Urban Dictionary: dime

Every Legal 4-Letter Word In Scrabble

AAHS AALS ABAC ABAS ABBA ABBE ABBS ABED ABET ABID ABLE ABLY ABOS ABRI ABUT ABYE ABYS ACAI ACCA ACED ACER ACES ACHE ACHY ACID ACME ACNE ACRE ACTA ACTS ACYL ADAW ADDS ADDY ADIT ADOS ADRY ADZE AEON AERO AERY AESC AFAR AFFY AFRO AGAR AGAS AGED AGEE AGEN AGER AGES AGHA AGIN AGIO AGLU AGLY AGMA AGOG AGON AGUE AHED AHEM AHIS AHOY AIAS AIDA AIDE AIDS AIGA AILS AIMS AINE AINS AIRN AIRS AIRT AIRY AITS AITU AJAR AJEE AKAS AKED AKEE AKES AKIN ALAE ALAN ALAP ALAR ALAS ALAY ALBA ALBE ALBS ALCO ALEC ALEE ALEF ALES ALEW ALFA ALFS ALGA ALIF ALIT ALKO ALKY ALLS ALLY ALMA ALME ALMS ALOD ALOE ALOO ALOW ALPS ALSO ALTO ALTS ALUM ALUS AMAH AMAS AMBO AMEN AMES AMIA AMID AMIE AMIN AMIR AMIS AMLA AMMO AMOK AMPS AMUS AMYL ANAL ANAN ANAS ANCE ANDS ANES ANEW ANGA ANIL ANIS ANKH ANNA ANNO ANNS ANOA ANON ANOW ANSA ANTA ANTE ANTI ANTS ANUS APAY APED APER APES APEX APOD APOS APPS APSE APSO APTS AQUA ARAK ARAR ARBA ARBS ARCH ARCO ARCS ARDS AREA ARED AREG ARES ARET AREW ARFS ARGH ARIA ARID ARIL ARIS ARKS ARLE ARMS ARMY ARNA AROW ARPA ARSE ARSY ARTI ARTS ARTY ARUM ARVO ARYL ASAR ASCI ASEA ASHY ASKS ASPS ATAP ATES ATMA ATOC ATOK ATOM ATOP ATUA AUAS AUFS AUKS AULA AULD AUNE AUNT AURA AUTO AVAL AVAS AVEL AVER AVES AVID AVOS AVOW AWAY AWDL AWED AWEE AWES AWFY AWKS AWLS AWNS AWNY AWOL AWRY AXAL AXED AXEL AXES AXIL AXIS AXLE AXON AYAH AYES AYIN AYRE AYUS AZAN AZON AZYM
BAAL BAAS BABA BABE BABU BABY BACH BACK BACS BADE BADS BAEL BAFF BAFT BAGH BAGS BAHT BAHU BAIL BAIT BAJU BAKE BALD BALE BALK BALL BALM BALS BALU BAMS BANC BAND BANE BANG BANI BANK BANS BANT BAPS BAPU BARB BARD BARE BARF BARK BARM BARN BARP BARS BASE BASH BASK BASS BAST BATE BATH BATS BATT BAUD BAUK BAUR BAWD BAWL BAWN BAWR BAYE BAYS BAYT BEAD BEAK BEAM BEAN BEAR BEAT BEAU BECK BEDE BEDS BEDU BEEF BEEN BEEP BEER BEES BEET BEGO BEGS BEIN BELL BELS BELT BEMA BEND BENE BENI BENJ BENS BENT BERE BERG BERK BERM BEST BETA BETE BETH BETS BEVY BEYS BHAI BHAT BHEL BHUT BIAS BIBB BIBS BICE BIDE BIDI BIDS BIEN BIER BIFF BIGA BIGG BIGS BIKE BILE BILK BILL BIMA BIND BINE BING BINK BINS BINT BIOG BIOS BIRD BIRK BIRL BIRO BIRR BISE BISH BISK BIST BITE BITO BITS BITT BIZE BLAB BLAD BLAE BLAG BLAH BLAM BLAT BLAW BLAY BLEB BLED BLEE BLET BLEW BLEY BLIN BLIP BLIT BLOB BLOC BLOG BLOT BLOW BLUB BLUE BLUR BOAB BOAK BOAR BOAS BOAT BOBA BOBS BOCK BODE BODS BODY BOEP BOET BOFF BOGS BOGY BOHO BOHS BOIL BOIS BOKE BOKO BOKS BOLA BOLD BOLE BOLL BOLO BOLT BOMA BOMB BONA BOND BONE BONG BONK BONY BOOB BOOH BOOK BOOL BOOM BOON BOOR BOOS BOOT BOPS BORA BORD BORE BORK BORM BORN BORS BORT BOSH BOSK BOSS BOTA BOTE BOTH BOTS BOTT BOUK BOUN BOUT BOWL BOWR BOWS BOXY BOYF BOYG BOYO BOYS BOZO BRAD BRAE BRAG BRAK BRAN BRAS BRAT BRAW BRAY BRED BREE BREI BREN BRER BREW BREY BRIE BRIG BRIK BRIM BRIN BRIO BRIS BRIT BROD BROG BROO BROS BROW BRRR BRUS BRUT BRUX BUAT BUBA BUBO BUBS BUBU BUCK BUDA BUDI BUDO BUDS BUFF BUFO BUGS BUHL BUHR BUIK BUKE BULB BULK BULL BUMF BUMP BUMS BUNA BUND BUNG BUNK BUNN BUNS BUNT BUOY BURA BURB BURD BURG BURK BURL BURN BURP BURR BURS BURY BUSH BUSK BUSS BUST BUSY BUTE BUTS BUTT BUYS BUZZ BYDE BYES BYKE BYRE BYRL BYTE
CAAS CABA CABS CACA CACK CADE CADI CADS CAFE CAFF CAGE CAGS CAGY CAID CAIN CAKE CAKY CALF CALK CALL CALM CALO CALP CALX CAMA CAME CAMO CAMP CAMS CANE CANG CANN CANS CANT CANY CAPA CAPE CAPH CAPI CAPO CAPS CARB CARD CARE CARK CARL CARN CARP CARR CARS CART CASA CASE CASH CASK CAST CATE CATS CAUF CAUK CAUL CAUM CAUP CAVA CAVE CAVY CAWK CAWS CAYS CEAS CECA CEDE CEDI CEES CEIL CELL CELS CELT CENS CENT CEPE CEPS CERE CERO CERT CESS CETE CHAD CHAI CHAL CHAM CHAO CHAP CHAR CHAS CHAT CHAV CHAW CHAY CHEF CHER CHEW CHEZ CHIA CHIB CHIC CHID CHIK CHIN CHIP CHIS CHIT CHIV CHIZ CHOC CHOG CHON CHOP CHOU CHOW CHUB CHUG CHUM CHUR CHUT CIAO CIDE CIDS CIEL CIGS CILL CINE CION CIRE CIRL CIST CITE CITO CITS CITY CIVE CLAD CLAG CLAM CLAN CLAP CLAT CLAW CLAY CLEF CLEG CLEM CLEW CLIP CLIT CLOD CLOG CLON CLOP CLOT CLOU CLOW CLOY CLUB CLUE COAL COAT COAX COBB COBS COCA COCH COCK COCO CODA CODE CODS COED COFF COFT COGS COHO COIF COIL COIN COIR COIT COKE COKY COLA COLD COLE COLL COLS COLT COLY COMA COMB COME COMM COMP COMS COND CONE CONF CONI CONK CONN CONS CONY COOF COOK COOL COOM COON COOP COOS COOT COPE COPS COPY CORD CORE CORF CORK CORM CORN CORS CORY COSE COSH COSS COST COSY COTE COTH COTS COTT COUP COUR COVE COWK COWL COWP COWS COWY COXA COXY COYS COZE COZY CRAB CRAG CRAM CRAN CRAP CRAW CRAY CRED CREE CREM CREW CRIA CRIB CRIM CRIS CRIT CROC CROG CROP CROW CRUD CRUE CRUS CRUX CUBE CUBS CUDS CUED CUES CUFF CUIF CUIT CUKE CULL CULM CULT CUMS CUNT CUPS CURB CURD CURE CURF CURL CURN CURR CURS CURT CUSH CUSK CUSP CUSS CUTE CUTS CWMS CYAN CYMA CYME CYST CYTE CZAR
DAAL DABS DACE DACK DADA DADO DADS DAES DAFF DAFT DAGO DAGS DAHL DAHS DAIS DAKS DALE DALI DALS DALT DAME DAMN DAMP DAMS DANG DANK DANS DANT DAPS DARB DARE DARG DARI DARK DARN DART DASH DATA DATE DATO DAUB DAUD DAUR DAUT DAVY DAWD DAWK DAWN DAWS DAWT DAYS DAZE DEAD DEAF DEAL DEAN DEAR DEAW DEBE DEBS DEBT DECK DECO DEED DEEK DEEM DEEN DEEP DEER DEES DEET DEEV DEFI DEFO DEFT DEFY DEGS DEGU DEID DEIF DEIL DEKE DELE DELF DELI DELL DELO DELS DELT DEME DEMO DEMY DENE DENI DENS DENT DENY DERE DERM DERN DERO DERV DESI DESK DEUS DEVA DEVS DEWS DEWY DEXY DEYS DHAK DHAL DHOL DHOW DIAL DIBS DICE DICH DICK DICT DIDO DIDY DIEB DIED DIEL DIES DIET DIFF DIFS DIGS DIKA DIKE DILL DIME DIMP DIMS DINE DING DINK DINO DINS DINT DIOL DIPS DIPT DIRE DIRK DIRL DIRT DISA DISC DISH DISK DISS DITA DITE DITS DITT DITZ DIVA DIVE DIVI DIVO DIVS DIXI DIXY DIYA DJIN DOAB DOAT DOBS DOBY DOCK DOCO DOCS DODO DODS DOEK DOEN DOER DOES DOFF DOGE DOGS DOGY DOHS DOIT DOJO DOLE DOLL DOLS DOLT DOME DOMS DOMY DONA DONE DONG DONS DOOB DOOK DOOL DOOM DOON DOOR DOOS DOPA DOPE DOPS DOPY DORB DORE DORK DORM DORP DORR DORS DORT DORY DOSE DOSH DOSS DOST DOTE DOTH DOTS DOTY DOUC DOUK DOUM DOUN DOUP DOUR DOUT DOUX DOVE DOWD DOWF DOWL DOWN DOWP DOWS DOWT DOXY DOYS DOZE DOZY DRAB DRAC DRAD DRAG DRAM DRAP DRAT DRAW DRAY DREE DREG DREK DREW DREY DRIB DRIP DROP DROW DRUB DRUG DRUM DRYS DSOS DUAD DUAL DUAN DUAR DUBS DUCE DUCI DUCK DUCT DUDE DUDS DUED DUEL DUES DUET DUFF DUGS DUIT DUKA DUKE DULE DULL DULY DUMA DUMB DUMP DUNE DUNG DUNK DUNS DUNT DUOS DUPE DUPS DURA DURE DURN DURO DURR DUSH DUSK DUST DUTY DWAM DYAD DYED DYER DYES DYKE DYNE DZHO DZOS
EACH EALE EANS EARD EARL EARN EARS EASE EAST EASY EATH EATS EAUS EAUX EAVE EBBS EBON ECAD ECCE ECCO ECHE ECHO ECHT ECOD ECOS ECRU ECUS EDDO EDDY EDGE EDGY EDHS EDIT EECH EELS EELY EERY EEVN EFFS EFTS EGAD EGAL EGER EGGS EGGY EGIS EGMA EGOS EHED EIDE EIKS EILD EINA EINE EISH EKED EKES EKKA ELAN ELDS ELFS ELHI ELKS ELLS ELMS ELMY ELSE ELTS EMES EMEU EMIC EMIR EMIT EMMA EMMY EMOS EMPT EMUS EMYD EMYS ENDS ENES ENEW ENGS ENOL ENOW ENUF ENVY EOAN EONS EORL EPEE EPHA EPIC EPOS ERAS ERED ERES EREV ERGO ERGS ERHU ERIC ERKS ERNE ERNS EROS ERRS ERST ERUV ESES ESKY ESNE ESPY ESSE ESTS ETAS ETAT ETCH ETEN ETHE ETHS ETIC ETNA ETUI EUGE EUGH EUKS EUOI EURO EVEN EVER EVES EVET EVIL EVOE EVOS EWER EWES EWKS EWTS EXAM EXEC EXED EXES EXIT EXON EXPO EXUL EYAS EYED EYEN EYER EYES EYNE EYOT EYRA EYRE EYRY
FAAN FAAS FABS FACE FACT FADE FADO FADS FADY FAFF FAGS FAHS FAIK FAIL FAIN FAIR FAIX FAKE FALL FALX FAME FAND FANE FANG FANK FANO FANS FARD FARE FARL FARM FARO FARS FART FASH FAST FATE FATS FAUN FAUR FAUT FAUX FAVA FAVE FAWN FAWS FAYS FAZE FEAL FEAR FEAT FECK FEDS FEEB FEED FEEL FEEN FEER FEES FEET FEGS FEHM FEHS FEIS FELL FELT FEME FEMS FEND FENI FENS FENT FEOD FERE FERM FERN FESS FEST FETA FETE FETS FETT FEUD FEUS FEWS FEYS FIAR FIAT FIBS FICE FICO FIDO FIDS FIEF FIER FIFE FIGO FIGS FIKE FIKY FILA FILE FILL FILM FILO FILS FIND FINE FINI FINK FINO FINS FIQH FIRE FIRK FIRM FIRN FIRS FISC FISH FISK FIST FITS FITT FIVE FIXT FIZZ FLAB FLAG FLAK FLAM FLAN FLAP FLAT FLAW FLAX FLAY FLEA FLED FLEE FLEG FLEW FLEX FLEY FLIC FLIM FLIP FLIR FLIT FLIX FLOB FLOC FLOE FLOG FLOP FLOR FLOW FLOX FLUB FLUE FLUS FLUX FOAL FOAM FOBS FOCI FOEN FOES FOGS FOGY FOHN FOID FOIL FOIN FOLD FOLK FOND FONE FONS FONT FOOD FOOL FOOT FOPS FORA FORB FORD FORE FORK FORM FORT FOSS FOUD FOUL FOUR FOUS FOWL FOXY FOYS FOZY FRAB FRAE FRAG FRAP FRAS FRAT FRAU FRAY FREE FRET FRIB FRIG FRIS FRIT FRIZ FROE FROG FROM FROS FROW FRUG FUBS FUCI FUCK FUDS FUEL FUFF FUGS FUGU FUJI FULL FUME FUMS FUMY FUND FUNG FUNK FUNS FURL FURR FURS FURY FUSC FUSE FUSS FUST FUTZ FUZE FUZZ FYCE FYKE FYLE FYRD
GABS GABY GADE GADI GADS GAED GAEN GAES GAFF GAGA GAGE GAGS GAID GAIN GAIR GAIT GAJO GAKS GALA GALE GALL GALS GAMA GAMB GAME GAMP GAMS GAMY GANE GANG GANS GANT GAOL GAPE GAPO GAPS GAPY GARB GARE GARI GARS GART GASH GASP GAST GATE GATH GATS GAUD GAUM GAUN GAUP GAUR GAUS GAVE GAWD GAWK GAWP GAWS GAYS GAZE GAZY GEAL GEAN GEAR GEAT GECK GEDS GEED GEEK GEEP GEES GEEZ GEIT GELD GELS GELT GEMS GENA GENE GENS GENT GENU GEOS GERE GERM GERS GERT GEST GETA GETS GEUM GHAT GHEE GHIS GIBE GIBS GIDS GIED GIEN GIES GIFT GIGA GIGS GILA GILD GILL GILT GIMP GING GINK GINN GINS GIOS GIPS GIRD GIRL GIRN GIRO GIRR GIRT GISM GIST GITE GITS GIVE GIZZ GJUS GLAD GLAM GLED GLEE GLEG GLEI GLEN GLEY GLIA GLIB GLID GLIM GLIT GLOB GLOM GLOP GLOW GLUE GLUG GLUM GLUT GNAR GNAT GNAW GNOW GNUS GOAD GOAF GOAL GOAS GOAT GOBI GOBO GOBS GOBY GODS GOEL GOER GOES GOEY GOFF GOGO GOJI GOLD GOLE GOLF GOLP GONE GONG GONK GONS GOOD GOOF GOOG GOOK GOOL GOON GOOP GOOR GOOS GORA GORE GORI GORM GORP GORY GOSH GOSS GOTH GOUK GOUT GOVS GOWD GOWF GOWK GOWL GOWN GOYS GRAB GRAD GRAM GRAN GRAT GRAV GRAY GREE GREN GREW GREX GREY GRID GRIG GRIM GRIN GRIP GRIS GRIT GROG GROK GROT GROW GRRL GRUB GRUE GRUM GUAN GUAR GUBS GUCK GUDE GUES GUFF GUGA GUID GULA GULE GULF GULL GULP GULS GULY GUMP GUMS GUNG GUNK GUNS GUPS GURL GURN GURS GURU GUSH GUST GUTS GUVS GUYS GYAL GYBE GYMP GYMS GYNY GYPS GYRE GYRI GYRO GYTE GYVE
HAAF HAAR HABU HACK HADE HADJ HADS HAED HAEM HAEN HAES HAET HAFF HAFT HAGG HAGS HAHA HAHS HAIK HAIL HAIN HAIR HAJI HAJJ HAKA HAKE HAKU HALE HALF HALL HALM HALO HALT HAME HAMS HAND HANG HANK HANT HAOS HAPS HAPU HARD HARE HARK HARL HARM HARN HARO HARP HART HASH HASK HASP HASS HAST HATE HATH HATS HAUD HAUF HAUL HAUT HAVE HAWK HAWM HAWS HAYS HAZE HAZY HEAD HEAL HEAP HEAR HEAT HEBE HECH HECK HEED HEEL HEFT HEHS HEID HEIL HEIR HELD HELE HELL HELM HELO HELP HEME HEMP HEMS HEND HENS HENT HEPS HEPT HERB HERD HERE HERL HERM HERN HERO HERS HERY HESP HEST HETE HETH HETS HEWN HEWS HEYS HICK HIDE HIED HIES HIGH HIKE HILA HILD HILI HILL HILT HIMS HIND HING HINS HINT HIOI HIPS HIPT HIRE HISH HISN HISS HIST HITS HIVE HIYA HIZZ HOAR HOAS HOAX HOBO HOBS HOCK HODS HOED HOER HOES HOGG HOGH HOGS HOHA HOHS HOIK HOKA HOKE HOKI HOLD HOLE HOLK HOLM HOLP HOLS HOLT HOLY HOMA HOME HOMO HOMS HOMY HOND HONE HONG HONK HONS HOOD HOOF HOOK HOON HOOP HOOR HOOT HOPE HOPS HORA HORE HORI HORN HORS HOSE HOSS HOST HOTE HOTS HOUF HOUR HOUT HOVE HOWE HOWF HOWK HOWL HOWS HOYA HOYS HUBS HUCK HUED HUER HUES HUFF HUGE HUGS HUGY HUHU HUIA HUIC HUIS HULA HULE HULK HULL HUMA HUMF HUMP HUMS HUNG HUNH HUNK HUNS HUNT HUPS HURL HURT HUSH HUSK HUSO HUSS HUTS HWAN HWYL HYED HYEN HYES HYKE HYLA HYLE HYMN HYPE HYPO HYPS HYTE
IAMB IBEX IBIS ICED ICER ICES ICHS ICKY ICON IDEA IDEE IDEM IDES IDLE IDLY IDOL IDYL IFFY IGAD IGGS IGLU IKAN IKAT IKON ILEA ILEX ILIA ILKA ILKS ILLS ILLY IMAM IMID IMMY IMPI IMPS INBY INCH INFO INGO INGS INIA INKS INKY INLY INNS INRO INTI INTO IONS IOTA IRED IRES IRID IRIS IRKS IRON ISBA ISIT ISLE ISMS ISNA ISOS ITAS ITCH ITEM IURE IWIS IXIA IZAR
JAAP JABS JACK JADE JAFA JAGA JAGG JAGS JAIL JAKE JAKS JAMB JAMS JANE JANN JAPE JAPS JARK JARL JARP JARS JASP JASS JASY JATO JAUK JAUP JAVA JAWS JAXY JAYS JAZY JAZZ JEAN JEAT JEDI JEED JEEL JEEP JEER JEES JEEZ JEFE JEFF JEHU JELL JEON JERK JESS JEST JETE JETS JEUX JEWS JIAO JIBB JIBE JIBS JIFF JIGS JILL JILT JIMP JINK JINN JINS JINX JIRD JISM JIVE JIVY JIZZ JOBE JOBS JOCK JOCO JOES JOEY JOGS JOHN JOIN JOKE JOKY JOLE JOLL JOLS JOLT JOMO JONG JOOK JORS JOSH JOSS JOTA JOTS JOUK JOUR JOWL JOWS JOYS JUBA JUBE JUCO JUDO JUDS JUDY JUGA JUGS JUJU JUKE JUKU JUMP JUNK JUPE JURA JURE JURY JUST JUTE JUTS JUVE JYNX
KAAL KAAS KABS KACK KADE KADI KAED KAES KAFS KAGO KAGU KAID KAIE KAIF KAIK KAIL KAIM KAIN KAIS KAKA KAKI KAKS KALE KALI KAMA KAME KAMI KANA KANE KANG KANS KANT KAON KAPA KAPH KARA KARK KARN KARO KART KATA KATI KATS KAVA KAWA KAWS KAYO KAYS KAZI KBAR KEAS KEBS KECK KEDS KEEF KEEK KEEL KEEN KEEP KEET KEFS KEGS KEIR KEKS KELL KELP KELT KEMB KEMP KENO KENS KENT KEPI KEPS KEPT KERB KERF KERN KERO KESH KEST KETA KETE KETO KETS KEWL KEYS KHAF KHAN KHAT KHET KHIS KHOR KHUD KIBE KICK KIDS KIEF KIER KIEV KIFF KIFS KIKE KILD KILL KILN KILO KILP KILT KINA KIND KINE KING KINK KINO KINS KIPE KIPP KIPS KIRK KIRN KIRS KISH KISS KIST KITE KITH KITS KIVA KIWI KLAP KLIK KNAG KNAP KNAR KNEE KNEW KNIT KNOB KNOP KNOT KNOW KNUB KNUR KNUT KOAN KOAP KOAS KOBO KOBS KOEL KOFF KOHA KOHL KOIS KOJI KOKA KOLA KOLO KOND KONK KONS KOOK KOPH KOPS KORA KORE KORO KORS KORU KOSS KOTO KOWS KRAB KRIS KSAR KUDO KUDU KUEH KUES KUFI KUIA KUKU KULA KUNA KUNE KURI KURU KUTA KUTI KUTU KUZU KVAS KYAK KYAR KYAT KYBO KYES KYLE KYND KYNE KYPE KYTE KYUS
LABS LACE LACK LACS LACY LADE LADS LADY LAER LAGS LAHS LAIC LAID LAIK LAIN LAIR LAKE LAKH LAKY LALL LAMA LAMB LAME LAMP LAMS LANA LAND LANE LANG LANK LANT LANX LAPS LARD LARE LARI LARK LARN LARS LASE LASH LASS LAST LATE LATH LATI LATS LATU LAUD LAUF LAVA LAVE LAVS LAWK LAWN LAWS LAYS LAZE LAZO LAZY LEAD LEAF LEAK LEAL LEAM LEAN LEAP LEAR LEAS LEAT LECH LEED LEEK LEEP LEER LEES LEET LEFT LEGS LEHR LEIR LEIS LEKE LEKS LEKU LEME LEND LENG LENO LENS LENT LEPS LEPT LERE LERP LESS LEST LETS LEUD LEVA LEVE LEVO LEVY LEWD LEYS LEZZ LIAR LIAS LIBS LICE LICH LICK LIDO LIDS LIED LIEF LIEN LIER LIES LIEU LIFE LIFT LIGS LIKE LILL LILO LILT LILY LIMA LIMB LIME LIMN LIMO LIMP LIMY LIND LINE LING LINK LINN LINO LINS LINT LINY LION LIPA LIPE LIPO LIPS LIRA LIRE LIRI LIRK LISK LISP LIST LITE LITH LITS LITU LIVE LOAD LOAF LOAM LOAN LOBE LOBI LOBO LOBS LOCA LOCH LOCI LOCK LOCO LODE LODS LOFT LOGE LOGO LOGS LOGY LOID LOIN LOIR LOKE LOLL LOMA LOME LONE LONG LOOF LOOK LOOM LOON LOOP LOOR LOOS LOOT LOPE LOPS LORD LORE LORN LORY LOSE LOSH LOSS LOST LOTA LOTE LOTH LOTI LOTO LOTS LOUD LOUN LOUP LOUR LOUS LOUT LOVE LOWE LOWN LOWP LOWS LOWT LOYS LUAU LUBE LUCE LUCK LUDE LUDO LUDS LUES LUFF LUGE LUGS LUIT LUKE LULL LULU LUMA LUMP LUMS LUNA LUNE LUNG LUNK LUNT LUNY LURE LURK LURS LUSH LUSK LUST LUTE LUTZ LUVS LUXE LWEI LYAM LYCH LYES LYME LYMS LYNE LYNX LYRA LYRE LYSE LYTE
MAAR MAAS MABE MACE MACH MACK MACS MADE MADS MAES MAGE MAGG MAGI MAGS MAHA MAID MAIK MAIL MAIM MAIN MAIR MAKE MAKI MAKO MAKS MALA MALE MALI MALL MALM MALS MALT MAMA MAMS MANA MAND MANE MANG MANI MANO MANS MANY MAPS MARA MARC MARD MARE MARG MARK MARL MARM MARS MART MARY MASA MASE MASH MASK MASS MAST MASU MATE MATH MATS MATT MATY MAUD MAUL MAUN MAUT MAWK MAWN MAWR MAWS MAXI MAYA MAYO MAYS MAZE MAZY MEAD MEAL MEAN MEAT MECK MEDS MEED MEEK MEER MEES MEET MEFF MEGA MEGS MEIN MELA MELD MELL MELS MELT MEME MEMO MEMS MEND MENE MENG MENO MENT MENU MEOU MEOW MERC MERE MERI MERK MERL MESA MESE MESH MESS META METE METH METS MEUS MEVE MEWL MEWS MEZE MEZZ MHOS MIBS MICA MICE MICH MICK MICO MICS MIDI MIDS MIEN MIFF MIGG MIGS MIHA MIHI MIKE MILD MILE MILF MILK MILL MILO MILS MILT MIME MINA MIND MINE MING MINI MINK MINO MINT MINX MINY MIPS MIRE MIRI MIRK MIRO MIRS MIRV MIRY MISE MISO MISS MIST MITE MITT MITY MIXT MIXY MIZZ MNAS MOAI MOAN MOAS MOAT MOBE MOBS MOBY MOCH MOCK MOCS MODE MODI MODS MOER MOES MOFO MOGS MOHR MOIL MOIT MOJO MOKE MOKI MOKO MOLA MOLD MOLE MOLL MOLS MOLT MOLY MOME MOMI MOMS MONA MONG MONK MONO MONS MONY MOOD MOOI MOOK MOOL MOON MOOP MOOR MOOS MOOT MOPE MOPS MOPY MORA MORE MORN MORS MORT MOSE MOSH MOSK MOSS MOST MOTE MOTH MOTI MOTS MOTT MOTU MOUE MOUP MOUS MOVE MOWA MOWN MOWS MOXA MOYA MOYL MOYS MOZE MOZO MOZZ MUCH MUCK MUDS MUFF MUGG MUGS MUID MUIL MUIR MULE MULL MUMM MUMP MUMS MUMU MUNG MUNI MUNS MUNT MUON MURA MURE MURK MURL MURR MUSE MUSH MUSK MUSO MUSS MUST MUTE MUTI MUTS MUTT MUZZ MWAH MYAL MYCS MYNA MYTH MYXO MZEE
NAAM NAAN NABE NABK NABS NACH NADA NADS NAFF NAGA NAGS NAIF NAIK NAIL NAIN NALA NAME NAMS NAMU NANA NANE NANG NANS NAOI NAOS NAPA NAPE NAPS NARC NARD NARE NARK NARY NATS NAVE NAVY NAYS NAZE NAZI NEAL NEAP NEAR NEAT NEBS NECK NEDS NEED NEEM NEEP NEFS NEGS NEIF NEKS NEMA NEMN NENE NEON NEPS NERD NERK NESH NESS NEST NETE NETS NETT NEUK NEUM NEVE NEVI NEWS NEWT NEXT NGAI NIBS NICE NICK NIDE NIDI NIDS NIED NIEF NIES NIFE NIFF NIGH NILL NILS NIMB NIMS NINE NIPA NIPS NIRL NISH NISI NITE NITS NIXE NIXY NOAH NOBS NOCK NODE NODI NODS NOEL NOES NOGG NOGS NOIL NOIR NOLE NOLL NOLO NOMA NOME NOMS NONA NONE NONG NONI NOOB NOOK NOON NOOP NOPE NORI NORK NORM NOSE NOSH NOSY NOTA NOTE NOTT NOUL NOUN NOUP NOUS NOUT NOVA NOWL NOWN NOWS NOWT NOWY NOYS NUBS NUDE NUFF NUKE NULL NUMB NUNS NURD NURL NURR NURS NUTS NYAS NYED NYES
OAFS OAKS OAKY OARS OARY OAST OATH OATS OATY OBAS OBES OBEY OBIA OBIS OBIT OBOE OBOL OBOS OCAS OCCY OCHE OCTA ODAH ODAL ODAS ODDS ODEA ODES ODIC ODOR ODSO ODYL OFAY OFFS OFFY OGAM OGEE OGLE OGRE OHED OHIA OHMS OIKS OILS OILY OINK OINT OKAS OKAY OKEH OKES OKRA OKTA OLDE OLDS OLDY OLEA OLEO OLES OLID OLIO OLLA OLMS OLPE OMBU OMEN OMER OMIT OMOV ONCE ONER ONES ONIE ONLY ONOS ONST ONTO ONUS ONYX OOFS OOFY OOHS OOMS OONS OONT OOPS OOSE OOSY OOTS OOZE OOZY OPAH OPAL OPED OPEN OPES OPPO OPTS OPUS ORAD ORAL ORBS ORBY ORCA ORCS ORDO ORDS ORES ORFE ORFS ORGY ORLE ORRA ORTS ORYX ORZO OSAR OSES OSSA OTIC OTTO OUCH OUDS OUKS OULD OULK OUMA OUPA OUPH OUPS OURN OURS OUST OUTS OUZO OVAL OVEL OVEN OVER OVUM OWED OWER OWES OWLS OWLY OWNS OWRE OWSE OWTS OXEN OXER OXES OXID OXIM OYER OYES OYEZ PAAL
PAAN PACA PACE PACK PACO PACS PACT PACY PADI PADS PAGE PAHS PAID PAIK PAIL PAIN PAIR PAIS PALE PALL PALM PALP PALS PALY PAMS PAND PANE PANG PANS PANT PAPA PAPE PAPS PARA PARD PARE PARK PARP PARR PARS PART PASE PASH PASS PAST PATE PATH PATS PATU PATY PAUA PAUL PAVE PAVS PAWA PAWK PAWL PAWN PAWS PAYS PEAG PEAK PEAL PEAN PEAR PEAS PEAT PEBA PECH PECK PECS PEDS PEED PEEK PEEL PEEN PEEP PEER PEES PEGH PEGS PEHS PEIN PEKE PELA PELE PELF PELL PELS PELT PEND PENE PENI PENK PENS PENT PEON PEPO PEPS PERE PERI PERK PERM PERN PERP PERT PERV PESO PEST PETS PEWS PFFT PFUI PHAT PHEW PHIS PHIZ PHOH PHON PHOS PHOT PHUT PIAL PIAN PIAS PICA PICE PICK PICS PIED PIER PIES PIET PIGS PIKA PIKE PIKI PILA PILE PILI PILL PILY PIMA PIMP PINA PINE PING PINK PINS PINT PINY PION PIOY PIPA PIPE PIPI PIPS PIPY PIRL PIRN PIRS PISE PISH PISO PISS PITA PITH PITS PITY PIUM PIXY PIZE PLAN PLAP PLAT PLAY PLEA PLEB PLED PLEW PLEX PLIE PLIM PLOD PLOP PLOT PLOW PLOY PLUE PLUG PLUM PLUS POAS POCK POCO PODS POEM POEP POET POGO POGY POIS POKE POKY POLE POLK POLL POLO POLS POLT POLY POME POMO POMP POMS POND PONE PONG PONK PONS PONT PONY POOD POOF POOH POOK POOL POON POOP POOR POOS POOT POPE POPS PORE PORK PORN PORT PORY POSE POSH POSS POST POSY POTE POTS POTT POUF POUK POUR POUT POWN POWS POXY POZZ PRAD PRAM PRAO PRAT PRAU PRAY PREE PREM PREP PREX PREY PREZ PRIG PRIM PROA PROB PROD PROF PROG PROM PROO PROP PROS PROW PRUH PRYS PSIS PSST PTUI PUBE PUBS PUCE PUCK PUDS PUDU PUER PUFF PUGH PUGS PUHA PUIR PUJA PUKA PUKE PUKU PUKY PULA PULE PULI PULK PULL PULP PULS PULU PULY PUMA PUMP PUMY PUNA PUNG PUNK PUNS PUNT PUNY PUPA PUPS PUPU PURE PURI PURL PURR PURS PUSH PUSS PUTS PUTT PUTZ PUYS PYAS PYAT PYES PYET PYIC PYIN PYNE PYOT PYRE PYRO QADI
QAID QATS QINS QOPH QUAD QUAG QUAI QUAT QUAY QUEP QUEY QUID QUIM QUIN QUIP QUIT QUIZ QUOD QUOP
RABI RACA RACE RACH RACK RACY RADE RADS RAFF RAFT RAGA RAGE RAGG RAGI RAGS RAGU RAHS RAIA RAID RAIK RAIL RAIN RAIS RAIT RAJA RAKE RAKI RAKU RALE RAMI RAMP RAMS RANA RAND RANG RANI RANK RANT RAPE RAPS RAPT RARE RARK RASE RASH RASP RAST RATA RATE RATH RATO RATS RATU RAUN RAVE RAVS RAWN RAWS RAYA RAYS RAZE RAZZ READ REAK REAL REAM REAN REAP REAR REBS RECK RECS REDD REDE REDO REDS REED REEF REEK REEL REEN REES REFS REFT REGO REGS REHS REIF REIK REIN REIS REKE RELY REMS REND RENK RENS RENT RENY REOS REPO REPP REPS RESH REST RETE RETS REVS REWS RHEA RHOS RHUS RIAD RIAL RIAS RIBA RIBS RICE RICH RICK RICY RIDE RIDS RIEL RIEM RIFE RIFF RIFS RIFT RIGG RIGS RILE RILL RIMA RIME RIMS RIMU RIMY RIND RINE RING RINK RINS RIOT RIPE RIPP RIPS RIPT RISE RISK RISP RITE RITS RITT RITZ RIVA RIVE RIVO RIZA ROAD ROAM ROAN ROAR ROBE ROBS ROCH ROCK ROCS RODE RODS ROED ROES ROIL ROIN ROJI ROKE ROKS ROKY ROLE ROLF ROLL ROMA ROMP ROMS RONE RONG RONT RONZ ROOD ROOF ROOK ROOM ROON ROOP ROOS ROOT ROPE ROPY RORE RORT RORY ROSE ROST ROSY ROTA ROTE ROTI ROTL ROTO ROTS ROUE ROUL ROUM ROUP ROUT ROUX ROVE ROWS ROWT RUBE RUBS RUBY RUCK RUCS RUDD RUDE RUDS RUED RUER RUES RUFF RUGA RUGS RUIN RUKH RULE RULY RUME RUMP RUMS RUND RUNE RUNG RUNS RUNT RURP RURU RUSA RUSE RUSH RUSK RUST RUTH RUTS RYAL RYAS RYES RYFE RYKE RYND RYOT RYPE
SAAG SABE SABS SACK SACS SADE SADI SADO SADS SAFE SAFT SAGA SAGE SAGO SAGS SAGY SAIC SAID SAIL SAIM SAIN SAIR SAIS SAKE SAKI SALE SALL SALP SALS SALT SAMA SAME SAMP SAMS SAND SANE SANG SANK SANS SANT SAPS SARD SARI SARK SARS SASH SASS SATE SATI SAUL SAUT SAVE SAVS SAWN SAWS SAXE SAYS SCAB SCAD SCAG SCAM SCAN SCAR SCAT SCAW SCOG SCOP SCOT SCOW SCRY SCUD SCUG SCUL SCUM SCUP SCUR SCUT SCYE SEAL SEAM SEAN SEAR SEAS SEAT SECH SECO SECS SECT SEED SEEK SEEL SEEM SEEN SEEP SEER SEES SEGO SEGS SEIF SEIK SEIL SEIR SEIS SEKT SELD SELE SELF SELL SELS SEME SEMI SENA SEND SENE SENS SENT SEPS SEPT SERA SERE SERF SERK SERR SERS SESE SESH SESS SETA SETS SETT SEWN SEWS SEXT SEXY SEYS SHAD SHAG SHAH SHAM SHAN SHAT SHAW SHAY SHEA SHED SHES SHET SHEW SHIM SHIN SHIP SHIR SHIT SHIV SHMO SHOD SHOE SHOG SHOO SHOP SHOT SHOW SHRI SHUL SHUN SHUT SHWA SIAL SIBB SIBS SICE SICH SICK SICS SIDA SIDE SIDH SIEN SIES SIFT SIGH SIGN SIJO SIKA SIKE SILD SILE SILK SILL SILO SILT SIMA SIMI SIMP SIMS SIND SINE SING SINH SINK SINS SIPE SIPS SIRE SIRI SIRS SISS SIST SITE SITH SITS SITZ SIZE SIZY SJOE SKAG SKAS SKAT SKAW SKEE SKEG SKEN SKEO SKEP SKER SKET SKEW SKID SKIM SKIN SKIO SKIP SKIS SKIT SKOL SKRY SKUA SKUG SKYF SKYR SLAB SLAE SLAG SLAM SLAP SLAT SLAW SLAY SLEB SLED SLEE SLEW SLEY SLID SLIM SLIP SLIT SLOB SLOE SLOG SLOP SLOT SLOW SLUB SLUE SLUG SLUM SLUR SLUT SMEE SMEW SMIR SMIT SMOG SMUG SMUR SMUT SNAB SNAG SNAP SNAR SNAW SNEB SNED SNEE SNIB SNIG SNIP SNIT SNOB SNOD SNOG SNOT SNOW SNUB SNUG SNYE SOAK SOAP SOAR SOBA SOBS SOCA SOCK SOCS SODA SODS SOFA SOFT SOGS SOHO SOHS SOIL SOJA SOKE SOLA SOLD SOLE SOLI SOLO SOLS SOMA SOME SOMS SOMY SONE SONG SONS SOOK SOOL SOOM SOON SOOP SOOT SOPH SOPS SORA SORB SORD SORE SORI SORN SORT SOSS SOTH SOTS SOUK SOUL SOUM SOUP SOUR SOUS SOUT SOVS SOWF SOWL SOWM SOWN SOWP SOWS SOYA SOYS SPAE SPAG SPAM SPAN SPAR SPAS SPAT SPAW SPAY SPAZ SPEC SPED SPEK SPET SPEW SPIC SPIE SPIF SPIK SPIM SPIN SPIT SPIV SPOD SPOT SPRY SPUD SPUE SPUG SPUN SPUR SRIS STAB STAG STAP STAR STAT STAW STAY STED STEM STEN STEP STET STEW STEY STIE STIM STIR STOA STOB STOP STOT STOW STUB STUD STUM STUN STYE SUBA SUBS SUCH SUCK SUDD SUDS SUED SUER SUES SUET SUGH SUGO SUGS SUID SUIT SUKH SUKS SULK SULU SUMO SUMP SUMS SUMY SUNG SUNI SUNK SUNN SUNS SUPE SUPS SUQS SURA SURD SURE SURF SUSS SUSU SWAB SWAD SWAG SWAM SWAN SWAP SWAT SWAY SWEE SWEY SWIG SWIM SWIZ SWOB SWOP SWOT SWUM SYBO SYCE SYED SYEN SYES SYKE SYLI SYNC SYND SYNE SYPE SYPH
TAAL TABI TABS TABU TACE TACH TACK TACO TACT TADS TAED TAEL TAES TAGS TAHA TAHR TAIG TAIL TAIN TAIS TAIT TAKA TAKE TAKI TAKS TAKY TALA TALC TALE TALI TALK TALL TAME TAMP TAMS TANA TANE TANG TANH TANK TANS TAOS TAPA TAPE TAPS TAPU TARA TARE TARN TARO TARP TARS TART TASH TASK TASS TATE TATH TATS TATT TATU TAUS TAUT TAVA TAVS TAWA TAWS TAWT TAXA TAXI TAYS TEAD TEAK TEAL TEAM TEAR TEAS TEAT TECH TECS TEDS TEDY TEED TEEK TEEL TEEM TEEN TEER TEES TEFF TEFS TEGG TEGS TEGU TEHR TEIL TEIN TELA TELD TELE TELL TELS TELT TEME TEMP TEMS TEND TENE TENS TENT TEPA TERF TERM TERN TEST TETE TETH TETS TEWS TEXT THAE THAN THAR THAT THAW THEE THEM THEN THEW THEY THIG THIN THIO THIR THIS THON THOU THRO THRU THUD THUG THUS TIAN TIAR TICE TICH TICK TICS TIDE TIDS TIDY TIED TIER TIES TIFF TIFT TIGE TIGS TIKA TIKE TIKI TIKS TILE TILL TILS TILT TIME TINA TIND TINE TING TINK TINS TINT TINY TIPI TIPS TIPT TIRE TIRL TIRO TIRR TITE TITI TITS TIVY TIZZ TOAD TOBY TOCK TOCO TOCS TODS TODY TOEA TOED TOES TOEY TOFF TOFT TOFU TOGA TOGE TOGS TOHO TOIL TOIT TOKE TOKO TOLA TOLD TOLE TOLL TOLT TOLU TOMB TOME TOMO TOMS TONE TONG TONK TONS TONY TOOK TOOL TOOM TOON TOOT TOPE TOPH TOPI TOPO TOPS TORA TORC TORE TORI TORN TORO TORR TORS TORT TORY TOSA TOSE TOSH TOSS TOST TOTE TOTS TOUK TOUN TOUR TOUT TOWN TOWS TOWT TOWY TOYO TOYS TOZE TRAD TRAM TRAP TRAT TRAY TREE TREF TREK TRES TRET TREW TREY TREZ TRIE TRIG TRIM TRIN TRIO TRIP TROD TROG TRON TROP TROT TROW TROY TRUE TRUG TRYE TRYP TSAR TSKS TUAN TUBA TUBE TUBS TUCK TUFA TUFF TUFT TUGS TUIS TULE TUMP TUMS TUNA TUND TUNE TUNG TUNS TUNY TUPS TURD TURF TURK TURM TURN TUSH TUSK TUTS TUTU TUZZ TWAE TWAL TWAS TWAT TWAY TWEE TWIG TWIN TWIT TWOS TYDE TYED TYEE TYER TYES TYGS TYIN TYKE TYMP TYND TYNE TYPE TYPO TYPP TYPY TYRE TYRO TYTE TZAR
UDAL UDON UDOS UEYS UFOS UGHS UGLY UKES ULAN ULES ULEX ULNA ULUS ULVA UMBO UMMA UMPH UMPS UMPY UMRA UMUS UNAI UNAU UNBE UNCE UNCI UNCO UNDE UNDO UNDY UNIS UNIT UNTO UPAS UPBY UPDO UPGO UPON UPSY UPTA URAO URBS URDE URDS URDY UREA URES URGE URIC URNS URPS URSA URUS URVA USED USER USES UTAS UTES UTIS UTUS UVAE UVAS UVEA
VACS VADE VAES VAGI VAGS VAIL VAIN VAIR VALE VALI VAMP VANE VANG VANS VANT VARA VARE VARS VARY VASA VASE VAST VATS VATU VAUS VAUT VAVS VAWS VEAL VEEP VEER VEES VEGA VEGO VEHM VEIL VEIN VELA VELD VELE VELL VENA VEND VENT VERA VERB VERD VERS VERT VERY VEST VETO VETS VEXT VIAE VIAL VIAS VIBE VIBS VICE VIDE VIDS VIED VIER VIES VIEW VIGA VIGS VILD VILE VILL VIMS VINA VINE VINO VINS VINT VINY VIOL VIRE VIRL VISA VISE VITA VITE VIVA VIVE VIVO VIZY VLEI VLOG VOAR VOES VOID VOIP VOLA VOLE VOLK VOLS VOLT VORS VOTE VOWS VRIL VROT VROU VROW VUGG VUGH VUGS VULN VUMS
WAAC WABS WACK WADD WADE WADI WADS WADT WADY WAES WAFF WAFT WAGE WAGS WAID WAIF WAIL WAIN WAIR WAIS WAIT WAKA WAKE WAKF WALD WALE WALI WALK WALL WALY WAME WAND WANE WANG WANK WANS WANT WANY WAPS WAQF WARB WARD WARE WARK WARM WARN WARP WARS WART WARY WASE WASH WASP WAST WATE WATS WATT WAUK WAUL WAUR WAVE WAVY WAWA WAWE WAWL WAWS WAXY WAYS WEAK WEAL WEAN WEAR WEBS WEDS WEED WEEK WEEL WEEM WEEN WEEP WEER WEES WEET WEFT WEID WEIL WEIR WEKA WELD WELK WELL WELS WELT WEMB WEMS WENA WEND WENS WENT WEPT WERE WERO WERT WEST WETA WETS WEXE WEYS WHAE WHAM WHAP WHAT WHEE WHEN WHET WHEW WHEY WHID WHIG WHIM WHIN WHIO WHIP WHIR WHIT WHIZ WHOA WHOM WHOP WHOT WHOW WHUP WHYS WICE WICH WICK WIDE WIEL WIFE WIGS WIKI WILD WILE WILI WILL WILT WILY WIMP WIND WINE WING WINK WINN WINO WINS WINY WIPE WIRE WIRY WISE WISH WISP WISS WIST WITE WITH WITS WIVE WOAD WOCK WOES WOFS WOGS WOKE WOKS WOLD WOLF WOMB WONK WONS WONT WOOD WOOF WOOL WOON WOOS WOOT WOPS WORD WORE WORK WORM WORN WORT WOST WOTS WOVE WOWF WOWS WRAP WREN WRIT WUDS WUDU WULL WUSS WYCH WYES WYLE WYND WYNN WYNS WYTE
XRAY XYST
YAAR YABA YACK YADS YAFF YAGI YAGS YAHS YAKS YALD YALE YAMS YANG YANK YAPP YAPS YARD YARE YARK YARN YARR YATE YAUD YAUP YAWL YAWN YAWP YAWS YAWY YAYS YBET YEAD YEAH YEAN YEAR YEAS YEBO YECH YEDE YEED YEGG YELD YELK YELL YELM YELP YELT YENS YEPS YERD YERK YESK YEST YETI YETT YEUK YEVE YEWS YGOE YIDS YIKE YILL YINS YIPE YIPS YIRD YIRK YIRR YITE YLEM YLKE YMPE YMPT YOBS YOCK YODE YODH YODS YOGA YOGH YOGI YOKE YOKS YOLD YOLK YOMP YOND YONI YONT YOOF YOOP YORE YORK YORP YOUK YOUR YOUS YOWE YOWL YOWS YUAN YUCA YUCH YUCK YUFT YUGA YUGS YUKE YUKO YUKS YUKY YULE YUMP YUNX YUPS YURT YUTZ YUZU YWIS
ZACK ZAGS ZANY ZAPS ZARF ZARI ZATI ZEAL ZEAS ZEBU ZEDS ZEES ZEIN ZEKS ZELS ZEPS ZERK ZERO ZEST ZETA ZEZE ZHOS ZIFF ZIGS ZILA ZILL ZIMB ZINC ZINE ZING ZINS ZIPS ZITE ZITI ZITS ZIZZ ZOBO ZOBU ZOEA ZOIC ZOLS ZONA ZONE ZONK ZOOM ZOON ZOOS ZOOT ZORI ZOUK ZULU ZUPA ZURF ZYGA ZYME ZZZS
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Half-bear, half-owl, all-murder. The ferocious Owlbear might look cute, but its only interest in you is how tasty you are - Lore & History

If we had to rank the ugliest Dungeons & Dragons monsters, the Owlbear is definitely near the top along with the otyugh and the AD&D orcs. The Owlbear was created by Gary Gygax who was looking for new monsters for his players to fight. He found this kaiju monster toy in a small shop that labeled it as a ‘prehistoric animal’ and, along with other great monsters like the rust monster and the bulette, inducted it into the game. While the Owlbear was originally modeled by a toy company in China, it’s growth and development in Dungeons & Dragons can be credited to Gary Gygax and all the designers after him.
If you find yourself curious as to what the original toy Gygax designed the Owlbear off of, luckily Tony Diterlizzi, the awesome artist who did a lot of work for Planescape and the 2nd edition Monstrous Manual, shared it on his blog as well as a few others that Gygax had created. It’s fascinating to see these old chinasaurs and makes you want to run to a dollar store and see what horrifying ‘dinosaurs’ you can find to throw at your own party.
 

OD&D - Owl Bear

No. Appearing: 2-5
Armor Class: 5
Move: 12”
Hit Dice: 5
% in Lair: 40%
No. of Attacks: 2 claws/1 bite
Damage/Attack: 1-6/claw****, 1-12/bite
Treasure: C
**** hug on score of 18 or better causes 2-16 points of additional damage
The Owlbear, or as it was actually introduced Owl Bear, was featured in the supplement, Greyhawk (1975). The story behind its creation was that Gygax used a plastic toy from the Godzilla movies created by the company in Hong Kong. These toys were the inspiration behind a few of the early monsters Gygax used in his early games. Tim Kask, one of the first playtesters who later became the editor for Dragon magazine tells the story as follows:
There once was an unknown company in Hong Kong that made a bag of weird animal-things that were then sold in what once were called dime stores or variety stores for like $.99. I know of four other very early monsters based on them. Gary and I talked about how hard it was to find monster figures, and how one day he came upon this bag of weird beasts…He nearly ran home, eager as a kid to get home and open his baseball cards.
Tim Kask, Forums on Dragonsfoot.org
Kask goes on to say that the figures were the inspiration for the rust monster, purple worm, carrion crawler, umber hulk, and, of course, the Owlbear. Looking at a picture of this odd yellow-colored toy, we aren’t sure how he thought the creature looks like a combination of a bear and an owl. It seems more like a twisted version of Big Bird from Sesame Street if Big Bird was a flesh-eating, homicidal maniac.
The creature that Gygax created is described as having a ‘horrid visage and disposition’ but we suppose if people kept calling us horrid looking, we’d be angsty too. Their bodies are furry with thick skin, and its head has feathers covering most of that area. Our poor, genetically confused creature is one nasty customer, as it had multiple dangerous attacks. The Owlbear was able to attack with its giant beak, though calling the thing on its face a beak doesn’t really do it justice as it is a massive curved protrusion. While the attack is actually listed as a bite, we’re sure its not the Owlbear’s teeth that cause the damage. We’re convinced it’s the beak that the creature tries to impale you upon that does most of the damage.
Next up for our horrifying genetic mistake is that it gets a bit goofy with its claw attacks. Instead of trying to open your head with its can-opener beak, the Owlbear can make two claw attacks. If the DM rolls an 18+ on the attack, the Owlbear gets to hug you. Now, this isn’t a nice gentle squeeze from grandma, but a hug from a creature that is 8 feet tall and weighs around 1,500 pounds. You’ll take 2-16 points of damage and settle for a handshake next time.
 

Basic D&D - Owlbear

Armor Class: 5
Hit Dice: 5
Move: 120’ (40’)
Attacks: 2 claws/1 bite
Damage: 1-8 each
No. Appearing: 1-4
Save As: Fighter 3
Morale: 9
Treasure Type: C
Alignment: Neutral
The Owlbear is introduced in the Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set (1971) followed by the Basic Sets from 1981 and 1983. For such a confusing and strange creature, the description is incredibly brief and a bit… strange. We understand why the Owlbear would live in the deep dark forest, but underground? Owls and bears live in the forest, not a dungeon. Described as a bear-like creature with an owl head, there is no picture in the book, leaving our imagination to conjure up all sorts of horrible visions, speaking of horrible… they are still described as 'horrid', which we are sure only makes the Owlbear angrier.
The Owlbear is described as being over 8 feet tall when it’s standing on its hind legs and weighs over 1,500 pounds, this doesn’t paint a very cuddly picture. They are also described as being foul-tempered and that they attack when encountered as they are always hungry. Now, what could you imagine a ferocious Owlbear likes to eat? Well, you probably guessed correctly and its meat, and guess what humanoids are made of… meat! So, the Owlbear is just one more monster in the long line of them that likes to eat your character. Tasty.
The Owlbear retains their painful hug, but now it only happens if they hit you with both claws instead of just getting a high roll on the attack. Add that to the potential of being hit three times and you could be having a very bad day very quickly. Their hit dice are nothing to scoff at either, as a White Dragon in this version only has 6 HD. They also have an AC of 5, which is surprisingly decent, especially for a creature that is unable to wear armor. So now we have a giant owl-headed bear with a good amount of hit points and decent armor that can hug you to death. Fun times.
The Owlbear later gets some time to shine as it shows up in Dungeons & Dragons Game set (1991), the Dungeons & Dragons Rules Cyclopedia (1991), the Classic Dungeons & Dragons Game Set (1994), and the Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Game Set (1999). Unfortunately, the creature’s stats and descriptions never see an update.
 

AD&D - Owlbear

Frequency: Rare
No. Appearing: 2-5
Armor Class: 5
Move: 12”
Hit Dice: 5+2
% in Lair: 30%
Treasure Type: C
No. of Attacks: 3
Damage/Attack: 1-6/1-6/2-12
Special Attacks: Hug
Special Defenses: Nil
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Low
Alignment: Neutral
Size: L (8’ tall)
Psionic Ability: Nil
The Owlbear appears in the Monster Manual (1977) and this edition brings it just a bit more information to chew on. Before we dive into talking about this horrid beast, we have to talk about the picture that comes along with the description. The drawing is based on the toy that was the inspiration for the Owlbear, and it is incredibly spot on… in the worst way. Its body looks nothing like a bear and its head has no resemblance to that of an owl, and the last time we checked a bear doesn’t have a giant tail. We’re not sure why it’s arms and legs have less hair on them, but they are noticeably paler than the rest of the body. It has a hunchback and a strange gizzard-like neck. The head is… ridiculous is the only appropriate word for it, it looks like it’s wearing a strange looking hat made of what we can only assume is feathers. The face is less of a face and more of one giant beak with tiny little teeth and one narrow eye. Thank goodness for the Owlbear that the only other picture on the page is that of the otyugh, who has a face, not even a mother could love.
The Owlbear gets a tiny bit of backstory, as it is surmised that the creation of this foul beast may have come about at the hands of a wizard, which is just code for 'Nobody wanted to think too hard about a bear and an owl getting it on'. This makes us feel slightly bad for the Owlbears, they are incredibly grumpy and hungry and they didn’t ask for this life!
Owlbears are described as a combination of brown fur and yellow feathers, it’s beak is a much lighter color, from yellow to ivory. They can still weigh up to 1,500 pounds, and it’s cruel eyes are usually red-rimmed, as if it had been crying. Maybe it saw itself in a mirror or the highly polished shield of a paladin perhaps, and finally saw what it looked like. We feel for it, that’s a daily occurrence for us.
The Owlbear can be found in deep dark forests or underground labyrinths. While exploring those lost ruins and labyrinths, you may also stumble across Mr. and Mrs. Owlbear in their lair, and there is a 1 in 4 chance that they’ll have a few little ones running around. There is also a chance that their young haven’t hatched yet and that there are up to 6 eggs just ready to be plundered by adventurers for a nice omelet. Since the Owlbear comes from an egg, we have to figure that the genetic experiments resulted in more owl DNA than just the strange owl head and feathers. Now, we talked about using the Owlbear eggs to make an omelet, but before you get that fire going, let’s talk about gold. Owlbear eggs are worth up to 2,000 gold while the young go for 5,000 gold. Of course, the Owlbears aren’t just going to let you take their young, Owlbears fight to the death, no matter the stakes plus there is a 50% chance that the Owlbear ‘cubs’ you are hoping for will be full-grown and fight side by side with mom and dad.
The rest of the Owlbear is largely unchanged from the previous editions and they are still known for giving their bear hugs, though it states that anywho is locked in this hug takes the damage at the start of the Owlbear’s turn every round… which is gotta be horrifying for those trying to save their party member. All they see is the fighter get a massive hug, and then they start hearing screams as bones begin breaking and the gleaming owl beak of the Owlbear begins pecking and biting into the fighter’s head, trying to break it open like a kinder egg… We wonder what the surprise will be! Probably nothing, we all know that fighters aren’t the brightest.
 

2e - Owlbear

Climate/Terrain: Temperate Forest
Frequency: Rare
Organization: Pack
Activity Cycle: Late afternoon/early evening
Diet: Carnivore
Intelligence: Low (5-7)
Treasure: (C)
Alignment: Neutral
No. Appearing: 1 (2-8)
Armor Class: 5
Movement: 12
Hit Dice: 5+2
THAC0: 15
No. of Attacks: 3
Damage/Attack: 1-6/1-6/2-12
Special Attacks: Hug
Special Defenses: Nil
Magic Resistance: Nil
Size: L (8’ tall)
Morale: Steady (11-12) + Special
XP Value: 420
The Owlbear appears first in the Monstrous Compendium Volume One (1989) and is later added to the Monstrous Manual (1993). The picture in the Monstrous Compendium gets slightly better and features just the top half of the ferocious beast and you can make our more details! Wicked claws, horrifying owl beak and… teeth… lots of teeth. It’s like staring into the mouth of a penguin and being horrified by what you see. In the Monstrous Manual, we get a full-color drawing of the beast by Tony DiTerlizzi and it is as whimsical as anything else he has drawn! Brown fur with owl feathers, a tongue sticking out, and wicked claws… we still don’t want to get lost in a forest with one of them, but at least it won’t be as embarrassing to die by this beast than before. No one wants to die to a homicidal Big Bird.
Their description and background remain the same except for a few humorous additions, and it's actually kind of sad. Typically in 2e, we get a full page of information about the exotic life of the creatures and how they reside in their ecosystem with words crammed into every part of the page… the poor Owlbear has plenty of room leftover on the page and has a glaring block of white space that could be used to give it a more interesting backstory and ecology! Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Instead, our Owlbear is still created by a mad wizard, it is implied that upon creation, the Owlbear killed the wizard. We hope it was a slow and painful death, Mother Nature should not be screwed with in such a horrifying way. The Owlbear also gets its own language, if you consider screeching at various pitches a language. We can only imagine the terror of being trapped in a labyrinth and hearing that noise echoing throughout the maze.
How and where they live also remains mostly the same, and now they can also live in caves and hollow tree stumps. Caves we get, but hollow tree stumps? That had to be one big ass tree, especially if they expect there to be a pack of them. Speaking of packs, when an Owlbear couple decides to settle down and make a family, they claim up to two square miles as their own. Don’t trespass, as they are very touchy about visitors, and will try to kill you immediately. As we have mentioned before, the Owlbear will fight to the death. Now you can use that to your advantage, as their crazed fury blinds them to the dangers you can create for them. The text suggests that you lure them off a cliff or drop a bunch of boulders on them. It does go on to say, of course, that is only if you can find a cliff. Even with a low Intelligence, we’re pretty sure the Owlbear won’t do this, but if it does, you’d better hope you’re not being hugged when it happens.
We are given a bit of information in regards to the ecology of the Owlbear and the text describes a creature that lives with the results of two creatures being smashed together through magic. Living 20 years, they are warm-blooded animals, like a bear would be, but like an owl, their cubs are hatched from what must be really, really large eggs. They are carnivores and are only interested in anything tasty like rabbits, snakes, bears, and one must always assume humanoids because we are incredibly delicious. Their sleep patterns are a lot like that of a teenager in that they don’t rise until noon and then hunt all afternoon and night until they tucker themselves out and go to sleep at midnight. They hate the cold and their bear tendencies shine through in the winter when they hibernate, though there are rumors of arctic Owlbears… so watch out. Lastly, they can’t be domesticated, and why anyone would ever want one is beyond us. If you need a hug that badly, go visit your mom. They are captured and sold in markets throughout the world, where they command a high price and many a powerful person has purchased an Owlbear to serve as an unwitting protector of their owner’s property.
In 1995, we are given an interesting article in Dragon #214 (February), the Ecology of the Owlbear by Johnathan Richards. This article tells the story of how two adventurers almost got themselves killed by Owlbears. The two adventurers, a grizzled old veteran Griff, and a young apprentice Colin who has no business going out in the wilderness. They track down an Owlbear and use honey to distract the poor creature and end up killing it with a poisoned crossbow bolt. Of course, you’d assume that Griff, who basically brags to know everything about Owlbears would know that some Owlbears mate and have babies. While Griff is skinning the first Owlbear, the second Owlbear comes out of a cave and gets a little upset, and we might say unreasonable, and begins attacking the two. Somehow, they survive the encounter and find a few Owlbear eggs to sell in the market.
Now, this piece in the article is especially interesting because they provide ways of augmenting the normal Owlbear and giving it even more owl and bear traits, this does make a stronger monster but does give it a lot more flavor to its mechanics. Owlbears, even after you killed them, still want to fight for several more rounds before it finally decides to die… We recommend distracting them with the one thing bears apparently can’t resist. Honey! Honey is one of the few things that an Owlbear loves to eat, the other things being you and anything else filled with delicious meat.
Owlbears, like bears, mark their territories by sharpening their claws on trees, though they can’t climb a tree… which seems a bit weird seeing as how bears can climb trees and owls can roost in them. Luckily for you though, you can hide in a tree and be safe from the horrid beast below you on the forest floor, unlucky for you because you are stuck in that tree. Owlbears are known for waiting days, angrily waiting for you to come down so it can show you just how pissed off it is. They are also known for being so strong as to knock fully matured trees down, so there’s that too.
This updated Owlbear also gains a few other characteristics of its owl half, like it can swivel its head a full 270 degrees and can quickly whip its head back and forth with ease. In the realm of the weird, the Owlbear has a third transparent eyelid that provides an extra layer of protection, as the young Colin finds out when he tries to blind the Owlbear by throwing dirt into its face. Just as the owl does, the Owlbear tears its food into chunks and doesn’t bother chewing as it gulps those chunks down. What it can’t digest gets turned into leftover pellets that it spits up as owl pellets.
At the end of the article, we are introduced to two new Owlbears, which are later reprinted in the Monstrous Compendium Annual Volume Three (1996), The Artic Owlbear and the Flying Owlbear. As you can probably guess, one lives in the cold and snow, and the other can fly. The Arctic Owlbear has more hit dice than our regular Owlbear and is a snowy white color, giving it great camouflage as it waits in the snow, ready to pounce. Also, its a mix of a polar bear and a snow owl. The Flying Owlbear can fly, which is a very disturbing thought. As if dealing with a regular Owlbear isn’t bad enough, now it can rain down death from the sky and are incredibly stealthy and hard to notice until the wizard suddenly learns to fly and soars away to be eaten in the clouds.
The last Owlbear of 2nd edition is featured in Dungeon #63 (July 1997) and is part of an adventure called Hunt for the Heirophant by Chris Doyle. The Owlbear featured is a Dire Owlbear of immense size and strength, it has more hit points, deals more damage and is a ferocious brute who was placed in stasis because a wizard wanted to use it as a guard. The party must fight the Dire Owlbear and the wizard asks that they don’t kill it… which we are sure is going over well for the fighter caught in its hug and is currently being lobotomized by a bird beak.
 

3e/3.5e - Owlbear

Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple +5/+14
Attacks: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Track
Climate/Terrain: Temperate forests
Orgnization: Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (large); 9-15 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: -
The owlbear appears in the Monster Manual (2000/2003) and before we talk about the shockingly small amount of information our fine-feathered and furry-murder-beast received in this edition, we first have to discuss the Owlbear’s picture. It’s once again back to standing upright and its arms are these odd feather-covered appendages that look more like wings than arms. Its yellow-brownish color gives it a regal look which would be great if its facial expression wasn’t one that said it was going to rip your throat out. All in all, it looks like a person dressed up in a giant bird suit screaming because they can’t get out. Or maybe someone is playing a horrible prank on a bear and glued on some feathers and a beak, and the bear is upset… either way, probably best not to get too close, they look dangerous.
The short description provided leaves a lot to be desired, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to talk about. They are active during the day or night, and it largely depends on the available prey in the area, so now breakfast is no longer safe from them. Eggs and young Owlbears still fetch a handsome reward, and now you have the privilege of paying an exorbitant amount, 2,000 gp, to an Owlbear trainer if you want one of your very own… which, is probably the safest thing to do. If the Owlbear is going to murder someone, its better that its the trainer and not you… that way you can get your 2,000 gp back from the thoroughly shredded body. Finally, the term ‘hug’ is dropped, as the attack is now referred to as an improved grab ability and honestly… we kind of miss the idea of the Owlbear squeezing people to death like their a tube of toothpaste and it's trying to squeeze every drop out.
Fortunately for us, the Owlbear appears in many other places during this edition and even appears as an Owlbear Skeleton in the 3.5 Monster Manual! The creature provided is based on a template for creating skeletons, so while it doesn’t build on the lore… it does mean that just when you thought you were safe, clearing the nearby lands of Owlbear infestations, you now have the distinct possibility of having to fight one of these undead monsters. Life isn’t fair sometimes.
In the Forgotten Realms supplement Unapproachable East (2003), you can take your very own Owlbear feat called the Owlbear Berserker. Your barbarian lodge totem is an Owlbear and when you take this feat you get to make an unarmed attack, dealing 1d6 points of damage with a successful grapple check. We assume it's based on the owlbear’s hug ability since you probably don’t have a giant beak to peck with when the target is grappled.
After that comes a few other variant Owlbears, like the Flying Owlbear in the Dungeons #84 (January 2001) adventure The Dying of the Light, or the Ancient Owlbear in the Dungeon #107 (February 2004) adventure Mellorn Hospitality. The last type of Owlbear in this edition appears in the Bestiary of Kyrnn (2004, 2007) which has an Ankholian Undead Owlbear as one more creature to feed our nightmares. The Ankholian Undead is a template that you can apply to any monster you want and provides several additional undead abilities that provide a far more fearsome opponent than some sort of skeleton. An interesting fact about Ankholian undead creatures is that they get a breath weapon that gives them the ability to spew a 30-foot cone of green flame that doesn’t burn you, instead, it does slam you with cold damage and its usable once per minute. And just when you thought that that pack of Owlbear Skeletons would be the worst thing you had to face today…
 

4e - Owlbear

Level 8 Elite Brute
Large fey beast / XP 700
Initiative +6 / Senses Perception +12; low-light vision
HP 212; Bloodied 106; see also stunning screech
AC 22; Fortitude 22, Reflex 19, Will 20
Saving Throws +2
Speed 7
Action Points 1
Claw (standard; at will) Reach 2; 12 vs. AC; 2d6+5 damage
Double Attack (standard; at will) The owlbear makes two claw attacks. if both claws hit the same target, the target is grabbed (until escape).
Bite (standard; at will) Grabbed target only; automatic hit; 4d8+5 damage.
Stunning Screech (free, when first bloodied, encounter) Close burst 1; +10 vs. Fortitude; the target is stunned (save ends).
Alignment Unaligned / Languages -
Str 20 (+9) Dex 14 (+6) Wis 16 (+7) Con 16 (+7) Int 2 (+0) Cha 10 (+4)
The Owlbear appears in the Monster Manual (2008) and the first thing that we should mention is that they are now considered fey beasts… will get back to that. To keep up our tradition, let’s talk about the artwork. It looks good… suspiciously too good, which makes us wonder if some sort of Big Owlbear lobby is out there and bribed WotC to make a fearsome, scary, and accurate drawing of an Owlbear. Long claws, deadly beak, and a beautiful blending of feathers to fur… it took up till 4th edition to finally get some good artwork of the Owlbear and it was worth it.
Going back to the fey beast, the creature is no longer described as the creation of an insane wizard, but a predator from the Feywild. They live in the forest and in caves, hunt either during the day or night, mate, and reproduce. They somehow slipped over to the natural world and as far as we are concerned, the Feywild can have them back.
The claw/grab/crush attack, formally known as the hug attack remains, with the Owlbear grappling the target if it hits with both claw attacks and automatically bitting any target they grab on to. Owlbears also gain a new attack called the Stunning Screech, which allows them to screech so loud it will make your ears bleed and cause you to be stunned. It will then charge you down and begin attacking you with even more aggression and renew its tight squeeze to get at your meat flavored filling.
We are also introduced to the Winterclaw Owlbear, which is just a meaner, colder, and probably angrier Owlbear. While the Winterclaw loses its Stunning Screech, it gains a new cold attack known as Frost Wall. While this ability no longer stuns their prey, it instead sends out literal ice and immobilizes their target so that the Winterclaw can hang out a bit, talk about life and then begin squeezing you like a twinkie.
The lore goes on to describe how the inhabitants of the Feywild like to tame the Owlbears, using them to guard their territories. This is further expanded on in the Monster Vault Box Set (2010) which provides several new Owlbears to hug your party to death as well as a bit more information about the ecology of the Owlbear. They are gifted with the vision of the owl and the raw power of the bear. They just love to kill things and if they are in a prey-rich area, they will strew their territory with lots of dead bodies to attract scavengers. They will then sneak up on those pesky scavengers and eat them, displaying any leftovers to attract even more scavengers for it to lazily feed on.
Most describe the lairs of these Owlbears as horrendously smelly, and we are sure that the smell of rotting meat has to be bad… though some in the Feywild use this to their advantage and specifically set up their treetop communities over the lairs of these smelly Owlbears. The elves will have their beautiful cities guarded below them by the Owlbears, and hopefully, they have a constant strong wind to push away the overwhelming stench. This book also provides information on Young Owlbears, Trained Owlbears, and the Wind-Claw Owlbear who gets a new ability called Disembowel. Much like a massive hug, the Wind-Claw can attack you twice with its claws. If it hits on both attacks, it stuns you by disemboweling you… We are pretty confident that that would do a bit more than just stun us but probably kill us too.
 

5e - Owlbear

Large monstrosity, unaligned
Armor Class 13 (natural armor)
Hit Points 59 (7d10 + 21)
Speed 40 ft.
STR 20 (+5) | DEX 12 (+1) | CON 17 (+3 ) | INT 3 (-4) | WIS 12 (+1) | CHA 7 (-2)
Skills Perception +3
Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 13
Languages -
Challenge 3 (700 XP)
Keen Sight and Smell. The owlbear has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on sight or smell
Multiattack. The owlbear makes two attacks: one with its beak and one of its claws.
Beak. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 10 (1d10 + 5) piercing damage.
Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (2d8 + 5) slashing damage.
The Owlbear is introduced in the Monster Manual (2014) and the picture of the Owlbear is well-drawn and looks like a bear with an owl face. We’ve got some questions for the artists though, the Owlbear has had fur that has been brown, yellow, light yellow, dark brown, light brown, and is described as having the body of a bear… So why the sudden change to light purple? It may be nitpicking, but the purple color is throwing us off, along with it just feeling a bit uncanny. Honestly, we prefer the 4e version of the Owlbear whereas this just feels a bit too abstract with its strange arm wings.
Luckily for us, the lore provided for 5e makes up for its odd artwork and the Owlbear, instead of getting one origin story, gets two. Our first story is that an insane wizard created the Owlbear, which makes for a good story but still has no basis in fact that anyone can find. There is still no name, and all we get is that the Owlbears probably killed their creator. Maybe the wizard’s name has been in front of us the whole time. Just like Frankenstein is actually the name of the doctor who created the monster, maybe Owlbear is the name of the wizard who created the monster! Just let that sink in, these creatures were created by the Archmage Owlbear and he created them in his image… err… name? Your welcome for fixing this bit of lore you never knew you needed.
Of course, their second origin story is from 4e and is that they are from the Feywild and somehow made the crossing over to the Material Plane. While this second story seems more plausible, how much do you trust Elves? Let us ask that question a different way, how badly do you want there to be an Archmage Owlbear? You know which story we prefer.
Focusing on the facts known about the Owlbear, it is still extremely mean and will attack anything or anyone on sight. They live in the deep dark forest or caves, and apparently, they are very bad housekeepers. Their lairs are made up of scattered bones, blood, and the remains of their victims. They live either by themselves or if they have fallen in love with the right Owlbear, you may encounter a happy family of our furry-feathered-murder-beasts. A lot of the lore is actually taken directly from 4e’s Monster Vault, though some of it is slightly rewritten, and we still have elves using them to guard the ground beneath the tree-cities. While we are sure that the nearby neighbors of the elf-cities would complain about their property values dropping, no one in their right mind ever says anything since there is an Owlbear!
The first of the two biggest changes to the Owlbear deals with how it attacks. While the claw and beak attack remain, there are no more hugs of any sort. Our incredibly friendly Owlbear no longer has any chance to grapple its target and squeeze it to death. Is this even the Owlbear anymore? That was its signature move and they decided to take it away! While the damage is relatively high for its challenge rating, it just isn’t that terrifying. This travesty has yet to be resolved and they have had 6 years to correct their error, so one has to imagine this was done on purpose. Shame on you WotC, shame on you.
The second change is kind of cool, although nothing will compensate for the loss of the hug attack. Building on the 4e Owlbear that could be tamed, 5e takes it one step further. An Owlbear can now be trained to do all sorts of ‘domesticated’ tasks. Hobgoblins use them as war beasts and certain giants keep them as pets. Out in the wild frontier, the inhabitants love themselves some Owlbear as they use them as guards, which isn’t exactly a new thing, but they also train them to be ridden. We are pretty sure riding into town on an Owlbear would make you the biggest badass the locals have ever seen. Of course, what is even more badass is that you could ride them in Owlbear races! The image of a dozen or so of these 1,500-pound creatures galloping around a dirt track in the middle of nowhere is both exhilarating and terrifying. Especially as a lot of the people bet on not just who wins but who gets eaten first by their vicious mount.
Unfortunately for the Owlbear, it has largely been used as part of a random encounter and rarely provides much to the story across every edition of Dungeons & Dragons. Even in 5e, it appears in several adventures as a random encounter like in The Lost Mine of Phandelver (2014), Princes of the Apocalypse (2015), and Storm King’s Thunder (2016).
If you’re a DM and have a burning desire to watch your players freak out at the sight of this horrid creature, throw one into your campaign. If you are a player and you see one of these horrifying creatures running towards you and screeching like an owl out of hell, well… hopefully, you are playing 5th edition and you don’t have to worry about that massive bear-hug that will pop you like a pimple.
On a side note, we have created something that no one asked for! Now YOU can create your very own genetic mistake and throw a surprise curve ball at your players!

Build-An-Owlbear - Three charts to customize your own Owlbear!

Have a monster you'd like to see explored throughout the editions? Let us know in the comments!

Past Deep Dives

Creatures: Aboleth / Beholder / Displacer Beast / Flumph / Gelatinous Cube / Grell / Hobgoblin / Kobold / Kraken / Kuo-Toa / Lich / Lizardfolk / Mimic / Mind Flayer / Nothic / Rakshasa / Sahuagin / Umber Hulk / Vampire / Werewolf / Xorn
Spells: Fireball Spell / Lost Spells / Wish Spell
Other: Barbarian Class / Wizard Class / The History of Bigby / The History of the Blood War / The History of Vecna
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[Book Summary] Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose

Book name: Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose
Author: Tony Hsieh
About: Delivering Happiness resembles an autobiography of Hsieh with business and life lessons sprinkled throughout the story.
This summary attempts to keep the plot and structure of the book while emphasizing the lessons.
Quick summary about the author: Tony Hsieh co-founded LinkExchange, which was later bought by Microsoft for $250 million. He then started an investing, playing poker, and a whole bunch of other things before the 2008 recession. During and after the recession, he doubled down on being the CEO of Zappos, an online shoe company. After Amazon acquired Zappos, Hsieh claims to have found the path to profits, passion, and purpose.
The structure of Delivering Happiness:
——————————————————
Introduction: Finding My Way
SECTION I: PROFITS
Chapter 1: In Search of Profits
Chapter 2: You Win Some, You Lose Some
Chapter 3: Diversify
SECTION II: PROFITS AND PASSION
Chapter 4: Concentrate Your Position
Chapter 5: Platform for Growth: Brand, Culture, Pipeline
SECTION III: PROFITS, PASSION, AND PURPOSE
Chapter 6: Taking It to the Next Level
Chapter 7: End Game
Epilogue
——————————————————
Introduction: Finding My Way

Section 1: Profits

In Search of Profits
You Win Some, You Lose Some
I made a list of the happiest periods in my life, and I realized that none of them involved money. I realized that building stuff and being creative and inventive made me happy.
Diversify
I realized that whether in poker, in business, or in life, it was easy to get caught up and engrossed in what I was currently doing, and that made it easy to forget that I always had the option to change tables. Psychologically, it’s hard because of all the inertia to overcome. Without conscious and deliberate effort, inertia always win.
They were expensive lessons, but I guess what I ended up learning was that it’s a bad idea to invest in industries you don’t understand, in companies you don’t have any control or influence over, or in people you don’t know or trust.

As our group grew, I realized that forming new friendships and deepening the connections within our burgeoning tribe was bringing both a sense of stability and a sense of excitement about the future for all of us. The connectedness we felt was making all of us happier, and we realized that it was something that we had all missed from our college days. It was something that, like many people, we had unwittingly lost upon graduating from college, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it until we accidentally re-created it for ourselves.

Section II: Profits and Passion

Concentrate Your Position
He talks about what separates the great companies from just the good ones over the long term. One of the things that he found from his research was that great companies have a greater purpose and bigger vision beyond just making money or being number one in a market. A lot of companies fall into the trap of just focusing on making money, and then they never become a great company.
Platform for Growth: Brand, Culture, Pipeline
Looking back, a big reason we hit our goal early was that we decided to invest our time, money, and resources into three key areas: customer service (which would build our brand and drive word of mouth), culture (which would lead to the formation of our core values), and employee training and development (which would eventually lead to the creation of our Pipeline Team). Even today, our belief is that our Brand, our culture, and our Pipeline (which we internally refer to as “BCP”) are the only competitive advantages that we will have in the long run. Everything else can and will eventually be copied.
note: The following is quite advanced:
Note: This summary is over 40000 characters long. The rest is continued in my comment below.

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They Seem So Innocent When They're Sleepers... Undermining Our Society.

A serious sub for sufferers of a serious medical issue, mostly informational on various levels hovering somewhere between professional and personal. Obviously not an 'oh you poor dear' sub. Absolutely not an Agony Aunt sub... and yet there it is. Why?
To test the waters. Will the Writer get the craved attention and inducement to further dabble in changing a useful info-based sub into a hysterical, feelings-based fiction sub?

How to come to terms with Dad’s [65] Illness?

Red Flag: "come to terms" Any generic term with a psych background is suspect on Reddit: little more than informative tags on the Agony subs, but highly suspect in any in this case the Writer has put the demand right in the title: Let's talk about MY feelings. The act & style of the inclusion of the father's age tells you this is a long-term redditor who most certainly didn't start in the medical info subs.
Although my dad has yet to be diagnosed as we are waiting on a neurologist, I’m 99% sure that he has Illness as he all of the major symptoms [wizened little old guy description]. I only just realized it after spending a full weekend with him and noticed him struggling to do basic tasks. I told my husband and he said he noticed that my dad’s had symptoms for the last 3 years, although I always thought it was just ET.
Um... *just* ET? Apparently the writer didn't bother to look into Essential Tremor. Holy fuck, hon, that's what you thought your daddy had along WITH other diseases need very careful juggling and you were like 'la la la!' for years?... okay then! I remember that posture and all from the last few generations-- the tired patriarch.
My mom said that my dad had a tremor for at least 5 years now but always thought it was just from medication (he has high blood pressure, and diabetes). The slowness is pretty recent I think, and he has always had stiff muscles and poor posture so that made it difficult to tell. He hasn’t had too much trouble walking yet and he enjoys walking, although I’m not sure if that’s sufficient enough of an exercise.
From the timing - since the OP's been aware of the generic-type symptoms for years - Dad has recently spent his last socially-expected dime on Ms Sharper-Than-A-Snake-Tooth, but she's got some future big cash outlays already planned... what to do, what to do?
Even now her school bills land in dad's wallet; he's still paying for her wedding and the nose/boob job that somehow comes through clearly in the dark underpinnings of the plot. In the future, obviously, Daddy's Money will stay inside *his* household. Where obviously its Mom's turn to cash in on all the work she's been supplying to the family for the last 30+ years. I mean, steal OP's birthright. Whatev.
Meanwhile, Daddy's spent the last few years - since his retirement at 62 - sitting in his favorite chair with the remote, being catered to and turned into a physically disabled comma, but who cares about long-term results of inactivity as long as OP's dream life came true? ... and it has... but when you think about it--
Mama can't be trusted with daddy's wallet, can she? She might decide to fund that wild lifestyle OP reports Mom is up to. Which kind of makes you wonder who's manning the barricades while Hot Maman is out on the town whooping it up. Daddy can't move without help - info offered by OP as factual, and yet OP hasn't been up even for a weekend in over a year. Poor Mom! Maybe not so poor if Daddy's generous wallet comes into Mom's hands, it just might close. It could, good reddit readers, re-directed into unsavory directions!
Maybe the OP is real, and is laying a legal trail to keep her princess lifestyle accessible? We'll never know, but given the *context* this post inhabits, as one shining example inside an internet site just fucking stuffed lately with bright new examples of the same damned propaganda-- let's read on, hmm?
I’m only 27 myself and just got married and am hoping to start a family soon. I also have a pretty demanding career, that I’ve spent 6 years studying for and don’t want to have to give up on it. I didn’t expect that I would have to take care of both my future children and my dad at the same time. This is particularly hard as I’m an only child, and my mom, although mentally very sharp, has some mobility issues, and has never been the best with doing housework. She has been in denial since I brought it up to her but said she will bring him to see the doctor. She is still adamant that it’s from a shoulder injury 10 years ago. Is there anyone in the same boat (I.e young, just starting out in life, only child)?
OP wants it all, except for that 'pay it back' part. Which is interesting, given her later claim to have been raised by a generation which offered cultural respect and service to extended family. Red Flag.
Given the recent and universally publicized rapid collapse of the elder-care system, why wouldn't OP expect to need to deal with eldercare responsibilities? Even if the system wasn't providing shrink-wrapped coffins as part of the standard shared-room decor, of course the child of sexagenarians* expects to deal with medical issues for them, sooner rather than later. We'll accept no Sweet Summer Children with 'demanding careers' tyvm.
Standard Regressive-Conservative mumbo-jumbo: the elder generation women are responsible for raising grandchildren. With Mom (who has failed to meet OP's expected level of white-glove housekeeping; what ELSE has she got to do anyway?) busy taking care of dad, looks like OP is going to have to choose between work and brood. Free babysitting was part of her plan, dammit!
Also is there a genetic risk? My paternal grandpa likely had it in the last few years of his life as well (much later onset than my dad as he lived to 84 and died of other illnesses). I’m a bit concerned as my husband’s grandma and uncle also had PD so I worry about our future kids as well.
No fear apparently that hubby might have Illness lurking in his future. OP skims right over that much more important possibility like it doesn't even exist! Much like hubby. Those future kids seem really important to OP, who displays quite a lot of personal medical knowledge of multiple families and members of the elder generations she really shouldn't have intimate info about -- HUGE boundary stomp. All signs of full immersion in a Clan - yet more Red Flags.
OP still believes she should be exempt from the pay-back expectations of Clan life. Has this OP even acknowledged how much she's benefited from the cultural expectation of inter-generational
my mom, although mentally very sharp, has some mobility issues, and has never been the best with doing housework. She has been in denial
Writers tend to Mary Sue their way into sloppy work; posting template writing on reddit, even twisted anti-cultural bombs with fake emotional content meant to emotionally manipulate the reader, takes actual, IRL input from the Writer, and they just don't have a lot of higher-IQ interests to share. Most template writers tend towards shallow and self-involved - perfect for doing morally-reprehensible grunt work - so every character tends to share the Writer's own characteristics.
The Writer has OP accused the Villain of being in denial while the OP acts out being in denial, so the Critical Reader can bet that somewhere off-stage, the Writer is telling themselves that they're just having fun... its not wrong-wrong, or a waste of hours of precious life the Writer will never, ever be able to retrieve and make meaningful...
So someone pokes the snek a bit, to see if its real.
Given your hostile and accusative pov towards your parents' elder issues -- it might be a good idea for you to arrange for your parents to have a medical advocate and a medical POA who is from outside the family, so that you don't need to get involved.
Your mother is not responsible for your father's health, whether you approve of her housekeeping or not. She isn't responsible for making his appointments, informing his doctor or washing his feet... you need to move slightly beyond the 19th century on your ideas for what Proper Women Should Do.
Your father is capable of making phone calls and managing his own life. You've already cosigned him to the role of an inferior, or possibly a vegetable - and your main concern is your own future. That might be a real concern if your future children follow the dismissive example you've offered so far.
And just to reiterate - where the heck did you pick up such misogynistic ideas about a women's place?
The snek, my droogs, was not real.
Sorry if my post seems offensive. That’s not really the point I’ve been trying to get across. My parents live overseas for much of the year and they live on their own. I’ve been trying to get them to immigrate but they’ve been reluctant. This adds a layer of difficulty in the caring process. My mom grew up upper-middle class and so never really had to take care of siblings/parents/grandparents etc., and always has been a bit self-cantered. Actually, her main concern when I brought up my dad’s health was that “who is going drive me to see my friends anymore?” (She is a perfectly good driver btw). Also, we are from a culture where women are still largely responsible for maintaining the home (but now also expected to have careers). My dad is struggling with simple tasks like buttoning his shirt and even eating (he’s lost a great deal of weight), so while he is not completely immobile, he would not be able to care for himself.
Check out the inflammatory personal tidbits being offered as reasoning. The 'she can drive herself' thing is vicious. The implied assumption - that the upper middle class leads a charmed life (wtf?) - fails to back the OP's personal history of living inside a Clan which expects every generation to be involved in family obligations. She enjoyed the ride, but apparently is rather incensed that the bill has come due... so much so, she's trying to ignore that its landed on the table at her delicate elbow.
The Writer is projecting the assumption that a grasping, 'I've-got-mine' mindset is a standard cultural touchstone. That the elder generation can be discarded if not useful. That mental lapses in empathy or in adjusting plans based on IRL issues - like world-changing economic collapse and medical issues covered in the news 24/7--
Seriously. Today-- would you take a plane to visit health-impaired elders and not bother to plan quarantine, for their safety? Would you legally be allowed to do so, from the OP's so far unnamed countries? And she stayed for just a weekend?
Does OP live where Coronavirus doesn't exist? Apparently.
There's been a huge influx lately of Reddit content writers, specifically targeting issue-based reddit subs with emotional storm stories. Hey, we're in quarantine, its boring. Most of them slant to the conservative - women are degraded for not hitting the Mrs Cleaver mark, men are portrayed as having no capability or responsibility to care for themselves or any one else - they are the wallet and the bystander in all domestic stories.
Daddy, the deus ex machina of this nasty little foray into a sensible sub -- has suddenly moved from being generically slow and stiff to being unable to button a shirt or eat without supervision-- book symptoms that catapult Dad from first stage to second stage Illness. That was fast.
A truly self-involved OP will instantly detonate on receiving a borderline offensive wtf? comment; the recent crop of reddit writers consistently respond by politely filling in backstory nobody asked for, re-identify the Villain of the Piece, and cast their own characters, once again. as the gentle & loving hero. Not a twitch of 'wtf? maybe a little harsh?' in that response.
Big Red Flag that you've run into a Social Engineer: these writers just need a response, so they can throw in the next chapter in tonight's social undermining bombing raid.

*finally, a legit opportunity to use 'sexagenarian' :)

submitted by hereiamtosavetheday_ to LegitJustNoMIL [link] [comments]

LXP: Torterra & Friends! (Spotlight/Budget Analysis for GBL Master League)

Maybe slow and steady CAN win this race!
Well I already took a stab at Great League and then Ultra League, so this is now a full fledged article series focused on GO Battle League. And while I am still getting up to speed myself after a year of speaking PvP only in terms of Great League play, getting into Ultra League and now the prospect of Master League has made me hug my poor stardust tight. I am likely going to go in with what pieces I already have at least mostly built, and looking desperately for some fill ins I can build on the cheap. I imagine many of you are too! so let's make this a trifecta and dive into a place where a budget player like me REALLY feels completely out of my element: the Master League!
Famously, everything you use in Master League really has to be maxed, all the way to Level 40 (or even beyond with the new-ish buddy system). So cost savings is in short supply already.
For that reason, I want to focus on a couple specific Pokémon that at least have a super cheap, 10,000 dust and 25 (non-rare!) candy cost for unlocking a second move. That will be the bulk of this article, but at the end I will run through a couple other Pokémon you likely already have on hand that are likely maxed (or close to being so) and you may be a mere second move unlock away from having ready to go and get you right in the thick of the competition. It's an expensive league, no sugar coating that, but there ARE places where you can save a ton of your hard earned resources.
So the first one I want to cover is our primary feature, as it's not one you're going to see talked about much (if at all) going in, but does some very good things to some very good Pokémon. I'm talking about... Torterra?! Wait, whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Stay with me here....

TORTERRA

Grass/Ground Type
Max CP: 2934
Attack: 171
Defense: 160
HP: 182
The main item of note: the typing. Torterra is the only Grass/Ground type in Pokémon GO, and the only one in the entire franchise to and now through Generation 8. There is quite literally nothing else like it. Ground removes the normal Grass vulnerability to Poison attacks, and Grass removes Ground's typical weakness to Grass and Water... Poison, Grass, and Water all deal neutral damage to Torterra. Ground also brings a resistance to Rock to the table, as well as a double resistance to Electric.
To put it all together, Torterra resists Ground and Rock moves, and TRIPLE resists Electric. It takes super effective damage from Bug, Fire, and Flying moves, none of which are incredibly common in Master League (as opposed to Ground, Rock, and Electric which are featured on more of the "core meta" Pokémon like Dialga, Groudon, Metagross, Melmetal, Garchomp, Tyranitar, Swampert, etc.). The one big downside: since Ground and Grass are both weak to Ice damage, Torterra is double weak to Ice. This is thankfully not as bad as it sounds either, as Mewtwo is the only recognized "meta" Pokémon that typically (and not even always) totes an Ice move with Ice Beam, and other than the odd Mamoswine or maybe Articuno, you are very unlikely to see anything else that can exploit this fatal flaw.
Since it maxes just below 3000 CP, Torterra doesn't feature quite the same bulk (and certainly lower Attack) than many other maxed Pokémon. That's not an immediate disqualifier, of course... several Pokémon under 3000 CP are poised to make a huge impact in Master League anyway (like Swampert, which actually has very similiar stats to Torterra with 176 Attack, 150 Defense, and 189 HP). But it's something to note. On the plus side, Torterra has the highest CP of any current Grass starter, with 200ish CP more than the next closest, Sceptile and Venusaur, and Tort is less than 100 CP behind big Grasses Exeggutor and Virizion. Torterra is considered rather bulky in lower leagues because of its heavy emphasis on Defense and Stamina balanced against its comparatively low Attack, and that does still at least somewhat hold up here. It can take a few hits and keep on trucking.
Fast Moves:
Razor Leaf (Grass, 5.5 DPT, 2.0 EPT, 0.5 CoolDown)
Bite (Dark, 4.0 DPT, 2.0 EPT, 0.5 CD)
With the introduction of Charm and buffs to several other fast moves, one constant remains: Razor Leaf is still the hardest hitting fast move in PvP, and that seems unlikely to change. Even Charm in all its awesome and terrible glory deals "only" 5.33 DPT and the same 2.0 EPT as Razor Leaf. For anyone that's been staring down Togekiss and even Clefable in Ultra League and watching nervously as Charm chunks down even things that resist it, Razor Leaf does that even more. A scary thought, right?
In fact, let's start with just that and build from there. With Razor Leaf alone, Torterra outslugs Mamoswine (so much for that fear of Ice!), Kyogre, Tyranitar, Raikou, Machamp, Groudon, and of course thoroughly destroys Rhyperior and Swampert (who barely reach a Surf/Hydro Cannon before dying). Garchomp BARELY survives with just 2 HP, and Darkrai (3 HP), Gyarados (12 HP), and even beefcake Snorlax (8 HP) fare little better. One mistake, one misclick, one lagged fast move, and they could all go down too, rather easily, as a single extra Razor Leaf would doom them.
That's all assuming Torterra uses a shield, of course. Even if Torterra doesn't shield at all, it STILL beats Swampert, Rhyperior, and Tyranitar with ease, ties Raikou, and leaves Kyogre grievously wounded and a fast move or two away from perishing.
But of course, it gets better, because we haven't even tacked on a single charge move yet! Let's see what "Torterror" has to work with....
Charge Moves:
Sand Tomb (Ground, 25 damage, 40 energy, Decreases Opponent Defense -1 Stage)
Frenzy Plant (Grass, 100 damage, 45 energy)
Stone Edge (Rock, 100 damage, 55 energy)
Earthquake (Ground, 120 damage, 65 energy)
Return (Normal, 130 damage, 70 energy) (Purified Torterra only)
Solar Beam (Grass, 150 damage, 80 energy)
Bet you didn't even know Torterra had that wide variety of charge moves. Bet you even more you wouldn't guess that it is not the overpowered Community Day move Frenzy Plant that I think is the must-have move either. Because I firmly believe it is instead lowly, underpowered Sand Tomb.
Again, stay with me here.
Sand Tomb deals negligible damage, far under what you'd want to do for 40 energy. But that is not all it does. It has a 100% chance to decrease the Defense of the opposing Pokémon by one "stage", or approximately 25%, even if it's shielded. Why is that significant? Because that sets up the mighty Razor Leaf to deal even MORE damage. Remember how Torterra got super close to beating a handful of Pokémon with straight Razor Leaf but couldn't quite close the deal? Well now it can. While Gyarados still manages to JUST slip away (with under 10 HP, mind you), Garchomp, Darkrai, and Snorlax all go down now, with each Razor Leaf dealing 2-3 more damage after Sand Tomb does its thing. Even Grass-resisting Melmetal has to fire off FOUR charge moves and takes FIVE debuffs (two from double Sand Tomb, and three self-induced from Superpower) to win and is left a crippled shell of itself in the end.
One of the perks of using Torterra is the super cheap second move unlock cost, only 10k stardust and 25 candy you likely have mountains of, as mentioned at the start. There are obviously a number of options, but with Razor Leaf being very low on the energy generating side, your best bets are Frenzy Plant or Stone Edge. Frenzy Plant you'd obviously need to already have, as it was only available on Community Day(s), and is barely more expensive than Sand Tomb. (Sadly, it will take TWO, not just one, more Razor Leafs to reach it than Tomb, since each Razor Leaf generates only 4 energy total, so one additional RL only gets you to 44 of the required 45 energy.) And while that may seem tempting, I actually would recommend Stone Edge. Yes, it will require another two agonizingly slow Razor Leafs beyond even Frenzy Plant to charge (and FOUR more than Sand Tomb), but the coverage is... well, actually, perfect. Remember how Torterra is weak to Flying, Fire, Bug, and especially Ice attacks? Guess what types Rock move Stone Edge hits super effectively: Flying, Fire, Bug, Ice. It is quite literally the perfect coverage move for Torterra. And while you are unfortunately unlikely to reach it in one-on-one, neutral ground battles after hopefully baiting a shield with a Sand Tomb, if you get a Stone Edge through unshielded, very good things start to happen. Suddenly Gary goes down too, and big scary Flyer Togekiss, and even Mew. The Togekiss win in particular seals it for me personally, as something dealing resisted Grass damage simply shouldn't be able to just turn that matchup around like that. Yes, it takes a mistake by the opponent, shield lead for you, or some crazy switch in schenanigans to pull it off, but being able to do it at all is well worth the low cost of adding Edge as a second move to me. It lets Torterror win things that it shouldn't, or at the very least force things that should dominate a Grass like it to play honestly, not be able to farm, and have to burn a shield when it really doesn't want to, because NOT doing so can lead to absolute disaster.
For all these reasons, I think Torterra is the best Grass in Master League, and quite possibly the best starter (AKA super cheap in terms of dust and unlikely to dip into your rare candy stash) behind only Swampert and... well, maybe one other which we'll look at in a minute.
One final note: there is only one other Grass that gets even close to replicating Torterra's success in Master League: Virizion, which performs no better against the core meta, and obviously costs an additional arm and a leg to unlock its second move. Not saying Viz is bad by any means... I'm just saying Torterror is arguably just as good, and significantly cheaper to build.
Okay, I think I've made my case as best I can. It is perhaps not as strong as performance as the Alolan Raichu I wrote about for Great League, or the Gyarados I wrote about for Ultra League (and who is again a great "budget" option in Master too!), but I DO think Torterra could be a true budget option in a Master League that likes to choke budget options out, and an option that's not just cheap, but can well and truly win games.
Okay, that's a lot to digest already, I know, so I'm going to try and cover the other Pokémon I'd like to highlight in more of a quick hit format. First, that other starter I mentioned....

BLAZIKEN

Fire/Fighting Type
Max CP: 2848
Attack: 202
Defense: 123
HP: 162
Recommended Moves:
Blaziken isn't the biggest Fire starter (haha, firestarter... I made a funny!) available, as Charizard and Typhlosian (and Emboar) can all get bigger and tougher. But none of them approach Blaze's potential success, because it carries something much more valuable than all their moves in Master League: Counter, THE best fast move in PvP, bar none. It is particularly nasty in Master League, as Steels and Darks and Rocks all hate it... but most of all, because it's one of very few things that can strike fear into the heart of mighty Dialga, the Dragon that resists darn near everything else and is probably the single most important Pokémon in Master League. Blaze comes a breath away from beating it with Counter alone (and it DOES outright defeat Heatran, Tyranitar, Mamoswine, and Darkrai this way). It DOES beat Dialga when you throw in Blaze Kick, along with Metagross, Melmetal, Snorlax, and fellow Fighter Conkeldurr, and also Groudon when you pay the low 10k dust to add on Blast Burn (or Overheat if you don't have BB).
The sheer volume of wins is not there, but as with Torterra, the impactful wins are. Taking out Dialga on a budget is almost reason enough in and of itself!
In fact, Blaziken and Torterra actually cover each other pretty well. Just sayin'. 😉
Which brings me to....

Already Maxed Pokémon

Another area where you can save some serious dust and candy? Stuff you ALREADY have maxed, or at least very close to it. Typically these will be things you invested in before PvP was even a thing, either to show off or, more likely, to use in raids and attacking (or even defending) gyms.
There are two further categories here....

Pokémon That Need a Second Move

Since you've already invested in building them up, you can just buy a second move and be done. These include:
But there are some you may not need to spend a dusty dime on!

Pokémon That DON'T Need a Second Move

Alright, that's all I got for now. I wanted to get my own preliminary thoughts down on paper (er, laptop screen) and out to my fellow players to hopefully help you out in GO Battle League as Master League play is upon us!
Thanks to my buddies in the GO: Stadium PvP Discord and the MD PvP Alliance for playtesting and bouncing a few ideas for this very article, as well as the good guys at Silph for all they do for us and for PvP. I couldn't do any of this without all of them, and you!
And as always, the simulated battles above from my go-to simming resource at PvPoke.com are a good start to the story, but they are certainly not the whole story. Run some sims yourself, try these "thrifty" options out in GBL yourself, and please: discuss! I always love to hear your feedback and any discussions that come out of these deeper dives. What additional dust/candy-saving tips do YOU have?
Thanks for reading, and I sincerely hope this and my other writings are able to help you in your own PvP journey! Until next time, good luck out there!
Find me on Twitter for near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon if you're into that. 👍
EDIT: Thank you so much for the gold! Glad this was helpful to you... that's why I do this! 😁
submitted by JRE47 to TheSilphRoad [link] [comments]

OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…10

Continuing…
“Well, if that doesn’t throw the damper on things.” Dax remarks on our trip back down to the ground floor.
“Yeah. How rude. Up and deceasing your own self without bothering to tell anyone beforehand.” I noted.
“This is going to be a bloody balls-up. Trust me. This is going to be inordinately messy. A bog-standard botch job. A total dog’s dinner, just wait and see.” Cliffs adds.
“First, we have to contact IUPGS. Then what? Does Bulgaria have a consulate or embassy here? I wouldn’t think so…Then what?” I grieved. For once, I was rather low; both emotionally and on ideas.
“Let’s go back to the conference room and let everyone know. We’ll pull a brain session together. We should be able to sort out what needs to be done. The hotel already knows, so the state security forces also do as well. Be prepared for lengthy interrogation sessions, Gentlemen”, Cliff advised.
Back in the conference room, we relayed the sad information. All were taken aback and there were general notes of commiseration. However, since no one knew Iskren too well personally, it was more detached professionalism rather than overt weeping and wailing.
“Let us toast to our fallen comrade!” was accepted as both entirely appropriate and a damn good idea.
I got on the conference room phone and ordered up some more sandwiches, mixers, and bottles of booze. The moment was obviously structured that way, I reasoned.
We made our toasts to our fallen comrade and we had half a chalkboard filled with suggestions of what to do next.
The main consensus was: “Nothing.”
As in there was not much we could do. We were foreign nationals in a strangely foreign land. Our comrade was the sole member of his country, that is, Bulgaria, and the closest geographically we had aboard was Dr. Academician Ivan. No one wanted to loose Ivan on the DPRK security forces and have to deal with all that international fallout.
After some number of hours, after I suggested we all remain in the conference room as we’d (A.) be together, as in unity there is strength, (2.) we’d have each other’s backs when and if it came to interrogations, and, (iii.) this is where the free booze was.
Then there was a polite knock on the door.
I, as the den mother of this special education class, slowly got up and answered the knock.
It was a cadre of DPRK internal security forces, kitted out in their spiffy, tailor-made, and actually, quite smart-looking uniforms. Shoes and buttons polished to mirror-finishes, pants creases that could cut flesh, and enough polished brass to construct a spittoon.
“Hello? Yes?” I said through the semi-opened door.
“May we please come in? If the time is convenient.”, the head military type, very treacly asked.
“Of course”, I replied, “Please, do come in.”
Four of them entered as one. They did a quick-step, tight-march formation together and went to the head of the conference table.
“Good day, gentlemen. I am Colonel Hwangbo Dong-Hyeon of Internal State Security. First, we must offer condolences on the loss of your comrade. It must have come as a shock.” He intones.
There are mutters of “Thanks.” and “Damn right it was.”
“I have been entrusted to update you on the, ah, ‘situation’. First, Dr. Iskren Dragomirov Dinev, recently deceased, has been examined by the best medical practitioners in the country. He was obviously a foreign national and state guest, and we do not wish this to be a cause of suspicion or mistrust, especially during this auspicious Festival season.” He asserted.
We listened with rapt attention.
“I am authorized to tell you that it does not appear that the late Dr. Dinev expired of any untoward circumstances; or ‘foul play’, I believe is the western term. It has been ascertained that he expired due to wholly natural causes; namely massive myocardial infarction. Given his age, apparent health, and, ah, mass, this does seem a most reasonable explanation. This has been verified by no less than three DPRK medical professionals; one of which is the Emeritus teaching professor of Cardiology at Pyongyang Medical University. Again, you have our deepest condolences on the loss of your comrade.” He continued.
“I do remember Iskren complaining of gas pains the other night at the bar,” Joon agreed. “Thought nothing of it, given the change in all our diets.”
Colonel Hwangbo studied Joon like an entomologist examining a particularly fascinating new species of beetle.
“Which has been fine! Just rather rich compared to our usual food!” Joon hastily added.
Satisfied that Joon wasn’t making light of the ‘fine’ North Korean cuisine, Colonel Hwangbo continued, “As such, the Bulgarian Embassy here in Pyongyang has been contacted and apprised of the situation. They have taken over the case, as well as recovered the mortal remains and possessions of Dr. Dinev; all of which were conserved and authenticated by his Bulgarian national counterparts.”
“Ah, that’s good”, I said, “I’m pleased that there actually is a Bulgarian embassy here.”
“Ah. So.”, Col. Hwangbo continued, “Yes. They have already taken possession of Dr. Dinev’s mortal remains and possessions as I had noted, and will handle their repatriation to his country and family. As you can see, we have acted in the best of faith and with the utmost respect for your lately departed. Again, our condolences.”
There were some “Harrumphs”, and “Yeah, rights”, from the crowd, but since I was the team leader, it fell to me to handle this situation from here on out.
“Yes, indeed”, I replied, “We see that and do so deeply appreciate your efficiency and your keeping open the lines of communication. We have absolutely no room to complain. You, your team, your country, and your services have acted to the highest degree of professionalism and decorum. Let me extend, for the team, our heartiest appreciations in this most unfortunate matter.”
That seemed to please the Korean security forces. So much so they didn’t see the rolling eyes and smirks of grudging compliance from the crowd. I gave the evil-eye to several who were twittering quietly at my delivery of a load of over-the-top twaddle in the name of international goodwill.
“Thank you, Doctor…? Doctor…?”, he asked.
“Doctor Rocknocker.” I replied, “It’s spelled just as it sounds,”, I chuckled a knowing chuckle.
Colonel Hwangbo cracked a small smile for the first time since we met.
“As long as our orders of business are concluded, “ I inquired, “Might we offer you and your men a drink or sandwich or…”
“Cigar?” he suddenly brightened.
I smiled the sly, smirking smile of one of those used to the old duplicitous game of international diplomacy.
“Why”, I replied smilingly, “Of course.”
Col Hwangbo gratefully accepted a brace of fine Oscuro cigars. Probably more tobacco he’s seen in one place at one time since the last he rousted a snozzeled Western journalist or hammered European tourist with an overage of custom’s tobacco allowances.
His team eschewed cigars, but gladly accepted a pack each of pastel-colored Sobranie cocktail cigarettes.
It still slays me to see these battle-hardened, armed-to-the-teeth, unsmiling servants of the great state of Best Korea mincing about the courtyard smoking avocado, baby-blue, and peach-colored pastel cigarettes.
The Colonel and his team left after a couple of quick smokes, sandwiches, and surreptitious beers. I even enticed the Colonel into a couple of convivial vodka toasts when his team was otherwise occupied.
“Well, gang”, I said, closing the door, “Looks like that situation has been handled, most appropriately at that. We’ll miss ol’ Iskren, but at least he went fast and hopefully painlessly.”
I knew that last one was but a load of old dingo’s kidneys as I’ve had run-ins with cardiac disorders in the past and they are anything but painless. In any case, that was, as I noted, in the past. What was done is done. It was as it was. It is as it is.
“So, gentlemen”, I say, “Let us get back to work. Reality calls. Now, we’ve given you landlubbers the lowdown on our seismic pleasure cruise. Now we’d like to hear what you who had stayed onshore have come up with.”
Erlan, Graco, and Viv fill us in on the regional geology of Best Korea and lay out a plan to examine the sedimentary piles closest to the few paved roads in the north and east of the country.
We’ll be traveling by bus, as my request for four or five off-road vehicles was denied due to timing and lack of availability.
Yeah. Right. What a massive pile of bovine biogenic colluvium. A country with a military as huge as Best Korea’s and they can’t spare a few jeeps or Hummer reproductions?
Truth be told, they still don’t trust us and don’t want to let us out of their sight.
However, we did manage to snag some internal publications from the Central Geological Survey of Mineral Resources, which we figured as a major coup. Never before were Westerners allowed to even know of the existence of these materials, much less be able to research (read: slyly copy) them.
That ‘personal shaver’ I carried was actually a sneaky personal copier, a Vupoint ST470 Magic Wand Portable Scanner with all the external stickers peeled off, and any serial numbers abraded away.
Hey, they photograph us from every angle on the sly, listen in on our conversations, record our phone calls…hell, turnabout isn’t just fair play, it’s almost expected.
It’d be rude to refuse to play along.
Anyways, we learned that The Korean Peninsula (KP) occupies a junction area of three large tectonic domains that are the Paleo-Central Asian Orogenic Belt, Paleo-Tethyan Orogenic Belt, and the Western Pacific Orogenic Belt.
Tectono-fascinating.
To summarize:
  1. The Archean Rangrim massif is divided into the Rangrim and Kwanmo submassifs, high-grade region and greenstone belt, respectively.
  2. Early Paleoproterozoic rocks underwent metamorphism up to granulite facies, which may be correlated to the Jiao-Liao-Ji mobile belt in the North China Craton (NCC).
  3. Proterozoic rift sequences in North Korea are similar to those in the NCC with rare late Paleoproterozoic strata and more Neoproterozoic strata.
  4. Mesozoic igneous rocks are extensively distributed in the KP.
  5. The main Paleozoic basin, the Phyongnam basin in NK, have a similar Paleozoic tectono-stratigraphy to the NCC.
Of most interest is item #5. The Phyongnam basin is the only sedimentary and depositional basin of mention in the north of the Korean peninsula; and therefore the center of our attention as it pertains to oil and gas.
The potential source rocks, and possible reservoirs, include the Paleozoic Late Ordovician Miru Series was identified as the Koksan Series and subsequently renamed. The 170-meter thick limestone and siltstone centered around the P'yongnam Basin have extensive crinoid, coral, and gastropod fossils. Paleogeography researchers have suggested that corals formed in the Miru Sea-a branch of the South Yangtze Sea. At the base of the Taedong Synthem is the P'yong'an Supergroup, which lies disconformably atop older Paleozoic rocks.
In the Pyongyang Coalfield it is divided into the 650-meter sandstone, shale, and conglomerate of the Nogam Formation, the 500-meter Kobangsan Formation, 350-meter coal-bearing Sadong Formation and 250-meter chert-bearing Hongjom Formation, all typically assigned to an Upper Permian shallow marine environment.
In the Mesozoic, north of Pyongyang, Precambrian basement rocks are unconformably overlain by a Jurassic limestone conglomerate ascending to layers of siltstone and mudstone. The Upper Jurassic Shinuiju Formation northwest of Shinuiju has sandstone, conglomerate, and mudstone up to two kilometers thick.
Offshore drilling in the West Korea Bay Basin indicates these rocks are the onshore extension of offshore units. It is subdivided into fluvial rocks and Upper Jurassic black shale, limestone, conglomerate and sandstone formed in a lake environment.
There are very few Cenozoic sediments are known in North Korea, likely as a result of erosion due to uplift of the peninsula. Submarine normal faults along the eastern coastline may have driven crustal tilting. The 350-meter thick Bongsan Coalfield in Hwanghae Province on the west coast preserves and coal-bearing layers dating to the Eocene.
Further to the north, in the West Korea Bay Basin Eocene and Oligocene sedimentary rocks up to three kilometers thick unconformably overlie Mesozoic rocks, formed in lakes and coal swamps during the Paleogene.
What this meant is that we’d need to travel mostly northeast and/or southwest. This was fortuitous as the paved roads in the country were created in structural valleys formed by the primary fault trends in the country. The main trans-tensional set trended NE:SW and the conjugate set trends approximately 900 to the main set at NW:SE.
The topography was heavily dissected by drainages and the terrain consists mostly of hills and mountains separated by deep, narrow valleys. The coastal plains are wide in the west and discontinuous in the east.
The plan was to take the bus north to Sunchon, then hang a right off towards Unsan and Yongha. There were outcrops between the last two towns and they appear to be upper Paleozoic to Lower Mesozoic clastics. Ideal oil and gas hunting grounds.
From there, we’d head north-northeast towards Yangwon. There appeared to be some fair to excellent outcrops of rocks that are as of yet, unidentified as to age. From there, we’d continue to follow the outcrop belts either to their termination at the basin’s edges or at international borders with China or Russia.
But, once we hit the field, time goes into relative warp. Put a bunch of geologists out on some relatively virgin outcrops and just stand back as they spend hour after hour after hour first looking for evidence of the formation’s provenance, it’s age and field relations. Then begin the heartfelt, stalwart, and sometimes vicious, arguments between all concerned about each and every one of those salient points.
We were all looking forward to it and wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s our intellectual and scientific equivalent of meat and potatoes.
We all agreed on a way forward and generated a document to deliver to those in charge of our logistics on this trip. There would be a total of 11 Western geoscientists, four guides, perhaps a couple of national geologists or geophysicists, and whatever cadre the shiny suit squad wanted to include.
There would also be a driver, his relief, and a couple of extra translators. Good thing it was a large bus, as it’s going to be a huge crew.
We needed to allow our handlers a full day to arrange room and board for us while in the field, as we had to be bivouacked somewhere outside our fine hotel. It needed to be secure, pass sanctuary muster, and be ‘controllable’, referring to both Western scientists and nosy locals.
One thing we found odd was the lack of concern for long-term logistics, not to mention the end of our self-ordained indentured servitude. When this trip and all the Western geoscientists were contacted, we were all assured of an opportunity to meet with the Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-Un once our trip was completed.
We were to personally deliver one hell of an international photo-op. A ‘hey look how progressive we are’ meeting and our findings in this wonderful and progressive country.
But lately, with what we thought was the fallout of the Festival washing out all the usual propaganda, we’ve heard nothing about Herr Comrade Leader Supremo, K1J1-Un. Nor had we heard one iota about our intended final meeting with him before we left for China.
Since there are “absolutely no” COVID-19 cases in Best Korea, it seemed, well, odd that Beijing was our only possible current exit port of call, and onward to our individual homes.
There were all flavors of rumors flying all throughout the basement bars and casinos of the hotel. One claimed that Kim was now receiving treatment at a villa in the Mount Myohyang resort north of the capital Pyongyang after cardiovascular surgery. That he was near death and that his sister, Kim Yo Jong, is already warming up in the North Korean political bullpen if her brother kacks it.
Others said Kim is believed to be staying at an unspecified location outside of Pyongyang, with some close confidants. It was said that Kim appeared to be normally engaged with state affairs and there has not been any unusual movement or emergency reaction from North Korea's governing party, military, or cabinet.
There was also one other that tries to cover up any conspiracy rumors by shouting over a raspy bullhorn: "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"; but most ignored that little crank.
We all thought that rather odd, but of fairly low concern. In the final analysis, it would have little impact on our studies and their outcome. In other words, it wouldn’t affect our pay one way or the other. We all felt like we’ve given more than what was called for on missions such as this.
And we still haven’t a clue as to when this will all come to an end.
However, we all agreed to the consultation, it would have been fun to meet with him and have our pictures taken with the Supreme Leader. Dr. Academician Ivan Ivanovich Khimik. was especially cheesed that he might miss the opportunity to make finger-vee bunny ears behind the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces of the DPRK during one of our photo sessions.
We all agree if we do somehow find ourselves in the same room with Ivan and Kim Jong-Un, we’ll form a human shield around the latter. We want to get back home; as we’ve all heard the rumors of the horrors of ‘political realignment’ camps here in Best Korea.
So the meeting breaks up and I’m left with Dax to take the final inventory. Two loads of sandwiches gone, piles of used napkins, ketchup-y table linens, bacon rinds and chicken bones, drippy ends of ice cream cones, prune pits, peach pits, orange peel, gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal, pizza crusts, and withered greens, soggy beans and tangerines, crusts of black burned buttered toast, gristly bits of beefy roasts…
“The hell with this”, I say, I grab the last nearly full bottle of vodka and hand Dax a bottle of Royal Navy dark Rum.
“Tally’s good”, I say, not really giving two tiny shits at this point. “At least, I think it is. Let’s make like horseshit and hit the trail.”
“I’m headed back to our floor and going to zone out in front of some old, looped BBC for the next few hours with a cold drink and hot cigar.” I proclaim.
“Oh, hell”, Dax says, “I agree. It’s been a weird couple of days. Let’s go.”
And so we do.
On the way, I leave the logistics concerns and itinerary for the upcoming field trips with the front desk clerk. I slip her 1000 won as its Festival! and I had a bulgy pocketful of same. She smiled and quietly said there’s be a surprise waiting for me in my room when I got there.
“Rock, you fucking old hound!”, Dax exclaimed as he punched me lightly on the shoulder. “Taking a dip in the hotel secretarial pool?”
“Dax, you surprise me”, I said in my defense, “I have been, and continue to be, happily married for the last 38 years to the most loving, most intelligent, most well-connected, and most accurate snap-shot with a Glock .380 Automatic I know of.”
“Well, me ol’ mucker”, Dax smiles slyly, “If one has been happily married for 38 years, one must have a little something on the side. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge, ‘eh, Squire?”
“Oh, nothing like that”, I replied, while waiting the obligatory 30 minutes for the fucking elevator to arrive. “I couldn't break my word to Esme, and not because I don’t believe in a God that will send me to Hell without an electric fan or because it's not the right thing to do. I simply don't want to. A man is only as good as his word; and if he loses that, he loses too much. I couldn’t function without people thinking that I’m square and on the level. My business would crumble to dust. As would my marriage.”
“Yeah, there is that”, Dax agrees, “You say something is going to happen and God damn, it fucking happens. That’s what makes you honest and honestly scary.”
I stare intently at the annunciator that tells me the fucking elevator is stuck on 4 again.
“You’re not mob, are you?” Dax harshly whispers, snickeringly.
I turn to face Dax and smile wistfully.
Я с уважением отказываюсь отвечать, потому что я искренне верю, что мой ответ может обвинить меня”, I reply quietly.
“What the hell does that mean?” Dax demands.
“I respectfully decline to answer because I honestly believe my answer might tend to incriminate me”, I calmly reply.
“Oh, look. Bloody elevator’s finally here.” I note and stride aboard.
Dax gets caught up in the tsunami of the crowd and is carried bodily inside. It was so remorseless, he almost lost his grip on his bottle of Dark Rum.
Up on ‘our’ floor, I go to key open my room. Dax is just down the hall and looking around to see what special surprise might show up. I was too tired to wait so I just push in, and see all my field clothes fully laundered, pressed, and either folded or hanging.
Someone broke into my room during the day and committed a compound neatness.
“POUND! Pound! POUND!” Hmm, appears to be someone at my door.
“Yes, Dax?” I said.
“You too?” he fumed, “Everything, cleaned to within an inch if its life. They even polished my bloody field boots.”
“Oh, fuck”, I said and ran to find mine re-pristinized.
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCKITYFUCKFUCK!” I swore. They had polished my field boots and removed the fine years-of-work-to-acquire near-subsurface of the leather’s oil layer. They polished the water-proofing and conditioning out of the leather of our boots.
“OK. OK.”, I said, “Minor emergency. Cool out. I have the solution.”
I toss Dax a small can. It was brown, oily, and claimed to be “Neatsfoot oil”. It was the SPF- 500 of field leathers.
“Go ahead and oil them up with that”, I told Dax, “I’ve got another can, so don’t worry. Use what you need, don’t be shy, but if there’s any left, let me know. I’ll combine ours and offer it to anyone else in the team who had their boots steam-cleaned.”
So, a bit later, I’m sitting on my hotel room’s floor, on several sheets of newspaper, rubbing Neatsfoot Oil into my ancient, multinational size 16 EEE Vasque™ Tracker field boots.
Then there’s a knock at the door.
“It’s open. Enter carefully”, I say aloud.
It’s a bell clerk with a room service cart. On the cart are a bucket of ice, a bowl of sliced limes, I think, several gimlet glasses, some Best Korean ‘Air Koryo’ carbonated citrus drink, and a fresh bottle of “Kaesong” vodka.
“Compliments of the front desk”, the bellman says.
I stand up, tip him a few thousand won, and set a new record in mixology; a fresh brace of drinks in less than 7.3 seconds.
I offer the bellman the lighter one and he accepts with a wide smile.
I say “건배” (geonbae) literally means 'empty glass', which is similar to the expression 'bottom's up'. For you see, my Korean’s coming along a treat.
We clink glasses and send those drinks to the places that they’ll do the best.
The bellman smiles offloads the cart onto the table in my room, shakes my hand, and departs.
I finish my boots, my drink, and my cigar. After another drink or seven, I crater early. Dax was right; it had been a long, weird day.
The next day, Festival! is still going strong, but still no word on the whereabouts of El Líder Supremo. I find that odd, only slightly interesting, and since it will impact the day’s events zero, I file it away for maybe later use.
I go to the hotel pool around 0530 and there’s no one there. I’m able to get in a good 100 laps, unburdened with either small talk or by yammering kids blocking my lanes. I go early as I don’t wear gloves in the water, obviously. Statistically, there is less chance there will be others, adults and kids included, that would get freaked out by my gnarly left hand. I really don’t feel like recounting the old Russian Rig Accident story again.
After a brisk shower and double shower-scotch back in my room, I dress casually and wander down to the casino and bar level. It’s essentially breakfast time, but with the revelers not giving two hoots to AM vs. PM, it’s surprisingly busy. I find a perch up on Mahogany Ridge and order a classical breakfast cocktail of one liter of beer and 100 milliliters of chilled vodka.
I see Mr. Ho is manning the bar. I ask him to ring the massage parlor down the hall and see if Ms. Nang Bo-Hee is free sometime this morning.
He does and reports that she has an open hour and a half at 0900. Would I like it or any portion of that time?
“I’ll take the lot”, I said. “Tell them I’ll be there spot on 0900.”
“That’s great.”, Mr. Ho says, hanging up the phone, “Doctor Rock, they tell me that with the Festival discount and you taking the full 90 minutes, they can cut you a very special deal.”
“I’ll bet”, I replied, “Like what?”
“Oh, I cannot say for they did not tell me”, he smiled, “They will tell you when you arrive.”
“Marvelous”, I exhaled tiredly. “Another, Mr. Ho; make it a double, if you would please.”
The massage center here is run by a group not employed directly by the hotel. It’s a separate entity altogether. They run specials and have different discount programs that are not only not controlled nor advertised by the hotel, but they’re also not in any way beholden to the hotel, except for rent, I suppose and run it like their own little fiefdom.
Ms. Nang, my preferred masseuse, is a little, tiny Korean lassie about 5 feet tall and probably all of 90 pounds soaking wet. However, she is amazingly well trained and could probably put me in the hospital for a lengthy visit with her wiles and methods of flesh, bone, and muscle manipulation.
She offers a whole suite of different massage genres: Swedish, hot stone, aromatherapy, deep tissue, sport, trigger point, reflexology, shiatsu, Thai, and Rolfing.
Oh, fuck. I know Rolfing. I tried that nonsense back in grad school with an old east Indian lady that could have linebackered for the Minnesota Vikings. That shit fucking hurt. Today, it’d incapacitate me permanently. That’s a definite no-go.
I decide that it’s going to be the Hot Stone-treatment today. A geological-manipulation inquiry.
At 0900 I’m the only client at the massage ‘store’. It’s early, day two of the festival, and people are either sleeping off the previous night’s festivities or too wobbly to even think of partaking in a massage.
I’ve had several major back surgeries over the years, including one bilateral laminectomy about seven years ago that removed 7.5 kilos of overgrown bone and muscle from my lumbar region, so I’ve been very cautious about soliciting a massage. The masseuse has to know that area is strictly verboten and will do everything to avoid annoying that particular piece of bodily real-estate.
I’ve walked or limped out of massages before where the practitioner said they understood my reticence, but went ahead and kneaded and provoked that land of keloids and deep-body scar tissue.
However, based on past experience, Ms. Nang knows full well my reluctance as well as my desires. That’s the reason I’m returning. She’s very, very good; a consummate professional and has a never-ending series of jokes and observations while she’s pummeling you into submission.
Today, we retire to a private cubicle and she hands me a small robe or napkin, not sure which, of Korean manufacture.
She tells me to get au natural and to wear the robe while she prepares the tools of her trade.
OK, I’m not a small person; not by a long shot. This robe, however, is made for a sprite, not even for a small person.
She returns to our massage cubicle as I’m sitting there, at the end of the massage table, sipping my drink clad only in my dapper red-and-white checkered boxers.
“You need to be unclothed, Doctor. Use the robe. OK, sir Rock?” she says.
“Ms. Nang,”, I said, shaking my head, “It’s one or the other.” I show her how laughable the robe is as I can’t even get it over my upper arm. It’s not even as a tea towel when it comes to covering my expansive acres of exposed epidermis.
“I can close door.”, she says, “I’m used to it. I am professional. Does not bother me if it does not bother you.”
I lost all forms of bashfulness, timidity, or prudery long, long ago. After years and years of Russian banya, Swedish massage, Turkish baths, and surgery; well, if it don’t bother you, it don’t bother me.
“OK”, I say, using the robe as a small two-dimensional breechcloth. She tells me to ‘hop’ up on the massage table and lie down, facing the floor.
After chuckling about the fact that I haven’t hopped for decades, I wander over to the nicely padded and extremely clean massage table and lie down. She rearranges the ‘robe’ to cover my backside and tells me to relax. She’ll be right back with the stones.
I’ve never tried this type of massage before, but as a geologist, I must; if for nothing else, progress in the name of science.
Ms. Nang returns with a large parcel consisting of many sizes of steamed stones. They were river-washed and tumbled basalt from the looks of them, all wrapped in a large fuzzy towel.
Now she finds the large towels…
She selects them one by one and places them in ‘special, strategic’ spots on my exposed back. From the lower 2/3rds of the nape of the neck, down the spine, over the fundus mountains, and down the back of each leg.
It’s a warm, almost hot in some places, but not an uncomfortable feeling. She returns to adjust them, grind them in a bit in places, and flip them to extract all that igneous lithological thermal goodness.
I have to admit, at that point, it was feeling quite delightful. Relaxed; I had my drink and was being kneaded My dorsal musculature was being de-lithified by the application of hot rocks and expert point massage.
All was going quite well as Ms. Nang was building a huge tip in her ‘job well done’ bank.
Then the rocks had all attained room temperature. She excused herself to reload with another minor outcrop’s-worth and told me to flip over for round two of the process.
“In for a dime, in for a dollar”, I said, as I flipped over and use the robe as a laughable forward-facing breechcloth.
Ms. Nang mentioned that she was always fascinated by Westerners and their surplus of bodily fuzz. With my long, shoulder-length silver hair, full Grizzly Adams beard that drooped down to my sternum, and torso that picked up where my beard left off; she was quite unprepared to see the beached silver-gray panda that awaited upon her return.
“Dr. Rock!’, she exclaimed, “You are as a bear! So much hair. And silver color!”
“Yeah, sorry”, I replied, “Just the hand genetics dealt me. I guess it’s an adaptation for ethanol-fueled organisms that never feel cold.”
“I will soon return.” She titters excitedly and almost runs out of the room.
“Hmmm. I wonder what that’s all about?” I muse as I lie largely undraped in the massage cubicle.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and every female massage practitioner there herded into the room. They simply had to see the specimen upon which the delightful Ms. Nang was working.
OK, truth be told, I was a bit taken aback. Here I am lying on an elevated, and heavily padded, massage table. I’m ‘wearing’ only a crooked, worried grin and a sheet of a cotton washcloth that measures about 12x12 inches.
They Oohed! and Ahhhed!
I did feel like some form of an alien animal suddenly thrust out into public view. It was a bit disconcerting, but as usual, I just tried to deflect any unease with jokes and idiot remarks. At my age, not much is going to bother me, and this I found all the more laughable than troubling.
Suddenly, I was fielding their barrage of questions:
“You are American? All American men so…hairy?”
“Yes and no”, I replied. I also mentioned I hadn’t undertaken a study in that particular subject.
“Why you so big?” one tiny lass asked, eyes as big as dinner plates.
“Genetics”. I replied. “Just a corn-fed Baja Canadian doofus. We grow ‘em big back home.”
“Can we touch?” one particularly brave little lass asks.
“Touch what?” I asked. Look, I might be over 6 decades old, but there are still some areas reserved for my one and only betrothed.
I did tell Esme of this whole event later that evening during our nightly call. She laughed herself silly.
“Your beard! Oriental men never have such beard. We touch maybe?” she implored.
I was going to say “Go nuts”, but I decided that a simple “Sure” would be more fitting.
So they did. They were enthralled. They had never before, from what I was told, seen such a large silver-gray ZZ Top-style beard, especially here at the hotel. That part was weird enough, but when they started in on working their way south toward the equator, I had to say something to dissuade them.
“Where were you girls 45 years ago?” I laughed.
I don’t think they got the joke. They became somewhat bolder in their austral exploratory activities.
“OK! Time out! Ms. Nang! We have an appointment to keep”, I said as I shooed the rest of the lassies away, “We need to finish what we started.”
By the time that the third syllable of that last sentence came into being, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.
They all laughed and tittered as Ms. Nang ushered them out of the room. I could have sworn I heard the door lock behind them.
Ms. Nang reprieved her earlier stone placement therapy, with a couple of strategic detours.
She wasn’t that type of masseuse, and I wasn’t looking for that type of massage. She did, however, knead and pummel me mercilessly.
I’ve been bruised less from barroom brawls.
Finally, she announces that she’s finished. She’ll leave while I shower, as she used essential aromatic oils, and would await me out in the lobby.
After showering, I felt like a large bowl of pummeled Jello. I felt relaxed, and for the first time in weeks, my back was silent. My head was clear as a spring Sunday morn in Reykjavik.
The full 90 minutes, plus sideshow, was 4,500 won.
I paid the owner the required sum and handed Ms. Nang an additional 15,000 for a job well done. And for another anecdote that goes into the hopper.
I left the massage parlor feeling quite fine, thank you. I wandered over to the bar to see if I could augment and prolong this feeling of harmony with the universe. The mental picture even now of all those cooing Korean lassies in the massage room never fails to elicit a laugh and head shake.
A few hours later, I’m back in my room, tidying up my field notes and making certain all my paperwork was heavily encoded and up to date. It was, so I placed a number of expensive overseas calls to catch up with everyone on the outside.
I’m thinking of calling room service to have my mini-bar repaired when my room phone rings.
“Now who would be calling me at this hour?” I wondered.
It was the tour group leader. He informed me that the itinerary had been worked out and we’d be leaving tomorrow for the field at 0600. We were to arrive with all our luggage and be prepared to check out. We would spend at least a week in the field, if not two, depending on our results, and be bivouacking in different places in the interior of the country.
I thanked him for the information and said I’d inform the rest of the team. He told me that wouldn’t be necessary as they would come up to or floor, deliver the notice verbally, or by note if they were out of their rooms. If I wanted to later call each participant and ensure they were apprised of the situation, that would be most appreciated.
I assured him I would do so and that we’d be ready, to a man, at 0600 the next day.
I whip up 10 Post-it™ notes and stick one on each member’s door.
“Leaving for the field. Check out 0530. Wheels up 0600. Bring all luggage. Road trip!”
To be continued…
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This is a type of a value betting situation. Heinz. Heinz is a term denoting a bet made on 57 selections which has a big payout. J. Juice. This is the amount that sportsbooks charge on each individual bet. This type of fee is also known as vigorish, and more commonly vig in the United States. The world is Russian in origin. L. Lay A beautiful girl, a perfect 10. n. a us coin worth ten cents n. a very attractive person, a perfect ten n. $10 worth of any drug. short for dime bag. The amount will vary depending on the substance, the quality and the dealer. (In terms of Las Vegas sports betting, this has nothing to do with Tony Soprano, Henry Hill & Co.) Wood: The price of a heavy favorite. (If you bet the Red Sox as a minus 240 favorite, you "lay the wood" with the Red Sox.)-- Compiled by Jeff Haney Sports Betting Glossary. Action: A live bet or bets. ("They got a lot of action on that game." Understanding Basic Sports Betting Terms. Action A wager of any kind, a bet. In baseball, placing the bet no matter who pitches ... (or Dime Bet) A $1,000.00 wager: ... with money odds, whenever there is a minus (-), you must lay that amount to win say a hundred dollars, where there is a plus (+), you get that amount of money for every hundred ... Lay: To bet against an outcome. If you back Spain to win with a sportsbook, by taking your bet the sportsbook is laying the Spain. Opposite of “back”. Lay off: Lay bet made to reduce liability on an outcome you have already backed. Similar to “bet back” and “hedge”. Line: (American) The current odds or point spread on an event.

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