Paddy Power In-Shop Winnings Can Now Be Claimed Online ...

How I earn a Full-time income online + Offers & More

So first start by saying I have "Real" Online work but it requires me to work about 30 mins a day... I work on this other stuff 8-10 hours a day and earn a full-time income alone from this stuff alone...
I'm not including any affiliate signs ups I get when I say earning a living from this
I highly advise you get a cheap Laptop to work on... You cant use your phone ( for the work stuff )
I would recommend something like a Thinkpad 430i, I'm pretty sure I bought one for £85 as I needed a cheap laptop for something else and its been solid
normally they come with dud batteries, You can find a replacement HERE
Appen | non-ref ( I will get $25 if you work I think its 100 hours )
Neevo
Clickworker | non-Ref ( I will get 5 when you earn 10 )
Prolific.co
Populus Live
GG2U $1 Bonus | non-ref ( No Bonus ) - I will get 5% of what you earn
Timebucks(I think $1 bonus) | Non-Ref ( No Bonus ) - I will earn 15% of what you earn

Panelbase - Sign up HERE ( Quidco £10 Bonus )| Non- Ref ( No Bonus ) - Quidco will pay you £0.80p to sign up and if you sign up through my link you will also get a £10 bonus on Quidco when you reach £5 cashback
Some decent surveys on here, I normally check and do them when they are over £1

I mainly focus my time on Appen, If there is no work on Appen then I will see if there are tasks on Neevo if not then I move to the other sites... I only use the lower-paying survey sites when I have nothing else to do
I still do have something that guaranteed you money regardless, So even if I have a slow do saying this there is no pressure because my other work is there. This past week happen has been slow for me but I was able to smash out thousands of tasks on Neevo which made that up
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Here is also some good offers on a few different sites, They should be the highest paying for that offer
TopCashBack - REF (£5 BONUS ) | NON-REF( NO BONUS)
You will get the bonus once you reach £10 payable cashback
Once you have signed up, here are the offers
They also have a £15 Cashback on a Just Eat order of £15, Worth it for some free food
Betfair Poker - £50 Cashback for signing up and playing £10 of poker | £10 Spend
GiffGaff - £10 Cashback - Order and activate a new sim, The Cheapest package is £6
SearchLoto - £0.82 - Create your account, Make 25 Searched, and use Free Ticket.
Experian - £3 - Sign up for a new account
Graze - £2.47, Order your first box then cancel when it arrives
Totally Money - £2.10 - Make an account and get a free credit report
Tastecard - £3.30 - Free 2 Months trial
Booking buddy - 2p ( Can do 3x per day ) - Make a search.
Quidco - REF ( £10 Bonus ) | NON-REF ( NO BONUS )
Bonus is once you reach £5 cashback
Azimo - £25 Cashback - Make a Minimum Transfer of £151 ( Send the transfer to your other account )
Paddy Power Games £20 Cashback - Deposit and wager £10
Panelbase - £0.80p - Create an account and do a survey ( I highly recommend using this site )
Pick My Postcode - £.80p - Create an account.
booking buddy - 2p ( Can do 3x per day ) - Make a search.
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Swagbucks - REF ( Around £4 BONUS ) | NON-REF ( NO BONUS )
To get the £4 bonus you need to earn 300SB in your first month, Since the offers at the bottom I would do the two offers listed, Then make the rest up by doing 3/4 Surveys but other than this please do not waste your time on Swagbucks doing surveys, I only do them if to complete swago or if they are pretty high paying.
AyeT- CyberGhost VPN Free Trial - 54SB
Adgem - Norton VPN Free Trial - 63SB
100SB Bonus - Install the Swagbutton
Rise of Kingdoms - 4000SB - Get to hall Level 17
Lottoland - 1300SB - Click the offer and it will take you to the sign-up and will cost £1 ( Make sure auto-renewal isn't on )
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GG2U - REF( I think you get $1 Bonus ) | NON-REF ( No $1 if there is a bonus )
William hill ( Find this under Gaming Offers ) - Deposit £10 and wager £10 - Around £27 Back
Normally the Gala offers pay higher but none of them are available anywhere, Normally pay around £40, on TCB or Quidco but they have no offers right now for them
---
Ysense - REF( Don't think there is a bonus |NON - REF
Click Offers, Then Offertory
Final Fantasy 100K Power - $10.16. I did this before and I spent £1 and completed really quickly, It was an XP reward I bought, It gave millions of Hero XP which gave enough power
I highly advise you don't waste time on this site doing surveys
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Lionbridge - Like happen but this is more strict and I also found Appen paid more for the Project I am on.
Teamwork- Like Appen and Lionbridge, I have done some work for them in the past everything was fine and paid on time.
Apple at Home Advisor - Work at home Advisor for Apple. Pretty sure they send you an iMac to work on tho I could be wrong
Pretty sure Amazon has remote work also. If you google a company and then "Remote" or at home, It should let you see if they have work
-
I had these 3 on a list Its transcription work but Appen, Lionbridge, and Teamwork offer this and probably best going for them.
Rev
transcribeme
GoTranscript
----
Sites/Apps that are legit + my thoughts on them
Swagbucks ( Around £4 Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
I only do offers on here but I always check other sites before doing them to see if better paying elsewhere and I do swago when it comes up - Do not do surveys unless they are offering a few £ as they normally DQ - Only do Offers, Don't waste your time on anything else
Serpclix| non-ref
You install the plugin and it pops up with a task to search for a website... I barely use it but I would say its worth using for some extra cash ( Some users say £10-£30 a month on here )
Branded Surveys| non-ref
Had a few payouts, Too many DQ would avoid unless nothing else
Life Points
Had some decent paying surveys, But too many DQ.. I would personally avoid
Qmee ( 50p Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
In my opinion, it's not worth the time, I do probably 1 or 2 surveys per week and I only touch the ones 75p + unless they take to long... I don't think you should focus anytime on it unless you have nothing else.
Ysense
Don't waste your time, I listed an offer for it above other than them offers.. Don't bother, People only want sign-ups to this cause they pay like 15% of earnings and I think around £5 when someone reached a certain amount
SliceThePie- Don't bother, Its clearly about 10p an hour
HoneyGain ($5 Bonus I think ) | Non- Ref ( No Bonus )
It uses your unused internet in the background, it's perfectly safe personally for me I've not had much luck but it comes down to location and how many devices you are using
20Cogs ( £20 Bonus on cashout ) | Non-ref ( No Bonus )
This is legit but most offers do pay better elsewhere and you need to hit 20 confirmed cogs before they payout, I have done offers on here and have my 20cogs pending but make sure you always check other sites to make sure you are getting the most amount of profit... I mostly do offers on here that I have not seen anywhere else.
PrizeRebel - Don't waste your time.
Microworkers - Can pay decent if you can rattle off some fast task but - Its a pain to get paid, Customer service pretty much ignores you and a lot of the jobs and links are sketchy as hell
---
I know nothing about this stuff but you can also teach English online and get paid for it. You might need an ESL certificate. The pay is pretty decent if you can get work If this is something you are interested in I highly advise you do some research for it because its decent work
vipkid- Teach English to kids online, If you want to find more I would advise you to look through Reddit as a lot of users on here use this for work, There are more sites than just this that you can work for, I think they pay from $15-$25 per hour.
QKid- Same as vipkid teaching English online- I think this pays up to $20 per hour
gogokid- Teach English Online $14-25 per hour
There will be more sites than this but these are the ones I know of.
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Amazon FBA
I don't recommend you bring crap in from china there is enough of that,,, My advise would start small, Start by Buying stock from Supermarkets or other online retailers this is called retail arbitrage and then sending that in but make sure you are allowed to sell in that category, also if your going down the video game route that you sell Used video games and older back catalog titles as these hold higher profit margins than new stock, Lego, Toys, etc are good things to keep an eye out for you can also look for this sort of stuff on the Facebook market place
There is very little profit in new stock unless you can pick it up and most of the time you'd be selling at a loss because the big retailers can sell it for the price you buy it
Use Amazons courier ( they use ups) it's like £5 to send in a 15KG Box
Get the hang of it to figure out what works for YOU! Don't follow anyone on youtube and what they say to do... Of course, if you want to make serious money which you can do, You will need to get suppliers, etc but no one will tell you where to get these, and the ones found easily through google search will make you very little if any money using... Here is also some things I recommend using ( I use them or have used them )
Barcode Scanner ( I only use my PC so need scanner )
Barcode Scanner With Stand
Epson XP-3100
FBA Labels
Bags - I use a mixture of different one but these are fine for smaller things.
You don't need to buy the best printer or anything like that these work perfectly fine... You only need that stuff if you're doing thousands of labels per day
As I said before, Don't be scared to try this its actually pretty fun and can make good money just please people on youtube UK and US, Try it see what works for you
Also Amazon handmade but I still think Facebook is a great way to start selling handmade stuff ( if its quality )
-
Gambling
First, I recommend you don't touch anything to do with this stuff if you have any mental health problems, feel lonely, etc this can ruin your life if you go off the deep end
Matched Betting - You can make good money from this and I think everyone should do it, It's not complicated once you get the hang of it but don't use Profit Accumulator or the other one that charges £17 a month, in my opinion, it isn't worth it ... You could use something like Team Profit to get the hang of it and then take the £1 profit accumulator trial then get more info from there but cancel before the £17 month
The more money you have to do this the more you're going to make, It can be pretty slow if you are starting with a low amount of money but when you're doing these, Make sure you check cashback sites or offerwalls to see if they will pay you for signing up
People promote PA because they have a good affiliate program

Gambling CPA/RS
This is different and you need a website or social media platform, You would have deals with the casinos, Bookmakers, etc But the money, if you get it right, is absolutely ridiculous... This is why you see these guys on youtube spinning such high amount of cash on the casino, If you are good at building sites or have a boatload of cash to chuck at this
You would post them and when people sign up through your link you could be on CPA ( Cost per Acquisition ) RS= Revenue share, So you would get % of a player losses or you could be on a hybrid
This money is life-changing if you get it right but since there is so much cash it is not easy... These sites are spending 10s of thousands a month to be at the top search results.
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Cashback Websites
JoinHoney | non-ref - Saves you money by searching for coupon codes, I place a monthly order on a website and it saves me between 20-40 each time, Well worth installing when you shop online
TopCashBack (£5 Bonus ) | nonref ( No Bonus )
£5 Bonus once you reach £10 payable cashback, I listed some good deals at the top of the post ( Check yourself for more on the site ) Also can save money when shopping online
Quidco (£10 Bonus) |non-ref ( No bonus )
You get the £10 bonus once you reach £5 cashback, Same as top cashback... Some offers listed above and you can also get cashback shopping online
--
My favorite Offer
Xendpay (£10 Bonus | non-ref( No bonus )
Sign up and Verify your account, Make a transfer of £100 and you will get £10 free.. You can just transfer the money to yourself but you will need an account that takes euros as you need to send £ to euro
-
Before you sign up to an offer on this sub, Please check on cashback sites to see if they pay more than a ref link, Example is the Azimo link it has been posted on this sub on the past few days, You only get £10 from that but you will get £25 through Quidco + £10 bonus if you are new to the site
There is also a scam that's posted a lot on Reddit, They claim to pay you $25 to sign up then $25 per person you sign up, This is a scam they go by a few different names sites all look the same with the same fake payouts
I hope this helps someone out.
submitted by StrangeDeal6 to beermoneyuk [link] [comments]

Making a Full Time income online (UK) + Offers + Money Bonuses

So first start by saying I have "Real" Online work but it requires me to work about 30 mins a day... I work on this other stuff 8-10 hours a day and earn a full-time income alone from this stuff alone... I do not include any ref links or other affiliate sign-ups I get.
I highly advise you get a cheap Laptop to work on... You cant use your phone ( for the work stuff )
I would recommend something like a Thinkpad 430i, I'm pretty sure I bought one for £85 as I needed a cheap laptop for something else and its been solid
normally they come with dud batteries, You can find a replacement HERE
Appen | non-ref ( I will get $25 if you work I think its 100 hours )
Neevo
Clickworker | non-Ref ( I will get 5 or 10 when you earn 5
Prolific.co
Populus Live
GG2U $1 Bonus | non-ref ( No Bonus ) - I will get 5% of what you earn
Timebucks(I think $1 bonus) | Non-Ref ( No Bonus ) - I will earn 15% of what you earn
Everything above this is what I use almost every day unless I have a lot of work on Appen I just keep on that
Panelbase - Sign up HERE ( Quidco £10 Bonus )| Non- Ref ( No Bonus ) - Quidco will pay you £0.80p to sign up and if you sign up through my link you will also get a £10 bonus on Quidco when you reach £5 cashback
Some decent surveys on here, I normally check and do them when they are over £1
-----
Here is also some good offers on a few different sites, They should be the highest paying for that offer
TopCashBack - REF (£5 BONUS ) | NON-REF( NO BONUS)
You will get the bonus once you reach £10 payable cashback
Once you have signed up, here are the offers
They also have a £15 Cashback on a Just Eat order of £15, Worth it for some free food
Betfair Poker - £50 Cashback for signing up and playing £10 of poker | £10 Spend
GiffGaff - £10 Cashback - Order and activate a new sim, The Cheapest package is £6
SearchLoto - £0.82 - Create your account, Make 25 Searched, and use Free Ticket.
Experian - £3 - Sign up for a new account
Graze - £2.47, Order your first box then cancel when it arrives
Totally Money - £2.10 - Make an account and get a free credit report
Tastecard - £3.30 - Free 2 Months trial
Booking buddy - 2p ( Can do 3x per day ) - Make a search.
Quidco - REF ( £10 Bonus ) | NON-REF ( NO BONUS )
Bonus is once you reach £5 cashback
Azimo - £25 Cashback - Make a Minimum Transfer of £151 ( Send the transfer to your other account )
Paddy Power Games £20 Cashback - Deposit and wager £10
Panelbase - £0.80p - Create an account and do a survey ( I highly recommend using this site )
Pick My Postcode - £.80p - Create an account.
booking buddy - 2p ( Can do 3x per day ) - Make a search.
----
Swagbucks - REF ( Around £4 BONUS ) | NON-REF ( NO BONUS )
To get the £4 bonus you need to earn 300SB in your first month, Since the offers at the bottom I would do the two offers listed, Then make the rest up by doing 3/4 Surveys but other than this please do not waste your time on Swagbucks doing surveys, I only do them if to complete swago or if they are pretty high paying.
AyeT- CyberGhost VPN Free Trial - 54SB
Adgem - Norton VPN Free Trial - 63SB
100SB Bonus - Install the Swagbutton
Rise of Kingdoms - 4000SB - Get to hall Level 17
Lottoland - 1300SB - Click the offer and it will take you to the sign-up and will cost £1 ( Make sure auto-renewal isn't on )
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GG2U - REF( I think you get $1 Bonus ) | NON-REF ( No $1 if there is a bonus )
William hill ( Find this under Gaming Offers ) - Deposit £10 and wager £10 - Around £27 Back
Normally the Gala offers pay higher but none of them are available anywhere, Normally pay around £40, on TCB or Quidco but they have no offers right now for them
---
Ysense - REF( Don't think there is a bonus |NON - REF
Click Offers, Then Offertory
Final Fantasy 100K Power - $10.16. I did this before and I spent £1 and completed really quickly, It was an XP reward I bought, It gave millions of Hero XP which gave enough power
I highly advise you don't waste time on this site doing surveys
----
Lionbridge - Like happen but this is more strict and I also found Appen paid more for the Project I am on.
Teamwork- Like Appen and Lionbridge, I have done some work for them in the past everything was fine and paid on time.
Apple at Home Advisor - Work at home Advisor for Apple. Pretty sure they send you an iMac to work on tho I could be wrong
Pretty sure Amazon has remote work also. If you google a company and then "Remote" or at home, It should let you see if they have work
-
I had these 3 on a list Its transcription work but Appen, Lionbridge, and Teamwork offer this and probably best going for them.
Rev
transcribeme
GoTranscript
----
Sites/Apps that are legit + my thoughts on them
Swagbucks ( Around £4 Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
I only do offers on here but I always check other sites before doing them to see if better paying elsewhere and I do swago when it comes up - Do not do surveys unless they are offering a few £ as they normally DQ - Only do Offers, Don't waste your time on anything else
Serpclix| non-ref
You install the plugin and it pops up with a task to search for a website... I barely use it but I would say its worth using for some extra cash ( Some users say £10-£30 a month on here )
Branded Surveys| non-ref
Had a few payouts, Too many DQ would avoid unless nothing else
Life Points
Had some decent paying surveys, But too many DQ.. I would personally avoid
Qmee ( 50p Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
In my opinion, it's not worth the time, I do probably 1 or 2 surveys per week and I only touch the ones 75p + unless they take to long... I don't think you should focus anytime on it unless you have nothing else.
Ysense
Don't waste your time, I listed an offer for it above other than them offers.. Don't bother, People only want sign-ups to this cause they pay like 15% of earnings and I think around £5 when someone reached a certain amount
SliceThePie- Don't bother, Its clearly about 10p an hour
HoneyGain ($5 Bonus I think ) | Non- Ref ( No Bonus )
It uses your unused internet in the background, it's perfectly safe personally for me I've not had much luck but it comes down to location and how many devices you are using
20Cogs ( £20 Bonus on cashout ) | Non-ref ( No Bonus )
This is legit but most offers do pay better elsewhere and you need to hit 20 confirmed cogs before they payout, I have done offers on here and have my 20cogs pending but make sure you always check other sites to make sure you are getting the most amount of profit... I mostly do offers on here that I have not seen anywhere else.
PrizeRebel - Don't waste your time.
Microworkers - Can pay decent if you can rattle off some fast task but - Its a pain to get paid, Customer service pretty much ignores you and a lot of the jobs and links are sketchy as hell
---
I know nothing about this stuff but you can also teach English online and get paid for it. You might need an ESL certificate. The pay is pretty decent if you can get work If this is something you are interested in I highly advise you do some research for it because its decent work
vipkid- Teach English to kids online, If you want to find more I would advise you to look through Reddit as a lot of users on here use this for work, There are more sites than just this that you can work for, I think they pay from $15-$25 per hour.
QKid- Same as vipkid teaching English online- I think this pays up to $20 per hour
gogokid- Teach English Online $14-25 per hour
There will be more sites than this but these are the ones I know of.
----
Amazon FBA
I don't recommend you bring crap in from china there is enough of that,,, My advise would start small, Start by Buying stock from Supermarkets or other online retailers this is called retail arbitrage and then sending that in but make sure you are allowed to sell in that category, also if your going down the video game route that you sell Used video games and older back catalog titles as these hold higher profit margins than new stock, Lego, Toys, etc are good things to keep an eye out for you can also look for this sort of stuff on the Facebook market place
There is very little profit in new stock unless you can pick it up and most of the time you'd be selling at a loss because the big retailers can sell it for the price you buy it
Use Amazons courier ( they use ups) it's like £5 to send in a 15KG Box
You need to start, Get the hang of it to figure out what works for YOU! Don't follow anyone on youtube and what they say to do... Of course, if you want to make serious money which you can do, You will need to get suppliers, etc but no one will tell you where to get these and the ones found easily through google search will make you very little if any money using... Here is also some things I recommend using ( I use them or have used them )
Amazon handmade is also good ( That's if you make stuff )
Barcode Scanner ( I only use my PC so need scanner )
Barcode Scanner With Stand
Epson XP-3100
FBA Labels
Bags - I use a mixture of different one but these are fine for smaller things.
You don't need to buy the best printer or anything like that these work perfectly fine... You only need that stuff if you're doing thousands of labels per day
As I said before, Don't be scared to try this its actually pretty fun and can make good money just please people on youtube UK and US, Try it see what works for you
-
Gambling
First, I recommend you don't touch anything to do with this stuff if you have any mental health problems, feel lonely, etc this can ruin your life if you go off the deep end
Matched Betting - You can make good money from this and I think everyone should do it, It's not complicated once you get the hang of it but don't use Profit Accumulator or the other one that charges £17 a month, in my opinion, it isn't worth it ... You could use something like Team Profit to get the hang of it and then take the £1 profit accumulator trial then get more info from there but cancel before the £17 month
People promote PA because they have a good affiliate program
Gambling CPA/RS
This is different and you need a website or social media platform, You would have deals with the casinos, Bookmakers, etc But the money, if you get it right, is absolutely ridiculous... This is why you see these guys on youtube spinning such high amount of cash, If you are good at building sites or have a boatload of cash to chuck at this
You would post them and when people sign up through your link you could be on CPA ( Cost per Acquisition ) RS= Revenue share, So you would get % of a player losses or you could be on a hybrid
This money is life-changing if you get it right but since there is so much cash it is not easy... These sites are spending 10s of thousands a month to be at the top search results.
----
There is a lot of people on here that don't post their links on threads and I don't know why
Trading212 (£3-£80 bonus) | non-ref ( no bonus )
Sign up and Verify your account, Then deposit £1 and you will get a free random share between £3-£80
the sign-ups have come from that thread, I have had 3 sign-ups and got £45, This is why you should your links in these threads.( I don't post it anywhere else )
Post it in HERE
----
Cashback Websites
JoinHoney | non-ref - Saves you money by searching for coupon codes, I place a monthly order on a website and it saves me between 20-40 each time, Well worth installing when you shop online
TopCashBack (£5 Bonus ) | nonref ( No Bonus )
£5 Bonus once you reach £10 payable cashback, I listed some good deals at the top of the post ( Check yourself for more on the site ) Also can save money when shopping online
Quidco (£10 Bonus) |non-ref ( No bonus )
You get the £10 bonus once you reach £5 cashback, Same as top cashback... Some offers listed above and you can also get cashback shopping online
--
My favorite Offer
Xendpay (£10 Bonus | non-ref( No bonus )
Sign up and Verify your account, Make a transfer of £100 and you will get £10 free.. You can just transfer the money to yourself but you will need an account that takes euros as you need to send £ to euro
-
Before you sign up to an offer on this sub, Please check on cashback sites to see if they pay more than a ref link, Example is the Azimo link it has been posted on this sub on the past few days, You only get £10 from that but you will get £25 through Quidco + £10 bonus if you are new to the site
Things I would avoid
Rebate Websites, Lazybucks (They use your personal Facebook and run ads)
There is also a scam that's posted a lot on Reddit, They claim to pay you $25 to sign up then $25 per person you sign up, This is a scam they go by a few different names sites all look the same with the same fake payouts
I hope this helps someone out.
submitted by StrangeDeal6 to RealOnlineWork [link] [comments]

William Hill stock plummets 10% in a week

Does anyone understand what is happening with this stock?
Similar companies GVC holdings (Ladbrokes) and Flutter Entertainment (Paddy Power) seem to be fairing better. I understand it's a "sin" stock, so maybe it's karma. :)
Would I be advised to hold or average down?
I thought it would be a good bet (pardon the pun) considering the owner of a rival bookmaker bought 3% of William Hill shares a couple of months ago. And I thought, what with non-essential shops opening, it would have a real boost.
submitted by burningmuscles to trading212 [link] [comments]

OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…11

Continuing…
That being handled, I leave a wakeup call for 0430 as I want a shower and a couple shower-sunrisers before we leave. It takes me about 10 minutes to pack. I call home to let Es know what’s going on. She’s not in, so I leave a message. Same for my friends Rack and Ruin of the Agency. They’re thrilled so far with my reports.
The security forces here are absolutely going to freak if they reverse-review my phone records once we leave.
Covert? Schmovert. I’m too old for playing such games.
The next morning, after a sudsy shower and a couple of vodka-infused shower-beers; I’m in the lobby with all my kit, checked-out, and waiting on the tour leader. My passport was stamp-stamp-stampity-stamped here at the hotel, which I thought was weird, but after spending time in this here country, not all that unusual.
At 0545 on the dime, the tour bus pulls into the lot. Without a word, bellhops grab near all my kit and escort it out to the waiting bus.
After tipping each extravagantly, I fire up a huge cigar, and wander around outside, loitering by the bus. I see members of my team at the front desk, checking out. Everything’s been paid for already, they just have to sign documents that they’re not secreting hotel towels or televisions or errant nationals in their luggage.
It’s a weird country.
I see them loading box breakfasts for us as well as box lunches on the bus.
Hell, they’re actually doing ‘field trip’ correctly.
If the bus us fueled up, we can go for days at this rate. There are several coolers bearing the hotel’s brand and I sidle over to see what they’re carrying.
Case after case of iced-down beer and a couple of cases of various high-octane potables; and over there? A couple of boxes of mixers…ah, soda…pop…carbonated citrusy goodness.
“OK”, I sigh, “All is as it should be. Now the field excursion may begin.”
My teammates filter outside as does their luggage. I suggest they get out and keep what is necessary for preliminary outcrop excursions; such as a backpack or knapsack, hammer, acid bottles, field notebooks, Brunton compass, lighters, cameras, personal tobacco products, and the like in the bus. That way, we don’t have to go tearing through all the luggage at every stop.
I pull out a bundle of 100 Hubco™ large geological dual-sample bags. That’s right: ‘dual’ sample…
I distribute these to everyone on the team. I ask that they devise their own numbering system and make absolutely certain I have a copy of it when we’re done. I’ll be correlating and curating all the samples when we get back to the world.
I ask that a cooler of drinks are left on board the bus, rather than in the hold. It’s humid, sticky, and muggy today. We must expend valiant effort in remaining hydrated and this will help.
Luckily, the bus has on-board lavatory facilities.
We are seated on the bus, my 10 collective team members, myself, our 4 ‘guides’, ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’; our driver, relief driver, one incredibly shy national geologist, Myung-Dae Soo, and four of the shiny suit clan.
The hotel wheels out a large cart laden with pastries and a huge coffee urn. A bit of a “Bon Voyage” from the casino and bar crowd, as they put this together for us when they heard we were leaving.
“Hey. That’s really nice of them.” Dax notes.
Dax handed over our raw “elevator waiting” funds as we didn’t have time to run it through the casino-machine before we left. We donated over 75,000 won to our friends at the bar, casino, and massage parlor. The ones delivering our going away present assured us it would be divided equitably.
“It best be”, I laughed, “You never know when one of us might be back!”
There was a collective horrified look on their faces for the merest moments. Then they all laughed and said that they hoped we would return someday soon.
“Nice folks”, I thought, “Stupid as shit country, but nice folks.”
We had all separately left tips for the room maids, bellmen, and matrons back before we checked-out.
There was a flurry of handshaking and goodbyes. Not a bad hotel experience here in the so-called land of Best Korea.
Serious dark coffee was passed out amongst the riders, but Ivan, myself, and Dax were already giving one of my emergency flasks a workout.
Ivan smiled and said: “We drink our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterward. HA!”
Ivan and I are cut from the same bolt.
Faux-doughnuts, pseudo-bear claws and fake-long johns all distributed; the bus is fired up, and rumbling. We are exhorted to watch our drinks as we pull away from the hotel and into the wilds of Northern Korea.
I’m humming away:

On the road again -Just can't wait to get on the road again,
The life I love is bashing rocks in the field with my friends.
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again.
Goin' places that we've never been,
Seein' things that we may never see again…
--
“Rock?”, Dax inquires.
“Yes?” I reply.
“Do please shut up.”
“Music hater”, I muse and comply.
We’re rolling down the highway, as it were, headed generally north. We all have cameras of one kind or another; and rather than relieve us of them, they quietly and without much fuss, slowly darken the windows.
They claim it’s to keep the sun out and temperatures down, but just before things go all black, we’re seeing sights and scenes of the true North Korea. They’re trying to keep us from seeing that en route to the outcrops.
This new bus has some sort of electronic tint-control gizmo for the windows. However, if one has a pair of polarizing sunglasses, as all good field geologists do, you see right past that and can view the passing scenery unencumbered.
I return from a quick beer-recycling loo trip and am amused to see 10 Western scientists, sitting in a blacked-out bus, all wearing polarizing sunglasses.
It was just the surreal note this trip needed as we left the confines of the capital city.
We traveled north, and the empties pile began to grow. We had a few trash bags we had liberated from the hotel, but the shiny suits were very insistent that every empty can, bottle, and bag, yes they had beer in bags…had to be repatriated to a box in the far back of the bus.
Evidently, they either were paid a bounty on each container or were accountable for each vessel. They were soon to realize just the capacity for drink that a group of 11 seasoned very Senior Field Geologists, and one stowaway geologist-in-training can amass.
As we ply our way northward, we see the agricultural side of North Korea. The contrast between rural areas and the capital was striking. There were miles of rice paddies being harvested by people with sickles in their hands. And no cars on the highway. It was most destabilizing for this Westerner.
I think we saw a maximum of three tractors, as most of the work was done with ox power, there was very little evidence of rural electrification. Oh, hold on. We saw many more tractors, I should correct that: we saw three running and not rusted into oblivion tractors.
The farmers we see are using equipment that is quite literally medieval - single-share plows pulled by large, cranky bovines; sweeping sickles to bring in the harvest, and twin-engine, bilateral, botanical-fired ox-carts to transport it. It’s hard to believe that this third-world level of poverty exists in the same country that’s capable of building rockets, nuclear weapons, and tall, well-appointed hotels.
But when we stop at a motorway service station for fuel - a bizarre alien spaceship-like building squatting over the empty carriageways - we do encounter a jangmadang, or semi-official market. Here they are selling cans of knock-off Vietnamese Red Bull and Malaysian-made King Cobra™ Cola.
It reminds me of Russia right after the wall fell. Off the Trans-Siberian Railway in Krasnoyarsk, the Gateway to Eastern Siberia. You can buy Chinese hams, Chinese sodas, Chinese knock-off liquor, and those bloody delicious little bullets of Vitamin-C, Chinese mandarins.
Here, it’s similar. You can get most anything you desire, except it isn’t of Korean manufacture. That stuff is even too shitty to pawn off on tourists.
Instead, it’s knock-off Malaysian, Chinese, or Indonesian beer, wine, or soft drinks.
“Tiger-brand energy drink. Now with 40% more real tiger.” Here? I believe them.
Vodka from everywhere not known for its vodka distilling prowess. Rural hotel shops sell nastily stale crisps, gummy gummies, filling-ripping ‘chewy’ taffy or caramel, and biscuits with a severely limited choice. Rural hotels do not have full electricity so beer is warm and often tossed on the table, waiting for tourists to arrive - as is the food. We were warned to be prepared for cold rice, cold fish, cold potato – and plenty of kimchi and tofu.
Back on the road again, we’re passing small burgs that are not on any of our maps; even the ones we traded for back in the hotel that are specially marked: “For Internal Use ONLY!”.
They were amazingly the same. Clean. Bright. Uncluttered. And attended by cadres of prim, uniform-clad, though non-military people. They were all doing a day’s work keeping everything neat and clean.
There were no cars, trucks, forklifts…only rickshaws and ox-carts. However every one of these ‘towns’ were identical, and exactly, as Ivan pointed out, ‘X’ number of minutes apart.
“Watch! Is so!”, Ivan said. We passed one of these villages, and exactly 3 minutes later, an exact copy. Three minutes later? Another one. 3 more minutes? Xerox-city.
“What the fuck?” Dax asked.
“Potemkin village.” Comrade Dr. Academician Ivan replied.
A Potemkin village is any construction, literal or figurative, whose sole purpose is to provide an external façade to a country which is faring poorly. It is for making people believe that the country is faring better, although statistics and data would suggest otherwise.
“Russia pioneered the process,” Ivan noted with no small amount of pride. “During Cold War with West, entire cities were built, moved, raised, and razed. Ever hear of Krasnoyarsk-25? Atomic Research City? Supposed place of weapons study and manufacture. Huge ‘accident’. Entire city demolished, total populace relocated supposedly, after massive nuclear calamity.”
“Is that true? Cliff asks.
“No. Not at all.” Ivan smiles, “Deliberate misinformation. At least for K-25. It was diversion for actual towns where accidents; nuclear, biological, or worse, had happened. West so concerned about K-25 because it was big, near big capital city of Krasnoyarsk and suitably located out in the taiga. Easy to spot, easy to watch. Kept Western satellites busy while real towns of I-33, U-10, and AR-13 out in the forest were quietly demolished and people relocated or mass buried after some horrible, horrible accidents...”
“You think it’s the same here?” I asked Ivan.
“No, Dr. Rock”, Ivan smiled, and helped himself to my freshly constructed, but untouched, Yorshch, “This is all fake and bluster. Make West think everything is all A-OK, is that right idiom?”
“Yep.” I reply, “Precisely.”
“Make West believe all is OK and green”, as he winks at me, “And bustling and growing. Cover up what is real case here. We all see it and we see right through. Shoddy even for Asians.”
We all had to snicker and smirk as the shiny suit squad, who sat up at the front of the bus, and were not supposed to be listening; reacted like every cell in their bodies were just hit with a drop of pure lemon juice.
“Comrade Dr. Academician. Decorum, please.” I snickered.
“Oh, fuck them!”, Ivan replied, “I am old Russian. They try and pull burlap over my eyes? St. Petersburg? Moscow? Krasnoyarsk.? I’ve been there, seen them. They think this display of tawdriness…Even goofy American and Canadian can see the fakes they are. Britisher? I’m not so sure…”
“Damn, Doctor., I said to Ivan, “You’re just making friends all over the planet today.”
We all knew it was in jest; but the shiny suit squad certainly had their feathers ruffled and either didn’t care or wanted us to know we were under their observation.
“Fuck them twice”, Ivan said, “Ask them for bottle opener. I’m too lazy to search for my field jackknife.”
I hand him my pocket Leatherman and he pries the top of another bottle of ‘Budveiser’ beer.
“They can’t even make fake the name correctly”, he smirks and drains the bottle.
‘Town’ after ‘town’ and even that parade gets uninteresting. We’re headed north and finally come to a crossroads.
The bus driver, who must be a regular paranoid-maniac because he actually stopped to look for oncoming traffic, which we have seen precisely none since leaving the capital city, made a hard right. We’re heading back and up into the hills, leaving the bright lights of the big city far behind.
After an hour or so of driving, we pull off to the left-hand side of the road.
“Rock, Ivan, Cliff…holy shit, look at this!” Dax was uncharacteristically excited.
It was an open field that leads to a series of low outcrops of polychromatic, obviously sedimentary rocks. Magentas, greens, purples, rust-reds, browns, blacks, olive greens…holy shit. A real sedimentary pile.
We filed out of the bus with our field gear. The shiny suit squad started in with a bullhorn.
“You will wait for tour guides!”
“You will listen to group leaders!”
“You will not stray from the designated paths set up…”
No one heard them as the group of 11 remaining Western geoscientists were already across the highway and hieing for the exposures like outcrop-seeking multiple-warhead re-entry vehicles.
“You must wait!” we heard from exasperated voices back at the bus. “You must stop!”
“You must piss off!” Cliff said, “This is what we’ve been waiting over two weeks to see!”
“They are very angry with us”, Myung-dae the young Korean geologist said. “I find that just too bad.”
“And you are?” I asked.
Myung-dae Soo, the young Korean geologist, introduced himself.
“Well”, I said, “Welcome aboard. I’m Dr. Rock.”
“They are very, very angry”, he repeats.
“So? Are you tagging along to give them internal reports?” I asked.
“No, Doctor”, he replied, “I too am a geologist. I want to get away from those assholes and see some real rocks.”
“Who are you with?” I ask, “What group?”
“I am 5th-year student at Pyongyang College. I am not officially here. We were told in class that you were coming. I decided to see if I could join you. This morning, I was standing by bus and they thought I was hotel worker or orderly. I was given cooler full of beer and told to find place for it on the bus. I did and after that, just stayed in the back. I am stowaway. I am ashamed, but I had to see for myself. But, I like Western field trips so far!”
“No shit? Well, then”, I said, “Double welcome aboard. None of this ‘I am ashamed’ shit. You’re a geologist, but you haven’t even worked through your first field-evening get-together with us. But this is no pleasure cruise. It’s real work, real geology, real serious science shit. You savvy?”
“Yes, sir, Doctor Rocknocker from Sultanate in the Middle East.” Myung-dae smiled.
“And you fucking stay close to me”, I smirked.
I fired a couple of BLAAATS! from my portable air horn.
“Field Meeting! Field Meeting! Assholes & Elbows!” I called aloud.
Everyone gathered within earshot.
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. We do not know how long we’ve got here. So, let’s split up into teams. Geophysicists, go do your structural thing. Stratigraphers? Field relations. Geologists? Let’s go talk to some ronery-rooking-rocks. No offense, Mr. Myung.”
Myung-dae was laughing up a storm. He got that reference. He later told us all around the campfire he thought ‘Team America’ was a “fucking hilarious movie.”
Oh, we are going to be a real bad influence on this poor kid.
The groups spontaneously broke up into 4 or 5 sub-groups. They headed for areas they thought were important and they were photographing, measuring, pounding on rocks, and arguing within minutes.
“No, you idiot! It’s continental. Look at those adhesion ripples.”
“The fuck you know. It’s only a little low-level eggbeater tectonics. Where the fuck would you get continental collision-size energy around here?”
“Oh, the fuck you say. It’s non-marine. Those are mud cracks. Look at the sandy aeolian infill, fer chrissake.”
Formal? Proper? Detached Doctors of Geology?
Not when you’re in the field. It all goes out the window when different opinions collide like subducting plates.
“The music of my people!” I said to Morse.
“I thought that was the ‘Safety Dance’?” he chided.
“We’re a big family. We can have more than one.” I snickered.
We’re wandering around the site, with individual purpose.
We are looking for or looking at items of interest.
We’re hacking at the outcrops.
We’re all looking at…things.
It’s hard to describe. Get a load of geologists or geology students out of the office, lab, or classroom; stick them out on a bare expanse of heavily weathered rock and it’s simply…numinous.
We’re rebuilding worlds here.
This rock says this.
This rock says that.
And you’re not fluent in that dialect. Here, let me interpret for you…
We’re at each other’s throats, in the academic-metaphorical sense. Tempers have been known to run hot. There has been the occasional bloody nose or rocks sailing down an outcrop without the obligate “HEADACHE!” call. Hammers and Marsh Picks have ended up swimming without the owner’s knowledge.
But once we’re back; settled in the hotel room, tavern, or around the campfire, we’re all a Band of Brothers again. It’s an odd thing to watch; as if you’re not of the clan, you’d need an interpreter. It defies all boundaries: political, sexual, educational, geographical, linguistic, social, et cetera.
We’re all geologists first. We share the common scientific bond of Geology.
That’s why Geology is the First Science.
Plus we tend to drink a serious fucking whole bloody awful lot.
We’ve all been on that ‘crawlin’ home puker’.
We’ve also been to the ends of the earth: the deepest depths, the highest heights, we deal with the greatest pressures, the hottest temperatures; we’ve been to the mountain, we’ve seen the elephant, and we’ve held a bear’s nose to dogshit.
We wear the scars attained in our travels like badges of honor.
We’re God-Damned Scientists.
Back off, man. Geologist comin’ through.
Anyways, I’m looking at the bedding-plane boundaries between the purple unit and the underlying olive-green unit. The upper unit it looks, to me, continental in origin. Fluvial, perhaps. The lower unit is much finer-grained. Marine mudstone, perhaps? But what age?
The cadged Korean Geological maps are worse than useless. They never would go down to the outcrop scale. Consulting them, they don’t even note these exposures in a field sense.
Myung-dae, who is working about 35 meters down-section from me calls out, “Doctors! Sirs! Look here! I’ve found something!”
We all wander over as he is hacking away at the dusty, eroded rock. He stands and dusts off his find.
It’s a very large, nearly 1-meter diameter, coiled fossil cephalopod.
I wander over for a closer look. Dax, Cliff, Morse, and Ivan do as well.
“Blimey! Will you look at that? Outstanding, Mr. Myung!” Cliff says.
“Well, that confirms it. This layer, at least, is marine. Look at that suture pattern”, I say, dusting off an unweathered bit.
“Look at the radius of coiling.”, Cliff joins in.
We’re slowly wresting information out of this silent witness.
“Ornamentation?”, Dr. Ivan asks. “Knobs, bosses, and excrutions?” Oh, yes.”
In unison, we declare: “Hyphoplites!”
Morse adds, “And therefore…these rocks are middle Cretaceous. Marine. Not bad…”
“Need to get some samples for geochemical analysis. Dig deep, gentlemen, we need unweathered samples for TOC (Total Organic Carbon) content.”, Dr. Erlen Meyer notes.
With that, we have a relative age of the rock, a good idea of its depositional environment, and therefore extent, ideas of field relationships, and an indication of some of its fauna.
Could it be source rock worthy?
Samples? Best get diggin’, Beaumont.
That unit is right smack in the middle of this pile of rocks. Dax and I will work up-section and Ivan and Cliff will work down-section. We’re going to see what lies above, what lies below, what trends we can discern, and develop an idea of what happened here some 100 million years ago.
This is what happens when you get geologists out in the field with the proper amounts of field gear, outcrops, and alcohol.
Overall, the deeper down-section, and therefore, earlier in geological time you go, the more marine the rocks are. Conversely, the higher you go in the column, i.e., up-section, into younger rocks, the more continental it appears.
We find fragments of marine fish fossils, sea-crocodile scutes and teeth, heaps of mosasaur coprolites, i.e., fossil shit piles, and other indications that the lower, older rocks are Lower Cretaceous ocean basin-fill.
But up higher; we find mud cracks, rain prints, land turtle shells, land-snails (Bellerophontid gastropods), and what may actually be a fossil feather. All indications of a more continental, i.e., fluvial (river), floodplain, lacustrine (lake), and paludal (swamp) deposition.
That’s my particular bailiwick.
I’m ‘elephant walking’ along the upper outcrops looking for fossils. You basically bend over at the waist and sweep from left to right as you take exaggerated step after step, scanning the ground looking for…well…it takes years, but once you see it, you never forget it.
“Fossil sign”.
A disjunct endemism. Something not in situ. Something out of place. A bit of a different, out of context color. Out of context texture. Out of context size. Out of context context.
Something that looks like it shouldn’t ought to be there.
I’m picking up 1 cm. square hunks of what look like an ordinary rock. I taste them. Well, I stick them to my tongue. If it liquefies and runs away, it’s ordinary mudstone, shale, or the like.
If it sticks…well, it might just be fossil bone.
“PTWTWOO!”
“Damn right, Rock”, Cliff says from behind me, “Fucking North Korea tastes terrible.”
“Still, it’s the best way I know to…” I paused.
“Got something?” Cliff asked.
“Look here.” I said, “Anthill. Big, nasty buggers. Look around the edges. Pieces of flat, cream-colored rock on this gaudy purple stuff. Tongue test? They stick like cockleburs. Let’s look upslope, see if there’s a drainage…”
There it was, a nice little drainage incised about 1.5 meters deep into the nearly horizontal rocks we were walking on.
“Any float?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Cliff said.
We followed the weak, little drainage that was cut into the outcrop, up another couple of meters.
There were very scrappy, very small, very scattered pieces of that same cream-colored rock. Some were ornamented with a scroll-work or some sort of striations. Most un-geological. More biological. We followed the trail, up here, around here, over there.
Cliff noticed it first, a soccer-ball sized lump of completely out-of-place crème-colored ‘rock’ working its way out by gradual erosion of the variegated pastels of the continental rocks upon which we were treading.
I got there first and began to clear the area with my Estwing.
“Careful. Careful”, Cliff admonished.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind your Mincies. [Mince pies = eyes]”, as I’m swinging away at the reluctant, reticent, rocks.
The excavation grew, slowly. From the rounded dome, we could see small sutures that had developed…
Then condyles, fenestrae, then more ‘bone’. Then a jaw, teeth, vertebrae…
“HOLY DOUBLE-DAMN SHIT!” I tootled my air horn. We needed the group to see this.
It was a skull. A dinosaur skull. A small, non-avian dinosaur skull.
Everyone has crowded around and looked at the small quarry we had just built.
“Whatcha got, Rock? Cliff?” Joon asked.
“Fuck me, but I think we’ve got us a dinosaur skull,” I said.
Professor Doctor Academician Ivan walked over and cleared the area.
As Professor Emeritus, he had pole position priority.
“I agree.” is all he said.
I cleared the area and let others take a whack at opening up the quarry.
We may have been low on power tools, but we had a surfeit of opinions.
“OK,” I said, “Let’s look at the facts…”
  1. Age? Cretaceous. Probably lower to lower-middle Cretaceous.
  2. Continental deposits. That’s very fine sand we’re hacking away. Fluvial, without a doubt. Or, possibly aeolian; there’s no such thing as a geological certainty. Dunes? Ephemeral creeks? Low floodplain? Geo-talk… .
  3. Small size. Potentially a juvenile?
  4. Nope. Not a juvie. Sutures are closed, fused. This is, well was, an adult; perhaps a subadult, given its size.
  5. In situ? In place? Or washed in?
Hard to tell when all you’ve exposed is half the critter’s brain box.
“Look at that!” Myung-dae exclaimed, “Squamosal bones and the inner parietals…temporal fenestrae. It had a frill; a small one.”
“OK,”, I said, looking closely at the exposed scrappy remains, “Fucking-A Bubba. Nailed it.” I said, giving him the thumbs up.
“Ceratopsian. Look at those greens-grinder molars. There’s some small osteoderms on the skull; knobby old bastard. Early critter.” I continued.
Others looked around and confirmed my observations.
“Reminds me of Protoceratops from when I was back in Mongolia,” I said.
Dax chimed in with, “Looks something like Psittacosaurus from back in the Cretaceous Belly River of Canada.”
Drs. Ivan and Morse agree. “Most assuredly. It is definitely proto-ceratopsian. Young adult, as Dr. Rock notes by the cranial sutures. Do they have a record of proto-ceratopsians here?”
Myung-dae replies, “I have read reports of Korean proto-ceratopsian found in South Korea. Not long ago, 2019, it is called…ah… Auroraceratops. It is a genus of bipedal basal neo-ceratopsian dinosaur.”
“Bipedal?” I query. “Well, there’s a fine how do you do. All the proto-ceratopsians I’ve known were obligate quadrupeds.”
“Well”, Ivan, Dax, Cliff, and Morse agree, “That should give the shiny suit squad something to report. That’ll keep them the hell out of our hair for a while.”
We photograph each step as we excavate the critter. It’s more or less in situ, buried where it fell. Probably killed by a sand slip off a dune, or a river sandbar slip and burial. It’s not complete, but we do have the skull and a good portion of the post-cranial elements to about just before the pelvis. A good pectoral girdle, skull, jaw, frill, forelimbs, forefeet…easily half-a cute little herbivorous dinosaur. About the size of a smallish Highland Coo or large Great Dane.
We flag it with the team particulars, it’s GPS position, and carefully rebury the animal. We don’t have any of the equipment nor time to excavate it properly, but we can conserve it. Of course, we’ll be informing the proper authorities of our discovery.
I have an absolutely ancient Polaroid instant camera. Before re-internment, I take several pictures of our “Koreasaurus”, as we’ve dubbed the animal, with items for scale; like a hammer, cigar, and oddly enough, a photographic scale. Then I get a photo of the whole crew standing around, drinking warm beers from their individual day packs, smiling about the find ‘they‘ made.
We hear the melodious tootle of the bus’s horns. We make sure to pack out all our trash and wander back to our terrestrial transport.
“You were gone too long!” the chief shiny suited character goes all ballistic on me.
“Watch yourself, Herr Mac.”, I calmly said, “You’re going to burn your nose on my cigar.”
“You left without your handlers…err…guides!” he fumed.
“Hey, Scooter. Cool out. We’re geologists. We never get lost.” I said.
It sometimes just takes us longer to get back than it took us to leave…
“Your impertinence will be reported.” He smoldered.
“Report this, Mother Chuckler”, I observed and held out the pictures of our newly discovered Koreasaurus.
“Show those photos to your handlers,” I said in a mocking tone. “We found a brand new species of God-damned dinosaur for you geezers. It took us less than two hours. You can spin it that it’s a new, never-before-seen species of very specialized dinosaur found right here in beautiful Korea del Norte. Be quite the scientific coup, don’t you think? Trust us. We won’t say anything.”
He immediately shut up and went into conference with the rest of the shiny suit squad.
“Doctor”, one of the clan covert asked, “This is a new dinosaur?”
I had a thunderbolt of an idea.
“Oh! Yes, it is. I’d stake my reputation on it. You’ve had no concerted search here for the beasts and well, with the normalizing of relations between your country and the world, it allowed your specialists to perform real science. In fact, on the bus is the young North Korean geoscientist who made the discovery.” I said. “Give me a minute. I’ll go and get him. I think he was off taking a shi…ah, using the lavatory. Just give me a minute.”
I did have an idea. A wonderful idea. A wonderfully evil idea.
Back on the bus, I ordered the doors closed.
“Gentlemen! Ears and eyes! Please.” I said loudly.
Continuing…
“The shiny suits have their knickers all a-twist because we don’t want to listen to them; the assholes. Fuck that. I’ve got an idea. Let’s make our young acolyte here, Mr. Myung-dae Soo, a national hero. He would probably get his ass in a crack for sneaking on board the Western bus today the way he did. Well, double fuck that. Let’s all say he found the dinosaur. Let him take the glory for the homeland. No one else will ever need to know.” I said smiling.
“Fuck Yeah! You bet! Замечательное! Ihmeellisiä! Maravilhoso! Geweldig!”
Good to know we’re all on the same page. Geologists. You can always count on them…
“Mr. Myung-dae Soo? Front and center. Time to go and become ‘Hero of Best Korea’.” I smiled.
He was absolutely terrified.
“Doctor…I …don't…wait…no…” he stammered.
Cliff, Dax, Ivan, and I trotted him out to confront the shiny suit squad.
“Don’t worry, Myung. We’ve got your back. Trust us.” I said in a low conspiratorial tone.
The shiny suit squad turned as one and gave Mr. Myung the Stink Eye treatment.
“Here you go. The man of the hour. Mr. Myung-Dae Soo, young geologist and up and coming paleontologist.” I say loudly and with the utmost honor.
They look at him and the Korean erupts in rapid-fire staccato bursts.
Cliff just wanders in and interjects, “Yes. Righto. Top form. Found the float. Tracked down that dino like he was on safari. Highest marks. Good man!”
Dax adds more fuel to the fire. “Like he knew where to go, knew where to look. He’s a natural.”
Dr. Academician Ivan blustered forth: “Excellent scholar. Excellent field man. Banner geologist.”
I couldn’t have added more. The shiny suit squad was gobsmacked.
I asked Myung-dae what they were saying.
“They were talking about reprisals. Reporting to authorities. Then, they stopped. You have them completely confounded.” He said.
“How so?” I asked, quietly.
“Between an international incident where we don’t listen to our handlers and this potential important scientific discovery.” Mr. Myung-dae reported, trying hard to parse the evolving situation.
“Yes”, I added to Ivan’s bluster.
To the shiny suits: “I’ve worked as visiting Dinosaurian Vertebrate Paleontology Curator at all the major American museums. This is a find quite unlike anything known. It is a watershed discovery. It will help unravel the evolution and distribution of the clan Dinosauria for the whole Korean Peninsula. Perhaps, even with international impact on the recent finds in China.”
I laid it on with a trowel.
I hit all the buzzwords.
“Yes. Yes, perhaps.”, the head shiny-suiter said. “I will report this bit of very good news to the proper authorities. Myung-dae, with us. We require more information.”
“Ah, we’d prefer him to ride in back with us if you don’t mind. Scientific courtesy, old man. He needs to be classically de-interviewed after such a find.” I insisted, making certain I stand as tall, wide, and menacing as possible while smiling like a damned Cheshire cat, one smoking a very large cigar.
“Very well. We are not far from our evening stop. We can talk later.” He agreed.
We all moseyed, laughing silently, back to the bus; literally supporting our young hero Mr. Myung-dae as he seemed to have gone all wobbly of late.
Myung-dae was ashen-white. He looked like he had just given birth to a basketball. He was visibly shaking.
We get on the bus and I whip up a stout Yorshch for the young hero of the hour.
“Here! This is for you. If you’re going to be a world-class geologist, you’d damn sure better start acting like one.” I smile broadly.
There were hoots, cheers, and cat-calls.
Beers were popped, bottles uncorked; cigars, cigarettes, and pipes lit.
“Damn Skippy!” some anonymous reveler added.
Myung-dae slurped a good half the drink. I offered him a cigar. He stopped shaking enough to accept the novel offer.
Remember “crawlin’ home puker”? He’s taken his first step into a larger world.
OK, just to recap. Here are the dramatis personae left on the bus…
Bus driver (Kim) and his relief (Won).
My team and I. That’s 11 Western geoscientists: Morse, Cliff, Volna, Ack, Viv, Graco, Erlen, Dr. Academician Ivan, Joon, Dax, and myself.
Then there are our guides: Yuk, No, Man, and Kong.
Our stowaway hero geologist-in-training: Myung-dae Soo, aka, “Mung”.
And the four members of the shiny suit clan: Pak, Mak, Tak, and Jak. At least, that’s the names we used when we addressed them.
The bus was rumbling down the deserted highway. We were headed more or less due east, passing the occasional Potemkin Village. They knew we cracked their code long ago, so they didn’t bother with darkening the windows any longer.
We are passing a series of highway road cut outcrops. We’re only going approximately 35 or 40 miles per hour. Suddenly, Morse jumps out of his seat and runs up to the driver.
“STOP! STOP! Back up! We almost missed it!” he barks in heavily Russian inflected English.
The driver, shaken to the core, just slams on the brakes. The bus grinds to a stop. Good thing there’s no traffic out here.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Jak of the suit clan jumps up and asks “What is the problem?”
“How could you miss that?” Morse shouts. “Huge fault. Mineralization. I saw that from a glimpse. We must return to investigate.”
“Is not possible. We have appointment at the hotel.” Jak replies.
“Fuck that!”, Morse shouts. I guess he’s just really into faults…
I wander up and try to defuse the situation.
“OK, guys, cool out. Let’s be reasonable. Do it our way. Go back to that road cut. We spend a half-hour there then we go on to the hotel. The hotel will still be there when we arrive, won’t it? Even if we’re a bit late?” I ask.
Jak looks to Pak, who converses with Mak and Tak. They know they’re outgunned.
The driver shifts the bus into reverse and we back down the luckily deserted highway over a mile to the outcrop in question.
We had to admit, it was a mother beautiful normal fault. In perfect, textbook cross-section.
Morse and Joon were on it like white on rice; given the mineralization along the fault plane. All sorts of implications for the thermal and geological history of the area. But with just one exposure like this, more or less just a real interesting geo-oddity.
We spent precisely 30 minutes at the exposure, and when our handlers requested we re-board and head to the motel, we complied like nice, normal sort of folks.
I believe the appropriate maxim here is: “Lull them into a false sense of security…”
Once more down the road we travel. Beers popped, bottles uncorked; you know, the usual.
Forty-five minutes later, we pull into, I kid you not, a replica US of A 1950s Motor-Inn.
“Mr. Myung”, I ask, “What the hell is this?”
To be continued…
submitted by Rocknocker to Rocknocker [link] [comments]

Something for the Weekend: How I've Earned £1200 in 2020 (so far)

Hi All
I just wanted to provide an update to my previous post about my January earnings with how I've managed to increase my BeerMoney. As I said in that post I started looking at ways of earning some money in the evenings whilst my wife is on maternity leave in the hope of earning enough for more than just beer. I just wanted to share how I've been able to earn just over £1200 in 2020 to date using links shared on Reddit, my way of giving back to a community that has helped me so much. I've also added some new sites/methods from my previous post.
Tl; Dr. Had baby. Got poor. Reddit helped. Returning the favour for someone else in need.
Breakdown of Income
As you can see below my income has been split across a variety of methods, the main earners definitely being matched betting, Clickworker and Rebatest (not strictly Beermoney but certainly worthwhile). I've also done bank switching (£175 from HSBC) but won't cover that here, however there are some good offers knocking about for that.
Trading212
Trading212 offer a free share worth up to £100 if signing up to their service using a referral link from an existing user. I can't remember the Reddit user who's link I followed but I managed to get them (and myself) a free share in Ford. I've shared this link with a few places now and managed to get the full 20 referrals (my best was a share worth approximately £40 in AMD). There's no chance you're going to get a £100 share (from my experience and research) but certainly worth doing. You just need to deposit if following my referral link (although I've maxed out my benefits, you still get the free share). You can sell your share pretty much straight away, however you won't be able to withdraw the cash for 30 days (it can be reinvested though). I'd recommend waiting for the Coronavirus crash to recover before selling to maximise your earnings (no requirement to do so though).
I was looking at getting into share dealing anyway and Trading212 has been really easy (even made a small profit on some shares I bought).
Referral Link
Non-Referral Link
Matched Betting
I won't go into too much detail on this other than to say if you have any reservations about this don't worry. I've made nearly £180 so far. I signed up with HeadsandHeads, but there are other sites that walk you through it and really helps talk you through the offers and the process (I'm still learning myself but the more you do the more confident you get). I've also used TopCashBack (see below) to double up on some of the offers so always check there if they have anything that you can make the most of (BetFair in particular offered £15). There are a lot of guides on Reddit for Matched Betting. It's also a great time to start up with Cheltenham starting next week and loads of offers about.
On this, Paddy Power have a great referral offer and I'd appreciate if you could use this link, they're certainly a good bookie for offers and worthwhile signing up. I get £20 if you sign up and bet £10 with this (which you can easily turn into £7+ profit) using a matched betting guide, as well as there normal bonus offers: Referral Link Non-Referral Link
Just be careful, follow the instructions, and money is guaranteed. I've kept any liabilities relatively low so you don't need much available money to get started with this. Total BeerMoney £180.
TopCashBack
Hopefully you all know about TopCashBack (TCB) by now but if you don't it's free money for everyday shopping. Always check it before you buy anything and you get cashback on your purchase (usually as a percentage of the purchase price). My winners recently have been from following the advice on Reddit on using Monzo, Ratesetter and Worldremit, and looking at some other free cashback offers. I've had TCB for about 8 years now and I've earned over £1200. The referrals are also constantly updated and you can offer get vouchers yourself when you sign up EDIT: There's a new offer at the minute where if you sign up using my referral you also get a £5 M&S voucher.
Referral Link
Non-Referral Link
Clickworker
Clickworker is a website I have been signed up to for years from my time when I was a student. I dusted off my old account and found that the UHRS can be pretty lucrative if you get on at the right time and they have available jobs. I've earned a fair bit by just doing some tasks at ¢5 a time but they quickly rack up. There are other ways to earn through surveys, app downloads and recording videos. Withdrawals can be made when the job is payable (this is job dependent). I've earned £130 so far (with another £150 waiting to be paid)
There is a clickworker referral scheme if it helps you to get set up. Total BeerMoney so far £130 (+£150 pending).
Referral Link
Non-Referral Link
Rebatest
Rebatest is an Amazon rebate website where you can buy things, leave a review and get 100% cashback on them. So far I've had 17 things from this website totalling £340 (minus small fees to withdraw). Highlights for me so far with this are a lightstrip (think Philips Hue) (£39.99), some Bluetooth headphones (£23.99), a humidifier for my baby's bedroom (£49.99), child's toys (£15.99, £15.99, £20.99), handheld vacuum cleaner (£33.99), car boot liner (£25.99). I've sold a few bits but most of the items I've kept.
Withdrawal to PayPal has no minimum (although there is a small fee). The item availability is limited and needs checking regularly but can be great. Also good for satisfying the need to buy new things knowing that they'll be free.
If you use my referral code you also get £5 added straight to your account which can be withdrawn after you've successfully reviewed an item. I understand from Reddit that there is some reluctance on this but I've found it to be great/ Total BeerMoney (kind of) so far £340.
Referral Link
Non-Referral Link
HoneyGain
HoneyGain is an app that pays you for using unused network capacity. It's a slow burner but I tend to earn about 50¢-1$ a day. Withdrawal can be made to PayPal once your account has reached $20. This is a true passive earner that I have set up on my PC. This PC is on all the time anyway as a media server so I don't worry about leaving something on and its impact on electricity bills (I'm using HoneyGain to try and offset the use of the media server). You can also set this up on mobile phones. Even if you only use your phone, laptop or PC occasionally it's worth having on as it has no impact on usage.
Using this link you can get a $5 head start. Income varies daily but it is a good earner and from looking on Reddit there's a strong need for more UK users. Total BeerMoney to date £31.50.
Referral Link
Non-Referral Link
(In a similar idea I also used FluidStack to earn about £7 but they've updated the way they work and don't use Windows anymore. If you have a Linux system and a recent graphics card though you can still earn good (better than previous) money: Referral Non-Referral)
EDIT: *NEW* Ratesetter
This is another website that gives you a bonus upon signing up that I've realised has a quicker bonus than the TopCashBack route I followed. If you follow my referral then you get £20 credited to your account within 30 days if you sign up and deposit £10 (very good offer and free money which can be withdrawn once you get it credited). Alternatively there are some good offers for this on TopCashBack but you need to invest more for longer so not great for quick earning (wish I'd realised this!).
Total BeerMoney £20.
Referral
Non-Referral
*NEW* QuickThoughts
I really like QuickThoughts to earn Amazon giftcards via an app available on Google Play Store (I assume an Apple version is also available). This is a survey app that you can use as much or as little as you want. So far I've earned £30 in Amazon giftcards. The survey availability is pretty good and they always pay 50p. They give you an approximate time for each survey (some are only 1-2 minutes), and I tend to only do surveys taking less than 10 minutes, however if you have the spare time you can earn quite a bit from this. I reckon there's at least 3-5 surveys available at any one time. Accrued surveys can be exchanged for a voucher once you've reached £10. A couple of times I've been glitched out of a survey near the end but this is rare.
Total BeerMoney (Amazon voucher) to date £30.
Non-Referral
*NEW* London and Country
London and Country offer a free £5 Amazon voucher if you use my referral code below (I also get £5 for referring you) for using there online product finder for mortgages (or re-mortgages). I'm currently in the process of re-mortgaging so this was a very useful find as I was filling in a lot of these forms anyway. If you're in this position as well I certainly recommend it as a way of getting a free £5 (or if you're not you can still fill it in and just get the voucher). Once the form is submitted I got an email about a week later with the voucher.
I've had good experience with London and Country previously as they offer good, free advice. Total BeerMoney (Amazon voucher) £5.
Referral
Non-Referral
*NEW* Qmee
Qmee is another survey website but also offers an interesting twist if you install it on your browser. Occasionally when searching you will get sponsored links appear and when following these you earn money. I've had this going for about 3 months and cashed out £9 so far. They also have a good selection of surveys, although from my experience they don't pay as well as QuickThoughts and the selection criteria is a little harder to meet. Still worthwhile signing up though.
Total BeerMoney £9.
Referral
Non-Referral

Conclusion
It really has been quite enjoyable searching for ways to earn and certainly helped to lighten the financial burden of having a wife on maternity and having a new little person to look after.
I'm aiming to earn at least £150 a month every month this year so if you have any other suggestions please let me know. I'll happily use any referral codes for good earners and try and keep you updated on my progress and guidance throughout 2020. Next month I'm hoping to find the time to try Appen and SerpClix as these seem to be good earners. I've also tried Prolific in the past but I've never had an invite so not sure what I'm doing there despite having a full profile (if anyone has any advice let me know).
Thanks for reading
GlassPanda286
submitted by GlassPanda286 to beermoneyuk [link] [comments]

Bookmakers Not On Gamstop

Bookmakers Not On Gamstop

Bookmakers Not on GamStop:>https://gamstopbookmakers.com
The bookmakers on this site are not licensed by the UK Gambling Commission, therefore they are not obligated to operate by the strict UK government guidelines. Instead, they are regulated by the gambling authorities like MGA (Malta Gambling Authority) or the Isle of Man Gambling Supervision Commission.
So what does this mean?
Bookmakers not on Gamstop can offer great offers and bonuses to play on their sites as they do not come under the strict rules of the UK Gambling Commission. These bonuses can be very attractive and rewarding, such as no deposit offers or lucrative matched deposits. Many UK players enjoy the freedom and high bonuses bookmakers not on Gamstop have to offer for joining their site.
The Top 6
Here we have hand picked the top 6 casinos not on Gamstop. Theses casinos have been calculated on the following:

Bookmakers Not on GamStop:> https://gamstopbookmakers.com
What is GamStop?
Gamstop is a self-exclusion scheme introduced in April 2020 by the UK government that allows players to block themselves from any gambling activity. Due to the pressures placed on UK bookmakers by the UK Gambling Commission, they are restricted to what bonuses they can offer new customers.
Since bookmakers in the UK cannot operate unless licensed by the UK Gambling Commission, this will have a huge impact on the gambling industry. Gamstop was originally created so that players could take control of their gambling habits.
Once you have signed up to Gamstop and excluded yourself from gambling activity, the gambling companies you are registered to will automatically be notified and then close all accounts related to your name and prevent you from signing back in. Furthermore, as of April 2020, the UK Gambling Commission have places restrictions on players depositing on credit cards, an setting deposit limit amounts which cannot be exceeded in a specific time frame.
Due to the pressures placed on UK gambling companies by the UK Gambling Commission, this has had a significant affect on what offers and bonuses the gambling companies can now offer. The gambling industry has taken a devastating affect on enticing more customers to play on their sites.
Gambling companies under the UK Gambling Commission such as; WilliamHill, Coral, Betway, to name a few are restricted to offer new customers no deposit offers or attractive bonuses to join their sites.
Benefits of Bookmakers Not on GamStop
Bookmakers not on Gamstop are not licensed by the UK Gambling Commission, therefore they are not obligated to operate by the strict UK government guidelines. Instead, they are regulated by the gambling authorities like MGA (Malta Gambling Authority) or the Isle of Man Gambling Supervision Commission.
So what does this mean?
Bookmakers not on Gamstop can offer great offers and bonuses to play on their sites as they do not come under the strict rules of the UK Gambling Commission. These bonuses can be very attractive and rewarding, such as no deposit offers or lucrative matched deposits. Many UK players enjoy the freedom and high bonuses bookmakers not on Gamstop have to offer for joining their site.
For more information visit:> https://gamstopbookmakers.com



































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[FULL EPISODE] Green Man 3: Rise of the Golden God

9:00 PM
On a Friday
Philadelphia, PA

EXT/NIGHT: Downtown Philadelphia
A montage of the dark and murky streets of Philadelphia.
NARRATOR: Philadelphia, after dark. Not where you want to be. The kind of place where mistaking a quiet alley for a safe one might be the last mistake you ever make…
DR. WAITRESS walks into an alley, alone. Her footsteps echo. A figure steps out of the shadows.
CRIMINAL 1: Hey, honey… What’s the rush?
DR. WAITRESS turns around and starts to run. Another man steps out of the shadows and into her path. She screams.
CRIMINAL 1: Me and Bruno here was thinkin’ we all might have a little fun, see?
BRUNO: Heh, heh, heh. Fun.
A voice from the background. It’s a deep, gravely superhero voice - sort of like an impression lampooning at Christian Bale’s voice in The Dark Knight…
GREEN MAN: Is it the type of fun the whole family can enjoy?
In a flash, Green Man dashes to Criminal 1 and hits him with a powerful uppercut. He goes down like a sack of bricks. BRUNO grabs DR. WAITRESS and starts to back away.
GREEN MAN: Now, Troll Boy!
Frank – disguised as his alter-ego and GREEN MAN’s trusty sidekick TROLL BOY – appears behind BRUNO, crouching down behind him as he backs up. BRUNO topples over TROLL BOY and WAITRESS runs free. TROLL BOY pulls out a pistol and executes BRUNO.
GREEN MAN & DR. WAITRESS: Jesus Christ!
GREEN MAN: Troll Boy! What the f*ck was that!?
TROLL BOY: What? He’s a bad guy! He was going to kidnap her!
GREEN MAN: Yeah, I know – but… Jesus! I mean… We’re heroes – you just executed the guy!
TROLL BOY: Look, you be a hero your way – I’ll be a hero my way.
CRIMINAL 1 comes to. He looks over at BRUNO and when he realizes what he’s seeing, races over to BRUNO’s corpse, becoming hysterical.
CRIMINAL 1: Bruno? Bruno!? Come on, brother, speak to me. Oh no, no, no. (to TROLL BOY) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Oh, God, oh dear Jesus take me instead!
GREEN MAN, TROLL BOY and DR. WAITRESS all look around at each other uncomfortably.
TROLL BOY: Uh…
CRIMINAL 1: BRUNO! WHY? You were going to Dartmouth in the fall! Oh, Bruno… BRUNO!
GREEN MAN: OK, let’s get the hell out of here.
GREEN MAN, TROLL BOY and DR. WAITRESS run out of the alley and around the corner. They stop, and GREEN MAN and DR. WAITRESS look deep into each other’s eyes.
WAITRESS: Oh, how can I ever thank you, heroic stranger?
Just then, a massive explosion is heard in the background.
GREEN MAN: I guess you’ll have some time to think about it.
With that, GREEN MAN leaps into action with TROLL BOY trailing behind.

TITLE CARD: “Green Man 3: Rise of the Golden God”
Credits roll over silhouettes of the main characters, accompanied by a dark-but-heroic score.
STARRING CHARLIE KELLY … FRANK REYNOLDS … DENNIS REYNOLDS … DEANDRA REYNOLDS … THE WAITRESS … WITH MAC AS “ENRIQUE BEEFCAKE”… AND CRICKET AS “JOHNNY LOWLIFE”.

INT/NIGHT: News Studio
We join a news broadcast, already underway.
NEWS ANCHOR: To recap, if you’re just joining us – a huge blast-type explosion has just created a hole-like-crater in the side of the Philadelphia Institute of Science, home to the some of the world’s most advanced technologies and stuff. Mayor Brian LeFevre says authorities are still surveying the inventory to determine what, if anything, might have been stolen.
CUT TO INT/NIGHT: The Green Room
GREEN MAN and TROLL BOY – now out of costume and under their real identities, CHARLES KELLY and FRANK REYNOLDS – are watching the newscast in their hideout, The Green Room (which is just Paddy’s, but with a bunch of high-tech looking stuff around). CHARLES grabs a martini from the bar. He’s a slick-looking, well-dressed playboy type. Frank is dressed like a slob as always, wearing a sweaty shirt with orange stains.
CHARLES: What do you think, Frank?
FRANK: I don’t know. The walls of the Philadelphia Institute of Science are reinforced with ultranesium; whoever blew that hole-like-crater must have had some serious firepower.
CHARLES stirs his martini and ponders.
CHARLES: Hmm. I’m going to go check it out.
FRANK: Don’t you have a date tonight?
CHARLIE: I’ll make it… Don’t wait up.
CHARLES grabs his Green Suit and heads out.

INT/NIGHT: The Philadelphia Institute of Science
COMMISSIONER PEACOCK (Dee) and her team have the scene sealed off. DEPUTY GUTTERGASH (Artemis) approaches her.
DEPUTY GUTTERGASH: Alright Commissioner, whole place has been sealed off and combed down. You want us to keep at it?
COMMISSIONER PEACOCK: Nah, send the boys home. You get some rest too, Guttergash.
GUTTERGASH: And you, ma’am?
PEACOCK: I’m going to stick around for a bit.
GUTTERGASH: Yes ma’am… Well, goodnight.
GUTTERGASH and the rest of the cops clear out. COMMISSIONER PEACOCK crouches over a pile of rubble and sighs.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Peacock!
All of a sudden, MAYOR BRIAN LEFEVRE (Dennis) walks into the scene with his silent bodyguard ENRIQUE BEEFCAKE (Mac). MAYOR LEFEVRE stops and allows ENRIQUE to perform an ocular patdown of PEACOCK. He clears her, and LEFEVRE steps forward.
LEFEVRE: Peacock! Please tell me it isn’t true! They got… it?
PEACOCK sighs.
PEACOCK: I’m sorry, sir.
LEFFEVRE: Jesus Christ, Peacock! Well, what are you doing to find it?
PEACOCK: We have our best men on it, sir, and we’ve traced –
LEFEVRE: Shut up, Peacock. Find it – now. Or I’ll find a Police Commissioner who can.
MAYOR LEFEVRE and ENRIQUE leave the scene. PEACOCK crouches back over the rubble and sighs again.
PEACOCK: What the hell am I missing?
A voice from the background.
GREEN MAN: Same thing as everybody else… the big picture.
PEACOCK turns around. GREEN MAN steps out of the shadows.
GREEN MAN: What did they take?
PEACOCK sighs.
GREEN MAN: What – did they take?
PEACOCK: Twelve years ago, Philadelphia’s top scientists discovered a way to perfectly duplicate atomic mass. The mayor has kept it under wraps ever since, developing all kinds of military applications for it.
GREEN MAN: Jesus Christ… You mean – whoever just blew this hole-like-crater the size of a small basin is out there running around with some kind of… cloning machine?
PEACOCK: That’s right, Green Man.
GREEN MAN notices something under a piece of rubble in the corner. He goes and picks it up. It’s an empty syringe.
PEACOCK: What the hell is that?
GREEN MAN: I think I might have just found the needle in this haystack…

EXT/NIGHT: Outside the Philadelphia Institute of Science
MAYOR LEFEVRE and ENRIQUE are walking from the Institute to their car, the driver waiting in it at the curb. All of a sudden, Philadelphia Tribune ace newshound SCOOPS MCKENZIE (Lawyer) walks out of the shadows and approaches the mayor.
SCOOPS MCKENZIE: Mayor LeFevre? Scoops McKenzie, Philadelphia Tribune. Mind if I ask you a few questions about the break-in tonight?
MAYOR LEFEVRE: We’re still looking into McKenzie, there’s nothing more to say.
SCOOPS: Oh, is that so?... Because I did a little diggin’ – spun through the rolodex once or twice, greased a wheel or two – and I happened to come across a little email chain between the mayor’s office and a certain… geneticist?
ENRIQUE steps forward, cracks his knuckles, and gets into a karate stance. MAYOR LEFEVRE steps forward as well and puts his hand on ENRIQUE’s shoulder.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Stand down Enrique, it’s OK. We’re all professionals here! I have to admit, McKenzie – I’m a big fan of your work.
SCOOPS: Well I appreciate that mayor, but unfortunately flattery wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Now I’m just giving you a chance to comment here – but either way, this story runs front page tomorrow.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Ha… Well, then. I can see I’ve been bested. This is going to be a big story for you, McKenzie… Congratulations.
MAYOR LEFEVRE extends his hand to SCOOPS to shake. SCOOPS pauses, and then cautiously reaches out and shakes. Just then, MAYOR LEFEVRE’s eyes and hair light up a bright gold – assuming the power of his alter-ego, THE GOLDEN GOD. SCOOPS screams, and rips his hand away – but it’s too late. The gold spreads from SCOOPS’ hand across his body – entombing him in seconds. MAYOR LEFEVRE’s eyes and hair return to normal. He turns to ENRIQUE.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Get rid of the body. And then go get those surveillance tapes. I’ve got work to do.
MAYOR LEFEVRE gestures to a security camera pointed toward them. ENRIQUE nods and lifts the solid gold body like it’s a feather. He disappears into the night. MAYOR LEFEVRE gets in the backseat of the car, and it drives off.

INT/NIGHT: Johnny Lowlife’s Hideout
Small-time criminal JOHNNY LOWLIFE (Cricket) is tying off in his “hideout”, a couple of boxes and sheets underneath an overpass. JOHNNY sings as he prepares to shoot up.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: Hair-oh-ween, if ya know what I mean! I would lick a spleen, for some hair-oh-ween!
He reaches around for something, but can’t seem to find it. A voice from the background.
GREEN MAN: Looking for something?
JOHNNY jumps up and then recoils in fear.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: Ah, oh God, no!
GREEN MAN: Only you’d be stupid enough to leave a kickprick at a crime scene, Johnny Lowlife.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: I’m sorry! I just needed some crank, bad! I tried to rob some teens but they overpowered me and threw me down a manhole!
GREEN MAN: The real mystery is how a waste of oxygen like you manages to blow through an ultranesium wall… and why. So start talking.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: Look, man – I just did a job for these two brothers. That’s all. They brought the juice, I just made the bang go pop – OK? Then they sent some other guy in to take care of the rest.
GREEN MAN: These brothers – what were their names?
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: I don’t know their names. All I know is they operate out of the old dairy factory on Third – and they pay cash.
GREEN MAN: What? How do you know they’re brothers if you don’t know their names?
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: I don’t… I don’t know how I know that...
GREEN MAN stares at JOHNNY LOWLIFE and then starts to walk away.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: Hey, can I have my syringe?
GREEN MAN tosses the syringe into a pile of dog crap. JOHNNY LOWLIFE picks it up immediately.
JOHNNY LOWLIFE: Thank you!
GREEN MAN pulls out his phone and calls TROLL BOY.
GREEN MAN: Troll Boy. Do me a favour – head over to the old dairy factory on Third. I’ll text you the details… I’ve got a date to catch.

INT/NIGHT: The Old Dairy Factory
TROLL BOY walks through the old dairy factory. It’s dark and dusty.
TROLL BOY: Don’t even know what the hell I’m lookin’ for here. Two guys that might be brothers? While Charles is off wreckin’ some clam? This is some goddamn bullshit – I hate being a sidekick.
TROLL BOY hears a crack and whips around. A gang of criminals step out of the shadows, led by the BOILER BROTHERS – BERT BOILER (Liam McPoyle) and BART BOILER (Ryan McPoyle). The BOILER BROTHERS are each holding a jar of brownish milk, and both are sporting milk moustaches.
BERT BOILER: Who the hell are you?
BART BOILER: Some kind of Monster Grandpa?
TROLL BOY: It’s Troll Boy, dickhead.
BART BOILER: Well, I mean, you’re definitely not a boy.
BERT BOILER: What are you doing here, Troll Boy?
TROLL BOY: Looking for you two, I imagine.
BERT BOILER opens his jar of brown milk. TROLL BOY recoils at the smell.
TROLL BOY: Oh, Christ – are you drinking that milk? That shit’s probably been sittin’ here since the Depression!
BERT BOILER: This is hyper-pasteurized goat’s milk from 1935.
BART BOILER: It’s been aged to perfection. The vitamins have been stewing in their own juices for nearly a century.
BERT BOILER: This milk is packed with such an intense concentration of nutrients, each sip gives us a superhuman-like boost of adrenaline.
BART BOILER: And it tastes divine – especially at room temperature.
BERT BOILER: We call it hypermilk.
TROLL BOY: Oh God, it smells like someone died in an outhouse!
BERT BOILER: What are you doing here, Troll Boy!?
TROLL BOY: Jesus, that stinks… Are you the two brothers that hired Johnny Lowlife to break into the Institute of Science?
BERT BOILER: Well we are brothers – Bert and Bart Boiler, the Boiler Brothers – but as for the other thing…
BART BOILER: That sounds like a question you shouldn’t be asking…
BERT BOILER: Lucius?
LUCIUS, an enormous and imposing member of the BOILER BROTHERS’ gang, steps forward. He chugs a jar of hypermilk, smashes the empty jar, and lets out a primal scream. He grabs a baseball bat wrapped in rusty chains and laughs maniacally as he walks toward TROLL BOY. TROLL BOY pulls out his pistol and shoots LUCIUS in the stomach. LUCIUS drops to his knees. The gang screams in horror. TROLL BOY executes LUCIUS, point blank.
BERT BOILER: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
BART BOILER: LUCIUS!!!
BERT BOILER: What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you insane!?
TROLL BOY: What!? He was about to beat me with a baseball bat!
BERT BOILER: So you punch him! You throw him into a wall! You don’t shoot him in the stomach and head!!
TROLL BOY: Look at me, you think I can pick that guy up and throw him? He’s got like 200 pounds on me! Plus he was all hopped up on the milk!
BART BOILER: You really are a Monster Grandpa!
TROLL BOY: Alright, screw this.
TROLL BOY fires a round into the ceiling.
TROLL BOY: Now tell me why you hired Johnny Lowlife to do the Institute job or I’ll blow every single one of you bastards full of holes!
BERT BOILER: Alright, alright – look… We were just in charge of getting into the place, so we hired the only person desperate enough for drug money to handle the extremely dangerous amount of unstable explosive material needed to blow through ultranesium.
TROLL BOY: Lowlife told my partner that someone else was sent in to finish the job… Who was it?
The BOILER BROTHERS look at each other. Silence. TROLL BOY fires another round into the ceiling.
TROLL BOY: Who was it!?
BART BOILER: Enrique Beefcake!
BERT: Bart!
BART: You saw how casually he murdered Lucius, man. If you want to die for them, that’s fine – but I’m not ready to go yet, man – I just bought a houseboat!
BERT: Wait… you’re moving out?
TROLL BOY fires a third round into the ceiling. The BOILER BROTHERS jump back to attention.
TROLL BOY: You mean Enrique Beefcake, as in the mayor’s right-hand man? Why the hell would the mayor break into his own Institute?
BERT BOILER: Look, we’ve told you all we know. Now can you please leave so we can clean up our friend’s corpse and give him a proper Amish burial?
TROLL BOY: Sure. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about shooting him. But you know, could be a good lesson… maybe it’s time to start carrying guns, right?
BART BOILER: Get out!
TROLL BOY: Ok, I’m going.
TROLL BOY starts to leave, but notices a crate of hypermilk by the exit. He looks back, picks up a few jars, slips them into his utility belt – and leaves.

INT/NIGHT: Philadelphia Police Headquarters
COMMISSIONER PEACOCK sits at her desk in the empty office. She’s looking at papers on her desk. PEACOCK sighs, leans back, and makes a phone call. She pauses for a few seconds as the line rings out and goes to voicemail.
PEACOCK: Hey honey… Tried your cell a few times, figured I’d see if you were maybe home already – but I guess you must just be slammed with all of this. I suppose it’ll be a long night for both of us. Anyways, give me a shout if you get a few seconds. Love you.
CUT TO INT/NIGHT: Commissioner Peacock’s Home
As Peacock’s voicemail ends – we see the landline phone at her home. The camera pulls back to reveal a wedding photo on the wall behind the phone – it’s of COMMISSIONER PEACOCK and her husband, SCOOPS MCKENZIE.
CUT BACK TO INT/NIGHT: Philadelphia Police Headquarters
PEACOCK hangs up the phone and sighs. DEPUTY GUTTERGASH walks into the office with two cups of coffee.
GUTTERGASH: Need a recharge?
PEACOCK smiles, and GUTTERGASH hands her the coffee.
PEACOCK: I thought I told you to get some rest, Guttergash.
GUTTERGASH: Ah, I just got one of these instead.
GUTTERGASH raises her coffee cup. PEACOCK laughs and takes a long sip.
PEACOCK: That does hit the spot.
GUTTERGASH: Yep, nothing does the trick like a good old fashioned cup of joe with some crushed Modanifil and three ounces of liquid methylphenidate.
PEACOCK pauses.
PEACOCK: … What? What are those words? What the hell did you just give me?
GUTTERGASH: Yeah, I call it a booster shot! Gets the blood moving.
PEACOCK: Oh my god. I drank like a third of this already!
GUTTERGASH: Ooo – that’s not good. Better to go slow, this stuff is real potent.
PEACOCK: Umm, I can smell shapes! Is that supposed to happen?
GUTTERGASH: Not for a few hours at least.
PEACOCK picks up a glass and hurls it across the room. She screams at the top of her lungs.
GUTTERGASH: Oh boy. Well, I should probably skip out – I really just came by to drop off the booster shot… and this.
GUTTERGASH pulls a USB stick from her pocket and puts it on PEACOCK’s desk.
PEACOCK: What? What? What the hell is this?
GUTTERGASH: Well we already reviewed all the surveillance from the scene of the break-in, but this is the footage from the other cameras around the building.
PEACOCK: I thought that footage was destroyed!? They destroyed it!!
GUTTERGASH: It’s the 21st century - everything gets backed up.
GUTTERGASH leaves. PEACOCK stares at the USB stick. She screams at the top of her lungs again and punches a hole in a cubicle divider.

EXT/NIGHT: The Swan’s Knuckle
CHARLES, out of costume, arrives in his million-dollar Italian sportscar – the Sexerati Thrusterosa – at Philadelphia’s finest restaurant, The Swan’s Knuckle. He gives the keys to the valet and walks into the restaurant. In the foyer he spots a woman in a beautiful dress, facing away from him.
CHARLES: Look at you – early as usual.
His date turns around. It’s DR. WAITRESS.
DR. WAITRESS: Well, hello handsome.
The two embrace and share a passionate kiss.
CUT TO INT/NIGHT: The Swan’s Knuckle
CHARLES and DR. WAITRESS are at their table.
CHARLES: So… have they told you what was stolen yet?
DR. WAITRESS: No, not yet. The cops won’t let any staff into the Institute until they’re finished in there, which could be weeks.
CHARLES: Are you worried it be could be something dangerous in the wrong hands?
DR. WAITRESS: I don’t know, Charles. Knowing what’s in there though… The possibilities are scary.
CHARLES: So… anything else exciting happen today?
DR. WAITRESS pauses.
DR. WAITRESS: Um, nope. Nothing I can think of.
CHARLES looks at DR. WAITRESS suspiciously, but suddenly - his phone vibrates. He looks at it and reads the text from Frank: “Mayor behind Institute break-in. Meet at City Hall NOW”. CHARLES is shocked.
DR. WAITRESS: Is everything OK, sweetheart?
CHARLES: Um, no – actually. There’s… been a fire at one of the factories…
DR. WAITRESS: Oh my god!
CHARLES: Yeah, hundreds of good, hard-working people burned to a crisp… So I probably should be going!
DR. WAITRESS: Yeah, of – of course. Go. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.
CHARLES: Thanks, Darling. I’ll make it up to you.
CHARLES kisses DR. WAITRESS and dashes out. DR. WAITRESS watches CHARLES leave, and as soon as he exits – she dashes out the back exit. Seconds later, THE GUGINO’S WAITER arrives at their table carrying a bottle of wine.
GUGINO’S WAITER: Here we are, our finest wine – uncorked after 73 years just for –
The GUGINO’S WAITER realizes there’s nobody at the table. He looks around.
GUGINO’S WAITER: Oh, goddamn it.

EXT/NIGHT: Streets of Philadelphia
TROLL BOY is running through the streets of Philadelphia to meet GREEN MAN at City Hall. He cuts down a dark back road. A figure steps out of the shadows onto the sidewalk. It’s CRIMINAL 1, from the first scene of the episode. He’s got a gun.
TROLL BOY: Oh, shit! It’s you!
CRIMINAL 1: You… you killed him… you killed my Bruno.
TROLL BOY reaches for his gun. CRIMINAL 1 pulls the hammer back on his gun and points it at TROLL BOY’s head.
CRIMINAL 1: Don’t – move! … Ever since that fateful moment, that moment when you took the person dearest to me from this Earth … I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you when I saw you. Meticulously choosing each word, obsessively rehearsing and –
All of a sudden, a police cruiser comes out of nowhere and crushes CRIMINAL 1.
TROLL BOY: Oh, shit!
PEACOCK jumps out, gun drawn, still tweaking on the drugs GUTTERGASH slipped her.
PEACOCK: Hey! Troll Boy! Do you know where –
PEACOCK notices the corpse of CRIMINAL 1 under her car.
PEACOCK: OK, no time for that – Troll Boy, we’ve gotta go – we’ve gotta get Green Man. The mayor killed my husband and I want to go get some revenge.
TROLL BOY: What!?
PEACOCK: Yeah, he killed my husband – he turned him into gold, I guess he’s got some kind of power where he can turn people into gold, and he did that to my husband and so now my husband is gold and dead. Anyways, I’m absolutely flying on some shit my deputy slipped into my coffee so I haven’t been able to emotionally process anything yet, I’m just really, really focused on this revenge, and getting it – on the mayor, for turning my husband into a dead, gold, dead guy. So, let’s go get Green Man – and let’s go. Let’s go, ok?
TROLL BOY: Yeah, oh – OK. We’re actually heading there already anyways to -
PEACOCK fires her gun into the air and screams at the top of her lungs. TROLL BOY runs around to the other side of the cruiser and gets in the passenger seat. PEACOCK gets in the driver’s seat and peels out. TROLL BOY notices a coffee cup in the cupholder.
TROLL BOY: So, is this the coffee with the drugs in it?
PEACOCK: Yeah, I figured I’m probably going to need all the energy I can for this revenge scheme.
TROLL BOY: Huh… Can I have a couple sipskis?
PEACOCK: Yeah, please – it’s actually good if you chug a lot of it real fast.
TROLL BOY pulls out a jar of hypermilk.
TROLL BOY: Oh, wait – I got this rank milk, these assholes were getting cranked up off it – I killed one of them, but I got took some of their milk. Should we put some in the coffee?
PEACOCK: Yeah, sure – rank milk, put the rank milk in.
TROLL BOY pours some of the hypermilk into the coffee.
TROLL BOY: Bottoms up bitch!
TROLL BOY chugs the coffee. PEACOCK laughs maniacally as the cruiser tears through the streets of Philly.

INT/NIGHT: News Studio
We rejoin the broadcast, now with breaking news.
NEWS ANCHOR: If you’re just joining us, we have some sad and shocking news to report. One of this city’s journalistic giants, Scoops McKenzie of the Philadelphia Tribune – was found dead earlier this evening, his body encased in a gold-like-substance, most likely gold… In an another disturbing twist, whoever responsible for the murder had tied a magnifying glass above the corpse, appearing to incorrectly assume the sun would melt it in the morning. Police are still –
The broadcast cuts to static for a few seconds, before cutting to a shot of THE GOLDEN GOD – now in a golden warlock-like costume and aviation goggles to go along with his hair and eyes.
GOLDEN GOD: A goddamn magnifying glass? What a moron. (Notices he’s live) Oh - hello Philadelphia! What do you think of my work? You don’t have to answer – I know you love it. It’s gold, after all – and everyone loves gold. Sweet, pure, powerful gold. And soon, you – just like Scoops McKenzie – will have your gold. I will deliver it to you. For I… AM THE GOLDEN GOD! AND I WILL POUR THE MOLTEN SUN UPON THE WORLDS OF MEN! Bow to me now, Philadelphia – and perhaps some of you will be spared.
GOLDEN GOD laughs maniacally, and the feed cuts back to the studio. The news anchor is entombed in solid gold.

EXT/NIGHT: Philadelphia City Hall
Green Man arrives in front of City Hall as the rain starts to pour. He stares at the building – a crack of lighting, and he’s gone.
CUT TO – INT/NIGHT: Philadelphia City Hall
Two security guards patrol the lobby.
SECURITY GUARD 1: So, should we go grab a drink in celebration of this, our last shift as security guards?
SECURITY GUARD 2: Absolutely – I can’t wait to begin my new life at the monastery tomorrow.
SECURITY GUARD 1: Nor me, to start my new career as a face model!
Just then, GREEN MAN flashes out of nowhere and strikes SECURITY GUARD 1 directly in the face. He stumbles back and lands face-first in a barrel labeled “Broken Glass for the Homeless”. GREEN MAN turns and walks toward SECURITY GUARD 2.
SECURITY GUARD 2: Wait, I’m still discovering the four Noble Truths!
GREEN MAN picks up SECURITY GUARD 2.
GREEN MAN: Number three… there is an end to suffering!
GREEN MAN tosses SECURITY GUARD 2 into a wall, knocking him unconscious.
CUT TO - INT/NIGHT: Philadelphia City Hall
A montage rolls of GREEN MAN taking down security guards around City Hall, on his way up to the Mayor’s Office. He reaches a hallway that with a sign that reads “This way to Mayor’s Office – must be 18 (IDs WILL be checked)”. As he runs down the hall, the lights go out. When they come back on, ENRIQUE BEEFCAKE stands between GREEN MAN and the Mayor’s Office – his signature cat eyes in place.
GREEN MAN: Beefcake! We don’t have to do this!
ENRIQUE charges at GREEN MAN. The two of them clash in awesome hand-to-hand combat. Equally matched, they pause to catch their breath – and GREEN MAN notices a cross and rosary beads around ENQIRUE’s neck that has become visible during the fighting.
GREEN MAN: Ah… a religious man, are you Beefcake?
ENRIQUE doesn’t respond.
GREEN MAN: Huh… Must be hard listening to your boss walk around calling himself “The Golden God”.
ENRIQUE looks away in thought.
GREEN MAN: Tell me Beefcake… does the Bible say anything about worshipping other Gods?
ENRIQUE clutches his rosary beads.
GREEN MAN: Killing people, turning them into gold… I wonder what Jesus would think about that…
ENRIQUE sighs heavily. He stares at his cross.
GREEN MAN: Come with me, Beefcake… Repent with me. We can put an end to this, together.
ENRIQUE looks down in shame. He takes his cat eyes off and throws them on the ground. He looks up at GREEN MAN, who smiles. ENRIQUE walks toward GREEN MAN – pauses – and then continues to walk past him, toward the exit. GREEN MAN sighs, and runs toward the Mayor’s Office.

INT/NIGHT: The Mayor’s Office/Laboratory
GREEN MAN walks into the Mayor’s Office, to discover it’s a massive laboratory. GOLDEN GOD is nowhere to be seen – but his voice suddenly echoes throughout the room.
GOLDEN GOD: Hello Green Man… Why do I get the feeling you aren’t here to surrender?
GREEN MAN: Show yourself LeFevre!
MAYOR LEFEVRE steps out of the shadows, back in his regular mayoral outfit.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Very well.
GREEN MAN runs toward MAYOR LEFEVRE. He hits him with a powerful uppercut, and MAYOR LEFEVRE flies back into a shelf. The shelf falls onto him. GREEN MAN stares at the corpse of MAYOR LEFEVRE, and begins to turn around. Suddenly, another MAYOR LEFEVRE tazes him in the neck, and GREEN MAN blacks out.
CUT TO – INT/NIGHT: The Mayor’s Office/Laboratory
GREEN MAN comes to – only to realize he’s in a high-tech chair being held down by steel restrainers. He struggles to break free, but it’s no use. GOLDEN GOD walks into view.
GOLDEN GOD: Philadelphia’s Greatest Hero… The Green Man. Do you know you’re child’s play to me? Do you see that now? I could kill you this instant.
GREEN MAN: Then why don’t you?
GOLDEN GOD: Because, you fool – I need to reveal my secret plan!
GREEN MAN: I’m assuming you’re going to make an army of clones of yourself and use it to turn everyone else gold?
GOLDEN GOD: I’m going to – eh, what? Damn, it Green Man - you figured out my plan?
GREEN MAN: Well, yeah. Pretty – pretty easy to piece together.
GOLDEN GOD: Well whatever, the plan may be conceptually simple, but it’s a goddamn good one…
GOLDEN GOD stares off into space and daydreams…
CUT TO – EXT/DAY: Philadelphia in Mayor Lefevre’s Fantasy
In his daydream, MAYOR LEFEVRE walks down a colorful city street on a beautiful sunny day. As he walks, he passes MAYOR LEFEVRE clones out and about, chatting on steps, working in the shops and waving to MAYOR LEFEVRE as he goes by. They’re the only people on the street.
MAYOR LEFEVRE CLONE 1: Morning, Brian!
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Hey Brian!
MAYOR LEFEVRE CLONE 2: Lovely day, ay Brian?
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Hope it never ends, my friend!
He sees a MAYOR LEFEVRE clone struggling to lift a box onto the back of a truck.
MAYOR LEFEVRE: Need a hand with that Brian?
MAYOR LEFEVRE CLONE 3: Oh, that’d be great.
The two MAYOR LEFEVREs lift the box onto the truck.
MAYOR LEFEVRE CLONE 3: So… how can I… thank you?
The two MAYOR LEFEVREs start passionately making out. Other MAYOR LEFEVRE clones crowd around, aroused by what they see.
CUT BACK TO INT/NIGHT: The Mayor’s Office/Laboratory
GOLDEN GOD’s eyes are still closed.
GOLDEN GOD: Oooh… Oh yeah. Get in there, boys.
GREEN MAN: Um, what the fuck is happening?
GOLDEN GOD snaps back to reality.
GOLDEN GOD: Oh. Uh… Excuse me…
GOLDEN GOD turns and strolls as he talks.
GOLDEN GOD: We can only use the replicator to create powerless versions of my likeness for now… We need to modify the process for my unique genetic code in order to clone my powers as well – something we were planning to do in secrecy, before that goddamn reporter had to ruin everything!
GREEN MAN: Wait… we?
GOLDEN GOD: Yes… You could say I’m more of the brawn in this operation… And the looks.
DR. WAITRESS steps out of the shadows.
DR. WAITRESS: (to Golden God) Well hello, handsome.
GREEN MAN gasps.
DR. WAITRESS: I see you remember me, Green Man. You should have let those thugs kill me in that alley… I guess I’m not going to get the chance to thank you after all.
GREEN MAN: Why are you helping this guy?
DR. WAITRESS walks back over to GOLDEN GOD and starts stroking his arm.
DR. WAITRESS: Because he’s a God – and I worship him.
GREEN MAN: Are you serious? I bet he doesn’t even know your name!
GOLDEN GOD laughs nervously.
GOLDEN GOD: Ha… That’s – that’s ridiculous… Uh, silence! Silence, by the way!
DR. WAITRESS steps back and looks at GOLDEN GOD.
DR. WAITRESS: OK… what’s my name?
GOLDEN GOD stumbles.
GOLDEN GOD: Uhh…
DR. WAITRESS: Oh, are you kidding me!?
GOLDEN GOD: Um, you’re my Golden Goddess! I’m the Golden God and you’re my Golden Goddess!
DR. WAITRESS: You are such an asshole! You know what, I’m helping this guy now.
DR. WAITRESS starts to walk toward GREEN MAN. GOLDEN GOD shrugs and grabs DR. WAITRESS’ shoulder. His hair glows. DR. WAITRESS rips herself away – but it’s too late.
GREEN MAN: No! Dr. Waitress!
GOLDEN GOD: Right, that’s it.
DR. WAITRESS stares back at GREEN MAN as she turns to gold.
GOLDEN GOD: Well now I’m going to have to find another smart-but-pathetic girl to do all the heavy lifting here – so thanks for that, Green Man. You know what, just for that – you die now.
A group of MAYOR LEFEVRE clones step out of the shadow.
GOLDEN GOD: It’s been fun – but I think I’m going to go walk around and turn some people into gold. Then I’ll call it a night. Boys…
GOLDEN GOD walks out of the room as the MAYOR LEFEVRE clones gather around GREEN MAN. Just as they’re about to attack – PEACOCK and TROLL BOY burst into the room, tweaking and guns blazing. PEACOCK shoots a clone in the head and the rest scatter; PEACOCK chases them down, laughing maniacally, while TROLL BOY runs to GREEN MAN’s rescue. TROLL BOY still has the coffee in his hands.
TROLL BOY: Hey, hey Charles. Sorry about all this. Here ya go!
TROLL BOY uses his drug-induced superhuman strength to rip the restrainers clean off the chair.
GREEN MAN: Holy shit, dude!
TROLL BOY: Yeah, we drank some of this coffee – it’s full of stuff, lots of stuff Charles. You want some?
GREEN MAN: Uh – no thanks, man.
TROLL BOY: OK, great – more for me. Anyways, let Peacock and me kill these clones – you go get that gold bitch!
TROLL BOY screams and runs after a clone, firing randomly. GREEN MAN chases after GOLDEN GOD.

INT / NIGHT: Philadelphia City Hall – Main Lobby
GREEN MAN arrives in the main lobby of City Hall, just as GOLDEN GOD is about to walk out the front doors to unleash havoc on Philadelphia.
GREEN MAN: Lefevre! We’re not done!
GOLDEN GOD turns around. His hair glows. He raises his hands, also glowing.
GOLDEN GOD: You fool! I am a God! You’re just a man in a green suit - you’re no match for me!
A voice from the background. It’s a horrible Swedish accent.
ENRIQUE BEEFCAKE: Vell vhy don’t ve even de odds!
GREEN MAN: Beefcake!
BEEFCAKE: Dere’s only one God, mayor – and his name is… vell, ve don’t really – he doesn’t actually have a… It’s God. God is God.
GOLDEN GOD: Silence, moron! Ugh, I hate that goddamn voice. Banning you from speaking was absolutely the right decision.
GREEN MAN: You banned him from speaking? I just thought he was a mute! (To Beefcake) Come on Beefcake – let’s do this.
ENRIQUE: Yeah, OK – dat’s good Green Man! Just don’t let him touch you or he’ll turn you into the gold having!
GOLDEN GOD: Oh – what, are you German now?
ENRIQUE and GREEN MAN descend on GOLDEN GOD. In a beautiful, coordinated attack, they pummel him from either side while dodging each of GOLDEN GOD’s attempts to grasp them. GREEN MAN delivers the final blow – a powerful kick to the head. GOLDEN GOD falls to his knees. The glow in his eyes and hair goes out. He falls over, badly beaten and dazed – but still alive.
GREEN MAN: Now, time to lock you up where you’ll never hurt another so–
PEACOCK and TROLL BOY burst in again, still tweaking. They shoot the mayor over and over as they scream.
PEACOCK: Yeah, that’s right bitch! That’s what you get for turning my husband gold, you gold jackass. Gold piece of shit!
TROLL BOY: I don’t want to be a sidekick anymore! I hate it! I want the cars and the broads and I want to say cool shit!
GREEN MAN: God… damn it.
ENRIQUE: Yeah! Dat’s right! Send him to Hell!
TROLL BOY: Hey Enrique! Want a pick-me-up?
TROLL BOY still has the coffee. He hands it to ENRIQUE, who takes a sip. ENRIQUE’s eyes widen. He grabs TROLL BOY’s gun and starts shooting GOLDEN GOD’s corpse along with PEACOCK. TROLL BOY cheers them on. As they continue to shoot and cheer, the camera pulls out back into the streets of Philadelphia.
CUT TO - EXT/NIGHT: Downtown Philadelphia
A montage of the city rolls.
NARRATOR: Well, Philadelphia. You’re safe – for another day, at least. Lucky you. I guess the only question is – what’s waiting tomorrow?
The GREEN MAN’s silhouette flashes through the streets.
NARRATOR: Whatever it is… You can sleep easy, Philadelphia… Because he’s out there. Watching. Listening. The defender… the seeker of justice… the – Green Man!
THE END

Wow - you actually read this entire thing? Thank you so much!
I also wrote another episode if you care to check it out: Charlie's Place.
Thanks again for reading!!
submitted by fadtastic to redditwritessunny [link] [comments]

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