteed. Is there a more onerous exposure at the core of the Trump Freedom Brigade – demanding the right to infect others?

True irrationality

Hats off to the idiot president and 11% of Americans who refuse to wear masks (oh, the misery!) or self-isolate (oh, the hardship!) or cleanse their hands after contact (oh, the time and bother!). Hats off to the less than 34% who endorse Trump’s “handling” of the pandemic, though what positives they identify is as mysterious as dark matter. I suppose we should count our blessings—over 66% (and growing) disapprove of having a Quack Doctor-in-chief. Higher by November, I bet.
In a year or two, or much less, savvy pundits will regard such deviant regression with incredulity. “What exactly made wearing a safety mask an issue? What’s the deal with social distancing if it saves lives? Why would any sane person resist sanitizing hands that touch faces? We’ll judge Trump Medieval Madness as we do other historic low points, like McCarthyism, interning the Japanese or 250 years of slavery plus a century of Jim Crow brutality.
What historian won’t conclude not only did Trump degrade the general welfare (except for surviving billionaires), but deserves perpetual pillorying, along with slavish governors, as mass sacrificers of innocents, the old, and dedicated health professionals? Since we struggle to understand current right-wing defiance to easily-applied medical advice, our progeny will match our befuddlement, stuck with invoking the nightmare dimensions of human nature that, like unbidden comets, periodically streak across the night sky. Oy vey!
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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…4

Continuing…
Mealtime was a very nice selection of either British or Oriental food, I enjoyed the lasagna especially.
The empties pile was growing at a prodigious rate as it’s a thirsty business flying around the world, defending science, and pushing back the boundaries of knowledge and scholarship.
Besides, it was free.
The lightweights of the crowd, the wiggle-pickers, and the log readers flaked early and were snoring their way to the Orient. The stalwart Russians, the Bulgarian, the Swede, and the Finn were keeping the cabin attendants in shape with their beverage requests. Not to worry, I plan to tip each stoutly upon our arrival.
I thought ahead and ‘smuggled’ a bottle of duty-free vodka aboard. Truth be told, my emergency flasks probably tote up about a liter combined. I kept myself busy with my notes, logistics, field notebooks, and expenses; so I only had to ask for ice, limes, and Bitter Lemon a couple of times during the long flight.
The flight continued on through the night and into the next day. I flaked out myself somewhere over Lake Baikal by my reckoning. The next thing I know, I was being offered a hot towel, tea, and breakfast menu by a stunningly cute and ridiculously attentive diminutive cabin attendant.
The light coming through the cabin windows was intensely bright, as is its wont at 35,000 feet elevation. I wish I could have asked for someone to turn it down a couple of notches.
“Cliff. Could you pull down the window shade? I’m getting zorched over here.”
After abbreviated morning ablutions, I’m sipping some genuinely wonderful loose-leaf black morning tea.
It was augmented by a quick splash of wuliangye, a delightful Chinese liqueur made from sorghum, rice, glutinous rice, more rice, sticky rice, unsticky rice, rice crispies, wheat, and corn which rings in at 52 percent alcohol.
104 proof breakfast juice.
My kind of morning wake-up tea.
Once breakfast was served, I took the time to remind everyone of our mission.
Remember where we’re going. Remember what we’re doing. And remember, these folks probably don’t care much for practical jokes; as I looked directly at Dr. Ivan who made an obligatory fake flatus sound.
Ph.D. Doctor. Academician. And a 12-year old’s comportment. He makes it out of this alive and it’ll be a genuine miracle.
The plane makes a couple of sudden swings. I’ve been through this before, we’re getting ready to land at Beijing Capital International Airport.
“DING!” dings the in-cabin dinger that ding-alerts us that, yes, we’re preparing to land.
Stash that extra beer in your daypack, shove all those extra mini-bottles into your rucksack; we’re getting ready to touch down.
We land, taxi to the appropriate arrivals gate and in merest minutes are headed off the plane into the belly of the airport. I’m last off, to ensure everyone else makes it and to disburse some well-deserved tips to the cabin attendants.
They tried, wanly, to protest, “Oh, no. We cannot…oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.”
One flight attendant hands me a couple of mini-bottles of vodka and a can of Bitter Lemon.
“It is very dusty walk to customs”, she smiles at me.
I do so love to visit the Orient. Furry Godzillas get some mad respect over here.
We needn’t worry. We were all met at the debouchment of the jetway by a pair of electric convenience carts. We were sort of, kind of, more or less, VIPs, so we’re getting the royal service.
I could grow to like this.
We are taken to an off-axis terminal room behind an unmarked door and told to wait.
Of course, the cigarettes are broken out and I am offered a small Dutch dry-cured cigar from Dr. Viv.
“Here, Rock. Try one of mine.” He smiled.
“Thanks, Viv.” I said and joined the combustible crowd. Nice flavor, burns a tad hot though for my taste.
I take the time to check in back home. Not with Es, but with the Agents. I inform them via answering machine that we’re in China, being treated well, on schedule and will be departing to the final destination in a couple of hours.
“Rock, what’s the bloody score?” Cliff asks me.
“Not sure”, I replied, “Nothing from any agency folks. Perhaps they are taken to quarantine geologists now in light of the global Cheap Mexican Beer Virus craziness.”
An official arrives at the door, coughs, and informs us that our luggage is outside. We will surrender our passports and the needful will be done. They will be returned, and we will be taken to our departure gate.
I spoke up.
“Excuse me, but I’m Dr. Rocknocker, the titular head of this special education class. I think I speak for the crowd when I say that we’re not terribly keen on ‘surrendering’, as you say, our passports. We’re world travelers and that right there is no-no number one on the world wanderer hit parade.” I said.
“Yes, Dr. Rocknocker. This was anticipated.” He replied, without stating his name, rank or even serial number, “Therefore, if you wish, one of your party will accompany us to the customs area and oversee the procedure. It is for your convenience.”
“I understand that and we do appreciate that, but some of us are from countries that have undergone some severe global turmoil in the last few decades. Old habits die hard. Can you give us a minute, please?” I asked.
“Certainly, Doctor.” The official replied. And silently shut himself off.
Or so it seemed, he was very methodical and mechanical.
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. Pony up your passports. Give them to Dax, whom I’ve just elected as official IUPGS ambassador to China.”
Dax does a quick double-take. “What?”
“No worries Dax. It’s a cinch. Just go with Three Ceepio over here and watch over our passports. We’ll hold down the fort on this side.” I said.
“Why me? Why don’t you, as ‘titular head of this special education class’, tend to such duties?” Dax asks.
“Ah, you heard that…” I snickered, “That’s the precise reason. I’ve got to stay and figure out the logistics while you handle some of the ancillary activities. I mean, that’s what second in command duties entail.”
“OK, OK”, Dax exhales in defeat, “Give me your passports, sign a sheet as a receipt to show them we’re not going to be snookered”, as evidently, Western passports, even vague copies, go for major dinero over here on the black market; which we’re not implying is what’s happening here at all.
No. Not in the least.
Dax continues, “Paper trail. Let’s make a real path back from wherever we go. So, hand over your passports and sign the paper. We’ll have Three Ceepio sign it as well once we get him rebooted. Then I go take care of business while Dr. Rock does the needful here.”
Even with the grumbles and snark, we collected a total of a dozen passports, a dozen signatures and once reawakened, Three Ceepio actually signed the sheet of paper we were using to track our documents.
It’s not that we’re paranoid. It’s not that we’re suspicious. It’s not that we’re distrustful. It’s just that we’re very, very careful, cynical, and pragmatic. It’s a survival instinct.
Dax and the Chinese official vacate the room and I wander outside the door to check on our luggage. I had copies of everyone’s bag tags and saw immediately that mine had made it more or less unscathed. It was a real pain in the lumbar region stooping over and checking all those numbers, so I dragooned Viv and Ivan into helping me.
I’d call off the name, and then the last 4 digits of the ridiculously long 18-25 digit tracking number. Viv or Ivan would find the bag and we’d check another off the list. It would have taken me alone a good hour to accomplish this. With Viv and Ivan’s help, 10 minutes later, we're back in the austere waiting room, smoking cigars and taking sips from purloined British Airways liquor miniatures.
All our baggage made it this far. At least, the bag showed up. No idea who or what had been through the interior of the bags, but they all looked intact.
That, in and of itself, was good enough for a couple of toasts.
Dax returned with all our properly stamped, photocopied, re-stamped, visa-ed, and appropriately checked for entrance to our next destination. There were certain countries where if their customs stamps appear in your passport it could cause you to be denied entry. These were all covered with hardly-obvious yellow sticky notes and low-grade sticky tape.
Such subterfuge.
There was a knock at the door and Joon answered. It was an Air China hostess pushing a huge cart loaded with food and drink.
“Hello. Is this IUPGS?” she asked.
“Why, yes; it is,” I replied. “At least, were representatives of that group.”
She pushes open the doors wide as it would go and enters with the cart.
“Courtesy of Air China.” She declared, did a neat little bow and exited before we could say a word.
“Very much like traveling with Dr. Rock”, Volna declares, “We must do this some more often” as he heads to the cart and grabs a very cold can of local beer.
I look at the cart, and at my team members.
“Bon appetite, guys”, I say, shrugging my shoulders and raising my hands in defeat.
Like hungry lampreys on a wobbly Sockeye Salmon, that cart actually shuddered under the onslaught.
Once the food and drink were sorted, Dax continued with his tale.
“Yeah, they were very thorough. Actually had some joker from the place we’re going giving each and every passport the once over. Checking for untoward stamps, problematic visas, and the like Everything was going fine until some knucklehead’s red Diplomatic Passport came up.” Dax chuckled.
“Yes? Hello?” I said, looking up from a very tasty Oriental chicken-wrap sandwich.
“Oh, yeah. ‘Why an American has a Russian Diplomatic Passport’? I didn’t know so I just dummied up. I let them figure it out. A few phone calls later, they hurriedly stamped that passport and shoved it back into the pile like it was made of pure plutonium. Your reputation does precede you, Rock.” Dax laughs.
“They probably called the emergency number inside the front cover.” I chuckled along, “When the Langley operator answered, they probably wet themselves in unison.”
“That”, Ivan pointed out, “Raises even more questions. But I’d rather have another drink than examine that issue here and now.”
“Smart move”, I smiled back to Ivan. He fake-farted back at me.
“Oh, Geez Louise. This is going to be a long trip…” I shook my head in disbelief.
Just a short time later, Three Ceepio arrived back at our waiting area, briefly goggled at the drinks cart that now resembled the post-lunch feeding rig used for the velociraptors in the original Jurassic Park. He announced that we needed to gather our belongings and meet outside for transport to our departure gate.
We gathered up our gear and with cries of “pack out your trash”, we policed the area and left it cleaner than when we arrived. There were 4 electric carts idling along outside, spewing all that noxious angry pixie effluvia into the ether. Our baggage was already gone, explained by one of the drivers that it had already been taken to the plane; and if we’d please be seated, we’d be next.
We zoomed through the surprisingly empty airport terminal towards our departure gate.
A couple of the cart drivers, at the behest of the occupants, were vying to see who could get to our departure gate first; as there was a pile of rubles, yuan, euros, krona, lev, yen, and a few dollars at stake.
It was a near thing, but I wasn’t about to declare a winner. As far as I was concerned we made it there alive and that should have been sufficient to split up the prize four ways. I let the other conspirators handle this little occasion.
Up to the departure desk, and it was a very cursory look at our passports, a taking of tickets, and ushering us onto the plane.
“Sheesh.” I heard someone grouse, “What a puddle jumper. Damn thing’s a tin can and we’re the sardines.”
It was a vintage Boeing 737. Not tiny, but by comparison to what we’re been flying, it looked very small indeed.
We didn’t need to worry, the plane was empty. We were the only passengers on this flight; CA121 Beijing to Pyongyang. Departing 1:25 PM Arriving 4:20 PM.
It’s good to have connections.
Since the airport was so quiet and we were the only passengers on this flight, we were seated, asked our drink orders and sitting back relaxing for only 15 minutes before we heard the doors clatter shut and the jet lurching backward as we push off.
We were asked to drink up so the glasses could be gathered and stored in the galley during takeoff. We taxied a bit, drove left, drove right, and before we even had a chance for some pithy quips, we were airborne headed to our destination.
“Damn”, I said to the vapors, “That was quick.”
We had just leveled out on our ~2-hour flight when the cabin attendants came around with duty-free.
“Last chance to buy!”, they smiled.
We bought them out of booze and cigarettes. They didn’t have any cigars.
Damn.
Then it was snacks and drinks. I was going to say something about watching their intake of EtOh, but, fuck that. They’re adults. Supposedly. They know their limits. I hoped.
The flight puttered along very smoothly. Too high up to see any scenery, plus it was quite foggy with a low lying scud of gray clouds below us. The in-flight movies were execrable and the in-flight magazine indecipherable.
“Yes, I’d love another cocktail. A double, if you would, Thanks. What? Oh, whatever that last one was…”
And so the flight progressed.
A short while later, the annunciator dinged and let us know that we were beginning our descent to that place north of the 38th parallel.
“Gentlemen”, I said, “We are finally arriving at our primary destination. Please, remember decorum. We are international scientific ambassadors, so let’s keep the bilabial fricatives to a minimum.”
I was greeted by a volley of fake-farts, Bronx cheers, and staccato belches that would put any university’s zoo fraternity to shame. Geologists are a weird bunch.
“Yeah. My team. Yeah. Karma hates me…” I sighed and sat back down in my seat for landing.
We touch down as light as lotus blossom on silent golden pond.
We taxied and taxied until our taxi-er was sore, but we finally arrived at the proper gate; one of the two that existed. It’s not that the airport was that big or busy, it was just things tend to move a bit slower here.
Then it sort of hits. We’re finally at Pyongyang International Airport. We are a group of hand-picked global geoscientists on a mission to try and help out a self-insulated, insular, xenophobic, totalitarian, dictatorial, repressive regime crawl out of the intellectual and technological cesspool they’ve created for themselves by providing the insights into the latest exploration, operations, and production petroleum geology to help bolster their own economy, raise the standard of living for all its citizens, and perhaps start them down the path to a slightly more robust energy self-sufficiency where they won’t have to worry over sanctions, global prohibitions of trade, or the vicissitudes and illegalities of black market oil and bring the quality of their geological and associated sciences out of the late 19th century and gloriously into the 21st!
Me? Fuck it. I’m an unrepentant mercenary. I’m in it for the money.
We taxi over to Terminal 2, the arrivals terminal for all international flights. I note, rather bemusedly, that the airport boasts only one runway. I’ve landed at grass-swamp airports on the taiga in Eastern Siberia that have three or four runways, and those are carved out annually.
I’m not terribly impressed.
We arrive at the jetway and wait for the plane to spool down. There are all sorts of bowing and handshaking with our flight crew, as they were marvelous. Unobtrusive, available, and not terribly chatty. Plus, they poured the drinks like they themselves didn’t own it. Hearty cash tips disappeared into pants and tunic pockets.
We gather up our gear and wait for the door to open. It does, after a few minutes, and we bravely sally forth, a scientific cadre ostensibly on a mercy mission.
One to bolster the economy of this particular country and the bank accounts of 12 international geoscientists.
Off the plane, down the jetway. Once we reach the arrivals terminal, we see this huge sign in Korean, English, Russian and Chinese:
“Travel alert March 2020: North Korean authorities have restricted travel to and from China. If entering North Korea from China or Russia, you will be quarantined for one month.”
“Well.”, I thought out loud, “Now there’s an auspicious beginning…they might have said something back in Beijing…”
I wait for the others to read the good news and expect the grumbles, groans, and gritting teeth of a trip thus ambushed.
What I hear, instead, is:
“Whoo-hoo! Triple pay! Force majeure, baby! Tax-free paid holiday! Rock, you’re a genius. Thanks for sending your contract over…”. Dax exults.
The rest of the crowd also received excerpts from my standard piracy form, errr, contract.
They didn’t get it from me, so I’m making a note to Rack and Ruin. They had to be the leak in the reactor that spawned this seepage. Seems everyone had added that codicil to their personal service contracts; almost as if someone knew about this beforehand…
Suddenly the demeanor of the crowd became much lighter.
We all assemble in the arrivals area and see a couple of nationals holding IUPGS signs.
We stood our ground. They stood theirs.
We were the only ones on the plane. We are the people they’re looking for. We’re the only people, other than cleaners, custodians, and clandestine constabularies, in this part of the airport.
“Aww, fuck”, I growl. I’m the head of this special education group. I suppose I’ll go over and break the ice, so to speak.
“Dax?” I say, “I’m going in. You stay here with the rest of the group. Keep them out of the pub; for now.”
“Gotcha, Rock”, Dax replies, as the rest of the group look for someplace to sit and wait until something happens.
I wander over to one of the placard holders and extract one of my business cards. It’s in English on one side and Russian on the other. I hope this character speaks one or the other.
“Good day”, I say, proffering my business card, which he takes. “I am Dr. Rocknocker, and this is the team from the IUPGS. We’ve just arrived and are looking forward to working in your fine country.”
“I am Tongbang Yong-Sun”, the placard carrier said, “You will follow me.”
“Well.”, I thought, “So much for introductions.”
“Dax? Guys? Follow me.” I said to the team.
They all got up, grabbed their gear, and sauntered over to where Toebang or whatever the hell his name was, and I were standing.
“Hello. Welcome to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. You are guests of the illustrious Kim Jong-un. We welcome you as guests but remind you, you are guests here and are expected to comport yourself as guests.”
Ivan gives Grako an elbow to the ribs: “Hey. Did he say we were guests?”
Grako cracks up, “Several times.”
“Oh, yeah. This is going to be some fun…” I muse.
“As spokesman and leader of the team, we say thank you for this opportunity as it is a unique experience. But, I must remind you, we are not a tour group. We are a specially selected global group of industrial scientists who have volunteered our time and education to come to offer our expertise to the benefit of your country. So, we’d appreciate it if you would comport yourself and your team as such as well.” I said.
Toebang looked as if he just struck a thick vein of lemon-juice.
“Your attitude has been noted, Doctor,” Toebang said.
“Good. I’d hate to think you weren’t listening.” I replied in kind. “I despise repeating myself.”
Don’t try your little man ‘I’m a big shit’ here, buckwheat. I’ve gone toe-to-toe with the best of them around the world and my record stands undefeated; I mused.
With that, we sauntered down the long hallway to passport control and customs.
If arrivals were anything to crow about, this is going to be the longest entrance into a country in years.
Down the hall, we’re all lead to a non-descript room off the main throughway. There are easily a dozen chairs there and we are asked to have a seat. The passport agent will be here soon.
I gather up all the passports and figure this must be the North Korean version of VIP passport handling that we experienced in Beijing.
Nope.
One agent arrives and takes his fucking sweet time setting up his tea, stamp pad, rubber stamps, and other articles of officious-dom.
He motions to me and I walk over, depositing a dozen passports gently in front of him.
He looks at me, looks at the pile of passports, at me again and I swear, I see steam issuing from his ears.
“Is there a problem? “ I ask.
“Why you have so many passports?” he asks.
“One from each of my team plus mine equals 12 passports,” I replied.
“ONE AT A TIME!” he screams.
The room fell silent. Bets were probably being laid as to how I’d react.
“Sorry?” I said, “I didn’t catch that.”
The customs guy was starting to go red.
“See”, I continued, “I am deaf to disrespect, much less screaming by some minor functionary. Care to try again?”
“Each brings up own passport.”, he says, seething but slightly less self-important.
“Most certainly”, I reply in saccharine dripping tones, “Here’s mine.” And I offer him my blood-red passport.
He goes to grab it, but seeing Toebang behind me, he cools out and accepts it gracelessly.
He opens it, looks at it, looks at me, looks at it, at me, at it, at me.
“Christ.” I think, “Korean ping pong.”
“You are American?” he asks.
“Yes, by birth” I reply.
“Why Russian passport?” he asks.
“Long story. But please check. It is all legal and above board.” I reply nicely.
He gives me the hairy eyeball, scrunches up his face like he’s just been the recipient of a high-velocity dog-yummy to the scrotum, and viciously stamps my passport. Gleefully over stamping such visas and stamps like the ones from Bali, Seychelles, Bermuda, and Turks and Caicos. Places he might have heard of but would never in a million years visit.
He hands me back my passport and I thought that was it.
Nope. Now it’s time for backpack inspection.
“Now, the fun begins”, I mused.
They literally dump my daypack out on the stainless steel inspection counter. I ask them to take it easy, as I have some seriously delicate scientific equipment there and wouldn’t want it fuckered before we got the chance to use it in your fine country.
Toebang and Shitheels, the passport pecker, looked at me and just ‘Harrumph’-ed.
“What is this?”
“Oh, goody. Show and tell. Gather ‘round gents, after I’m done, you’re all next.” I said to the team.
“That is my field notebook computer. An ancient and trusty device I use in the field for mapping, taking field notes, and making calculations.”
“Open it and turn it on.”
“Certainly.” I did and made sure it booted up under XP and not Win 7.
“You need this?” Shitheels asked.
“Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have dragged it halfway around the world.” I replied truthfully if not a bit snarkily.
“OK.” He grabs my satellite phone. “What is this?”
“Field communication device”, I said truthfully. “For communications via line of sight with others in the field during field excursions.” Which was more or less accurate.
“You need this?” Shitheels asked.
“Yes, just as before,” I replied.
We played this little game with my gravimeter, Brunton Compass, Mohs Hardness Testing Kit, UV lamp set (long and short wave…for mineral identification), map case, clipboard, myriad pens, and colored pencils, and GPS, which was built into a range finder; which I demonstrate the range finding capabilities, but not the GPS capabilities.
He grabbed my cameras and was fumbling around with the two Canon EOS-1D X Mark III bodies I was carrying and the four lenses, primarily close-up macro-photography when I asked him to please be careful.
“They’re new for the trip. I’d hate for them to be damaged before we can find some oil and gas for you all.” I said.
As all lenses were less than 250mm, he just grunted and shoved them back to me.
He didn’t know about the 900 lens I was carrying or the shitload of memory cards still zipped into the lining of my day pack.
“Is everything OK?” I ask?
“Yes. No. Wait. What’s this?” he asks as he grabs my hand lens off the stainless steel table.
“Ah. That, my good sir, is my Scanning Electron Hand Lens.” I said with overweening pride.
“What is it? What is it for? Why?” he fumbled with the three objectives.
“Oh, please, careful with that. It’s a high energy tool!” I said in mock alarm.
He almost dropped it like a live grenade.
The term ‘high energy’ cut through the discourse like a 5 megawatt laser firing for the first time.
I grabbed the hand lens and showed him how it worked on the back of my hand.
“Lens 1. 5x magnification. Lens 2. 10x magnification. Lens 3. 20x magnification. Push this button and you get UV shortwave radiation for mineral identification. Push this button and you get longwave UV radiation for mineral identification. Push both once and you get a low power red laser, push both twice and get a high-power green laser for scanning specimens. That’s for EDAX: Energy Dispersive Analysis of X-rays. Very high tech. I hope to make a gift of it to the university if and when we ever get through passport control.”
It was all a load of cobblers, and my team was snickering, but not too loud. Yes, it was a hand lens with three Coddington precision ground lenses, and a red- and green low power UV sources for illumination and checking fluorescent minerals. But all that LASER crapola?
Jolly joke.
It worked though. He cleared all my gear, confiscating the titty magazine I bought in London so they’d have something to show at the end of the day, shook hands, and motioned to Dax.
The rest of the team went through quite quickly. He already saw what a Brunton Compass was, what was a map case, gravimeter, hand lens, and other forms of geological esoterica.
We were all stamped, carded and assigned our ‘handlers’ for the remainder of our stay.
Since we were most emphatically not a tour group, they assigned four locals to be our “aides”; not handlers.
Sure, they were employed by the Korean International Travel Company, but they were not tour agents nor any other kind of agent. They wanted us to be assured of that fact.
They were, however, all young and named Yuk Seong-Ho, No Young-Gi, Man Suk-Chul, and Kong Chong-Yol.
Got that?
‘Yuk’. ‘No’. ‘Man’. And ‘Kong’.
Well, like we were much better.
‘Dax’. ‘Rock’. ‘Grako.’ ‘Viv’. And ‘Earl’.
What a bunch.
We were lead out of the passport office after we passed muster there and down to baggage claim. All our baggage was waiting for us, including an Air China bag of rock hammers, acid bottles, and other implements of geological destruction.
We were told to tell which were our personal bags. We pointed them out and they were marked with wide black Sharpies® and Post-it™ notes.
One after another was called over to a series of stainless steel tables and asked if this was our baggage if we packed it and if we were carrying any contraband.
The last question struck me as disingenuous.
One at a time, one after another, we have vetted through customs once again, check out our clothes, personal items, and secret stashes of booze and cigars.
They were a rather affable group, these customs folks, and actually quite pleasant.
Kong pulled me over to one corner and told me “They are being nice, looking for gifts or bribes. Cigarettes are much appreciated.”
I was called last and elected to take out the Air China bag as well. I plopped my three Halliburton aluminum traveling cases on the table, whirled the locks, and popped them open for inspection.
They immediately noticed my emergency stash of vodka and bourbon.
“For medicinal purposes”, I chuckled, and absent-mindedly set 5 or 6 airline miniatures of booze on the table. They disappeared with an audible whoosh.
They looked at my boxes of cigars with covetous eyes.
“I suppose I better part with a few rather than piss them off and have them confiscate the lot. “ I thought. I offered them one Camacho each. I explained they were very, very strong and that one should last them a very long time indeed.
“It’s a gift, from us to you.” I said, “We do hope you will enjoy.”
SWOOSH. They disappeared just as quickly as the booze minis.
Then they saw the Sobranje cocktail cigarettes.
My plan was coming together.
I quickly open a carton and offered each a full pack of 20 of the festively-colored little coffin-nails.
They accepted them just as quickly, and now we were all friends. Hell, at this point, I could have smuggled through a fully armed ICBM, these guys were so blissed out at their good fortune.
They did a half-ass paw through my gear and told me to close each. Then they got to the last one and opened my real medicine bag. Here I kept the expensive silver-iodide ointment I was using in conjunction with the tantalum implants. Also, there were travel necessities, like antibiotics, pain medication, muscle relaxants, and some prescription sleep-inducing medications like Halcion and Ambien.
I flashed quickly to Dubai customs where they gave me a ration of shit about the sleep meds, and instantly tried to steer the discussion towards something less likely to be seen as smuggling or illegal.
“Oh? That?” I asked, grabbing the vail of silver-iodide ointment. “That’s for my hand. You see, I’m trying out some new implants before I get a new custom prosthesis…”
I may as well have been discussing Hyper-spatial Calculus with an Atlantic-trench blowfish at that point.
“What? What do you mean? Why do you need this?” the customs agent asked.
“Remember. You asked.”, I said and stripped off my left glove.
I held up my mangled left paw for them all to see.
The female customs agent just plain ran out screaming.
“Yeah, I have that effect on some women”, I mused.
Of the remaining two male agents, one was trying hard not to yarp and the other was calling for a policeman.
Suddenly, I’m flanked by two of North Korea’s finest boys in blue. It’s obvious they don’t speak English and I don’t speak any Korean.
“KONG! I need you”, I said, somewhat loudly.
The cops were talking a blue streak between them, evidently thinking that I should be handcuffed, but neither wanted to even look at my mangled mitt much less wrangle it.
“Kong, please tell these fine policemen that there’s no problem. I am sorry but I seem to have shocked the fine customs agents when they wanted to know why I need this jar of prescription salve. I just showed the…” as I waved my left hand right under their noses.
“Put it away! Put it away!” Kong shuddered. There was much discussion in Korean and I heard my name and IUPGS come up once or twice.
I put my glove back on and suddenly, all was right with the world once again.
“I’m going to have to remember that little trick. Walk into a bank, rip off the glove, and start filling my rucksack..” I laughed internally.
There were apologies, contrition, and deep bowing all around.
We came to an understanding. I wouldn’t be trotted off to the hoosegow if I vowed never to take that glove off again.
“Deal”, I said and thrust out my right hand for a good, solid, manly handshake.
It was like shaking hands with a pantyhose full of yogurt.
At that point, they just wanted us out of there.
"Screw the Air China bag. Take it and go to your hotel."
So we did. Laughing all the way.
To be continued…in a while…
submitted by Rocknocker to Rocknocker [link] [comments]

30 [M4F] What is love? Baby don't hurt me, no more~

Bonus points if Jim Carrey popped into your mind as soon as you read the title :)
So, I tried posting before around valentine's day but it didn't work as I hoped, but after some time I'm ready to give it another shot, so here it goes.
As stated above, I'm a 30 year old fella, living in Turkey right now (though I have a lot of free time and a pretty bizarre sleeping schedule so pretty much any timezone would be fine), I'm an IT graduate, also did a masters in UK before returning to my country, and now on the lookout for a sweet job. 1.90m (I believe that's about 6'3 if you prefer to measure things with your feet :p) and somewhat on the chubby side, but hopefully not for long (new years resolution gym memberships are over the roof :p (- a little update on that, I lost like 20kg since the new years eve so it's going pretty well -) . Overall I'd say I'm a rather chill and carefree person, can't say I'm very ambitious or competitive, I'm more the supportive and nurturing type.
As you would probably expect on Reddit, I'm kinda nerdy and I'm a huge gamer (PS4 and PC, with about 600+ games in library, yet you can still occasionally find me complaining that I can't find anything to play :p) , I love games with a passion :) To me they're nothing short of another form of art, and much more than a simple pastime. You don't necessarily need to be a gamer yourself, but I'd hope at least you're open minded and accepting towards it, but it's a huge bonus if you're also a gamer :)
I play a bit of everything but I don't really enjoy competitive games too much, but co-op games are right down my alley :) I mostly like RPGs and story driven games, huge FF fan, some other favourites would be God of War, Uncharted, The Last of Us, Death Stranding, RDR, Subnautica, GTAV, Skyrim, Hearthstone, Slay the Spire, Divinity, No Man's Sky, Disco Elysium, XCOM... okay, you know what, I don't think this list will stop anytime soon so I'll cut it short here, but you get the picture :p
I also love football, chess, snooker, reading some fantasy novels or interesting historical facts occasionally, also cinema and music. Music has a big place in my life, and I have a wide variety in my musical taste, and would love to exchange some songs :) My "liked songs" probably looks like a rollercoaster ride, it can go from opera to metal, then classical music into a western movie theme, anything goes :p
Also, I love animals! I don't have a pet right now but I've had various pets throughout my life such as chicks, fishes, birds, rabbits, a tiny turtle briefly, and a cat. And I want a Shiba Inu in the future, I love their chubby cheeks and silly smiles so much :) They doin' me a fascinate. ( Update on this: A pregnant stray cat kinda chose my balcony as her spot a few months ago, and I've been feeding her so now I have 4 kittens living in my balcony :))
I'm not a very outgoing person, on most days you can safely place a bet on me being at home. This is partly because I don't have any friends in the vicinity, I moved to a city where I literally don't know anyone other than family, and it's not easy for me to meet people with shared interests, so I try my luck online instead.
What else.. oh, I'm an atheist. I try to be respectful towards everyone's religious views as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat and convert me or condemn me etc, but I'd probably get along better with someone who's also not so religious, I suppose.
Ok, here come the important bits:
I've had a pretty lonely life and the few relationships I did have in the past always left me disappointed and frankly appalled at how people can be so rude to someone they care/cared about. But I can also say that those experiences made me realize more about who I am and what I want, and taught me to recognize and appreciate the honesty, openness, loyalty, kindness and compassion in people and I value that, and I think those would be the best things I have to offer (especially honesty is very important to me, I need to stress that). I think I'm a very gentle and caring soul who just yearns to find that special person to cherish my time with and share everything. I'm a hopeless romantic that thinks love is a very special thing and pretty much gives everything else their meaning. I want someone to share my day with, laugh together and cry together, someone to laugh at my silly puns and dad jokes ( so hopefully my goofiness could be something you enjoy, not something you 'tolerate') as well as have deep philosophical conversations with me every now and then. Someone who is open to share who they are, and someone I can be comfortable around and can just be myself with and trust completely.
Of course, I also know it takes time and effort to reach that level, and I think respect and communication should be the foundation of a good relationship. I always prefer to talk things out and be proactive and mature, rather than burying any issues, so I really appreciate straightforward people. I absolutely hate unnecessary drama and vanity. I'm willing to make the effort to really get to know someone and form a deep connection, so I'd hope for you to also be willing to make an effort and spend some time to get to know me, fair enough right?
Naturally, nobody is perfect and I have my flaws. I think one is probably my shaken self-esteem in certain aspects, and perhaps a slight fear of abandonment that lingers on from previous bad experiences. Being a romantic and sensitive guy with stupid ideals makes me a bit too naive and vulnerable I guess, because I often don't know how to deal with the rudeness displayed by people, and I'm afraid to think if I "toughen up" and become insensitized that would also mean losing touch with who I really am deep beneath, which is not what I want. So I really, genuinely want to be in the company of kind hearted souls, respectful and emphatic. If that sounds like you, then I'd be happy if we get to know each other better. But if you're the kind of person to "ghost" people, please spare us both the trouble and stay away, I find it extremely rude and disrespectful and nothing hurts more me more than that, I hate that this kind of rudeness is so common and accepted as a "norm" in today's society. I wish everyone could just be nicer and more respectful to each other.
As one of my favourite movie quotes goes: "The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it." So I seek someone who managed to keep that kid alive within :)
I'd be up for a long distance thing as we get to know each other and grow closer over time, and see where it goes, not exactly in a rush. I think it can be a good starting point because it allows us to focus on each other's thoughts and feelings and personality, rather than sex, and if you can love someone for those qualities then it can be a solid and lasting relationship. And if we don't seem to click on that level, we can always be good friends too.
In short, if you're a kind, talkative, honest and witty person I'd like to know you!
submitted by ckursad to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]

30 [M4F] What is love? Baby don't hurt me, no more~

Bonus points if Jim Carrey popped into your mind as soon as you read the title :)
So, I tried posting before around valentine's day but it didn't work as I hoped, but after some time I'm ready to give it another shot, so here it goes.
As stated above, I'm a 30 year old fella, living in Turkey right now (though I have a lot of free time and a pretty bizarre sleeping schedule so pretty much any timezone would be fine), I'm an IT graduate, also did a masters in UK before returning to my country, and now on the lookout for a sweet job. 1.90m (I believe that's about 6'3 if you prefer to measure things with your feet :p) and somewhat on the chubby side, but hopefully not for long (new years resolution gym memberships are over the roof :p (- a little update on that, I lost like 20kg since the new years eve so it's going pretty well -) . Overall I'd say I'm a rather chill and carefree person, can't say I'm very ambitious or competitive, I'm more the supportive and nurturing type.
As you would probably expect on Reddit, I'm kinda nerdy and I'm a huge gamer (PS4 and PC, with about 600+ games in library, yet you can still occasionally find me complaining that I can't find anything to play :p) , I love games with a passion :) To me they're nothing short of another form of art, and much more than a simple pastime. You don't necessarily need to be a gamer yourself, but I'd hope at least you're open minded and accepting towards it, but it's a huge bonus if you're also a gamer :)
I play a bit of everything but I don't really enjoy competitive games too much, but co-op games are right down my alley :) I mostly like RPGs and story driven games, huge FF fan, some other favourites would be God of War, Uncharted, The Last of Us, Death Stranding, RDR, Subnautica, GTAV, Skyrim, Hearthstone, Slay the Spire, Divinity, No Man's Sky, Disco Elysium, XCOM... okay, you know what, I don't think this list will stop anytime soon so I'll cut it short here, but you get the picture :p
I also love football, chess, snooker, reading some fantasy novels or interesting historical facts occasionally, also cinema and music. Music has a big place in my life, and I have a wide variety in my musical taste, and would love to exchange some songs :) My "liked songs" probably looks like a rollercoaster ride, it can go from opera to metal, then classical music into a western movie theme, anything goes :p
Also, I love animals! I don't have a pet right now but I've had various pets throughout my life such as chicks, fishes, birds, rabbits, a tiny turtle briefly, and a cat. And I want a Shiba Inu in the future, I love their chubby cheeks and silly smiles so much :) They doin' me a fascinate. ( Update on this: A pregnant stray cat kinda chose my balcony as her spot a few months ago, and I've been feeding her so now I have 4 kittens living in my balcony :))
I'm not a very outgoing person, on most days you can safely place a bet on me being at home. This is partly because I don't have any friends in the vicinity, I moved to a city where I literally don't know anyone other than family, and it's not easy for me to meet people with shared interests, so I try my luck online instead.
What else.. oh, I'm an atheist. I try to be respectful towards everyone's religious views as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat and convert me or condemn me etc, but I'd probably get along better with someone who's also not so religious, I suppose.
Ok, here come the important bits:
I've had a pretty lonely life and the few relationships I did have in the past always left me disappointed and frankly appalled at how people can be so rude to someone they care/cared about. But I can also say that those experiences made me realize more about who I am and what I want, and taught me to recognize and appreciate the honesty, openness, loyalty, kindness and compassion in people and I value that, and I think those would be the best things I have to offer (especially honesty is very important to me, I need to stress that). I think I'm a very gentle and caring soul who just yearns to find that special person to cherish my time with and share everything. I'm a hopeless romantic that thinks love is a very special thing and pretty much gives everything else their meaning. I want someone to share my day with, laugh together and cry together, someone to laugh at my silly puns and dad jokes ( so hopefully my goofiness could be something you enjoy, not something you 'tolerate') as well as have deep philosophical conversations with me every now and then. Someone who is open to share who they are, and someone I can be comfortable around and can just be myself with and trust completely.
Of course, I also know it takes time and effort to reach that level, and I think respect and communication should be the foundation of a good relationship. I always prefer to talk things out and be proactive and mature, rather than burying any issues, so I really appreciate straightforward people. I absolutely hate unnecessary drama and vanity. I'm willing to make the effort to really get to know someone and form a deep connection, so I'd hope for you to also be willing to make an effort and spend some time to get to know me, fair enough right?
Naturally, nobody is perfect and I have my flaws. I think one is probably my shaken self-esteem in certain aspects, and perhaps a slight fear of abandonment that lingers on from previous bad experiences. Being a romantic and sensitive guy with stupid ideals makes me a bit too naive and vulnerable I guess, because I often don't know how to deal with the rudeness displayed by people, and I'm afraid to think if I "toughen up" and become insensitized that would also mean losing touch with who I really am deep beneath, which is not what I want. So I really, genuinely want to be in the company of kind hearted souls, respectful and emphatic. If that sounds like you, then I'd be happy if we get to know each other better. But if you're the kind of person to "ghost" people, please spare us both the trouble and stay away, I find it extremely rude and disrespectful and nothing hurts more me more than that, I hate that this kind of rudeness is so common and accepted as a "norm" in today's society. I wish everyone could just be nicer and more respectful to each other.
As one of my favourite movie quotes goes: "The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it." So I seek someone who managed to keep that kid alive within :)
I'd be up for a long distance thing as we get to know each other and grow closer over time, and see where it goes, not exactly in a rush. I think it can be a good starting point because it allows us to focus on each other's thoughts and feelings and personality, rather than sex, and if you can love someone for those qualities then it can be a solid and lasting relationship. And if we don't seem to click on that level, we can always be good friends too.
In short, if you're a kind, talkative, honest and witty person I'd like to know you!
submitted by ckursad to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

30 [M4F] What is love? Baby don't hurt me, no more~

Bonus points if Jim Carrey popped into your mind as soon as you read the title :)
So, I tried posting before around valentine's day but it didn't work as I hoped, but after some time I'm ready to give it another shot, so here it goes.
As stated above, I'm a 30 year old fella, living in Turkey right now (though I have a lot of free time and a pretty bizarre sleeping schedule so pretty much any timezone would be fine), I'm an IT graduate, also did a masters in UK before returning to my country, and now on the lookout for a sweet job. 1.90m (I believe that's about 6'3 if you prefer to measure things with your feet :p) and somewhat on the chubby side, but hopefully not for long (new years resolution gym memberships are over the roof :p (- a little update on that, I lost like 20kg since the new years eve so it's going pretty well -) . Overall I'd say I'm a rather chill and carefree person, can't say I'm very ambitious or competitive, I'm more the supportive and nurturing type.
As you would probably expect on Reddit, I'm kinda nerdy and I'm a huge gamer (PS4 and PC, with about 600+ games in library, yet you can still occasionally find me complaining that I can't find anything to play :p) , I love games with a passion :) To me they're nothing short of another form of art, and much more than a simple pastime. You don't necessarily need to be a gamer yourself, but I'd hope at least you're open minded and accepting towards it, but it's a huge bonus if you're also a gamer :)
I play a bit of everything but I don't really enjoy competitive games too much, but co-op games are right down my alley :) I mostly like RPGs and story driven games, huge FF fan, some other favourites would be God of War, Uncharted, The Last of Us, Death Stranding, RDR, Subnautica, GTAV, Skyrim, Hearthstone, Slay the Spire, Divinity, No Man's Sky, Disco Elysium, XCOM... okay, you know what, I don't think this list will stop anytime soon so I'll cut it short here, but you get the picture :p
I also love football, chess, snooker, reading some fantasy novels or interesting historical facts occasionally, also cinema and music. Music has a big place in my life, and I have a wide variety in my musical taste, and would love to exchange some songs :) My "liked songs" probably looks like a rollercoaster ride, it can go from opera to metal, then classical music into a western movie theme, anything goes :p
Also, I love animals! I don't have a pet right now but I've had various pets throughout my life such as chicks, fishes, birds, rabbits, a tiny turtle briefly, and a cat. And I want a Shiba Inu in the future, I love their chubby cheeks and silly smiles so much :) They doin' me a fascinate. ( Update on this: A pregnant stray cat kinda chose my balcony as her spot a few months ago, and I've been feeding her so now I have 4 kittens living in my balcony :))
I'm not a very outgoing person, on most days you can safely place a bet on me being at home. This is partly because I don't have any friends in the vicinity, I moved to a city where I literally don't know anyone other than family, and it's not easy for me to meet people with shared interests, so I try my luck online instead.
What else.. oh, I'm an atheist. I try to be respectful towards everyone's religious views as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat and convert me or condemn me etc, but I'd probably get along better with someone who's also not so religious, I suppose.
Ok, here come the important bits:
I've had a pretty lonely life and the few relationships I did have in the past always left me disappointed and frankly appalled at how people can be so rude to someone they care/cared about. But I can also say that those experiences made me realize more about who I am and what I want, and taught me to recognize and appreciate the honesty, openness, loyalty, kindness and compassion in people and I value that, and I think those would be the best things I have to offer (especially honesty is very important to me, I need to stress that). I think I'm a very gentle and caring soul who just yearns to find that special person to cherish my time with and share everything. I'm a hopeless romantic that thinks love is a very special thing and pretty much gives everything else their meaning. I want someone to share my day with, laugh together and cry together, someone to laugh at my silly puns and dad jokes ( so hopefully my goofiness could be something you enjoy, not something you 'tolerate') as well as have deep philosophical conversations with me every now and then. Someone who is open to share who they are, and someone I can be comfortable around and can just be myself with and trust completely.
Of course, I also know it takes time and effort to reach that level, and I think respect and communication should be the foundation of a good relationship. I always prefer to talk things out and be proactive and mature, rather than burying any issues, so I really appreciate straightforward people. I absolutely hate unnecessary drama and vanity. I'm willing to make the effort to really get to know someone and form a deep connection, so I'd hope for you to also be willing to make an effort and spend some time to get to know me, fair enough right?
Naturally, nobody is perfect and I have my flaws. I think one is probably my shaken self-esteem in certain aspects, and perhaps a slight fear of abandonment that lingers on from previous bad experiences. Being a romantic and sensitive guy with stupid ideals makes me a bit too naive and vulnerable I guess, because I often don't know how to deal with the rudeness displayed by people, and I'm afraid to think if I "toughen up" and become insensitized that would also mean losing touch with who I really am deep beneath, which is not what I want. So I really, genuinely want to be in the company of kind hearted souls, respectful and emphatic. If that sounds like you, then I'd be happy if we get to know each other better. But if you're the kind of person to "ghost" people, please spare us both the trouble and stay away, I find it extremely rude and disrespectful and nothing hurts more me more than that, I hate that this kind of rudeness is so common and accepted as a "norm" in today's society. I wish everyone could just be nicer and more respectful to each other.
As one of my favourite movie quotes goes: "The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it." So I seek someone who managed to keep that kid alive within :)
I'd be up for a long distance thing as we get to know each other and grow closer over time, and see where it goes, not exactly in a rush. I think it can be a good starting point because it allows us to focus on each other's thoughts and feelings and personality, rather than sex, and if you can love someone for those qualities then it can be a solid and lasting relationship. And if we don't seem to click on that level, we can always be good friends too.
In short, if you're a kind, talkative, honest and witty person I'd like to know you!
submitted by ckursad to r4r [link] [comments]

Snooker 19 Gameplay  17 Minutes Of New Tech And New ... Snooker Betting System 2013 - by FlamingTorch Snooker - The Basics - YouTube Ronnie O’Sullivan: Betting is a part of Snooker culture Snooker Tips - YouTube

The good news is that those snooker matches that Betfair streams live for free will have more in-play markets available than other live matches. For example, James Wattana vs Jack Lisowski, a free snooker match shown by Betfair on 18 th August 2018, had 11 live markets, including handicap betting, race to 3 frames, correct score and frame handicap. A number of various betting establishments offer odds on live snooker and provide a large number of events and venues to bet on. These wagers can vary from who will win a match to the outright winner, however the premise of live betting adds for more variation and opportunity during the course of the game. Get free snooker betting predictions from our expert throughout the year for all tournaments, including the World Championships. As well as Snooker betting predictions, OLBG provides todays best bets on more than 20 other sports, with the most popular of todays bets available on the betting picks page. Bet on Snooker with Coral. Get the latest Snooker odds pre-event and in-play. Coral offers great odds and live results, join today and start to win! Browse Snooker in-play betting markets available right now, and place a live bet with Paddy Power™. Bet In-Play Cash Out Live Betting

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Snooker 19 Gameplay 17 Minutes Of New Tech And New ...

The basics of snooker featuring: - Equipment - Setup - Balls - Point System Women Can Play Snooker - HotSnooker Shots - Duration: 2:43. ... Press Play to Watch - Tennis Betting System Introduction - Duration: 2:28. FlamingTorchVideos 7,399 views. 2:28. Ninh explains the Rules of Snooker - a popular cue sports table game from England. This is a beginner's explanation of Snooker Rules. Watch this short video ... From Nottingham in the United Kingdom, Barry Stark is a highly regarded 'World Snooker' Senior Coach. He has a professional teaching background with a wealth... Break from Life Snooker we guide players how to play Snooker. Potting technique, aiming system and technical snooker tips. We are a serious Snooker Channel with a comedy element.

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